View the complete article from our discussion at The 5 Most Important Issues Christian Families Face - Beliefnet
We won't get through all of this article in this episode. Make sure you join us next time for the conclusion!
1. Divorce
We’ve all read the statistics. Divorce rates have steadily increased over the past few decades, and splitting up is more commonplace and acceptable than ever before—sometimes even applauded. With the shrinking of religious ties, the stigma of divorce has ebbed away, creating a culture where commitment has become only a word.

There’s a reason for God’s commands. They’re not arbitrary—God hands them down because He knows what’s best for us, and wants us to be happy. He was talking about when He forbade divorce. Christ spoke on the topic, saying that “What God has joined together, let no one separate,” urging against divorce except in cases of infidelity.

2. Money
Every day, we’re all encouraged to be materialistic. The advertisements are everywhere—banners proclaiming the inherent value of jewelry, of cars and houses and high-paying jobs. For Christian families, the movement toward materialism can be insidious, beginning with parents who simply want to give their children more than they had. If left unchecked, though, these desires can remove a family’s focus from God, and onto whatever the hot, must-have items of the year are. God calls us to give to His ministry.

3. Media
The problem with modern forms of media is not merely that it’s less morally fettered than ever before, but that morally depraved characters and acts are now being portrayed as sympathetic protagonists—as people who we are to identify with and root for. The anti-hero is one of the most destructive forces in all of media when it comes to negative influence. These characters follow their own moral code, eschewing the institutionalized law or government that they deem “too weak” to do what must be done. They break the law, kill, steal, and murder, all to the fanfare of viewers. They often are a representation of moral relativism at its worst.

4. Abuse
There are few things which grieve God, as well as damage the reputation of Christianity in the eyes of the secular world like abuse within Christian families. The family is a representation of God’s character, of his love and unity. We are under God’s command to love and care for one another, both for our own happiness, and so that others will be drawn to that kind of love and come to know God.

It can sometimes be easy to misinterpret scripture to support the idea that abuse is somehow acceptable, that a spouse or children “belong” to you. But this isn’t true. They belong to God. We are called to love one another just as God loves us. To do anything less is to break the image of God’s love which family is meant to represent.

5. Anti-Christian Culture
Our culture is steeped in moral apathy, making it harder than ever to remain united as a Christian family. This culture pulls at us, constantly giving us the message that we are to put our own, individual happiness over that of others—the most powerful breaker of Christian families, of any family, there is.

But We are called to be different
Christian families are held not only to a different standard than others, but to a higher—that of God. When we recognize these 5 issues and face them, employing scriptural principles to overcome them, we become who God wishes us to be, and in doing so, we do the very best we can for our families.

God wants us to be happy, and to have a great family life. Don’t forget that.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: Helping Aging Parents-Part 2 of 2

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you. (Exodus 20:12)

• It is a biblical mandate to honor elderly loved ones. Honoring parents is a way to love others as yourself and to love God.
• Prayer and meditationPrayer and meditating on Scripture can provide comfort, wisdom, and protection. Trusting GodPsalm 28 provides language to understand God's heart toward those who are overwhelmed or confused about how to help. Being humbleThe Bible calls people to be caring and humble to those in need, starting with family. Setting boundariesIt's important to set boundaries so that people aren't doing things for others that they can do for themselves. Preparing for medical issuesA durable power of attorney can help someone make financial decisions for an elderly parent if they are unable to.

From Focus on the Family

For the caregiving children coping with the emotional, practical and financial ways of loving your aging parents can be challenging.

Managing our aging parents has a common thread to all of the management. It is important that we manage with emotional, practical and financial ways of loving them.

As followers of Christ, ours is to intentionally and thankfully steward each day that has been so graciously given to us by our Creator. And as our aging parents grow older, that includes helping them steward the day.

What May Appear To Be An Unfair Illness

What can be difficult to reconcile with our faith is when our loved one might have led a life following their Savior and yet, they are stricken and suffering with illnesses. This can seem unfair. This can feel unjust. But Jesus gets it. He understands because He faced unfair suffering too:

” But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed.”

– Isaiah 53:5

What We Are Feeling As Our Parents Age Makes It Difficult For Them To Manage Their Life (Scott’s first reaction: HUH? DIFFICULT FOR THEM?)

We are experiencing grief. We are grieving the mom or dad that they once knew.

What makes this even harder is the fact that the children are grieving while trying to take care of their challenging parents.

Encouraging practical Helps:

1. Allow yourself the grace to grieve. That includes experiencing and expressing your sorrow.

2.It is possible and important to grieve what once was even if they are he lived ones are still alive.

3.Tell them today how much you love them rather than waiting for the person to pass.

4.Day to day care can be done with the child who lives the closest. He or she should be supported by siblings who can offer respite care.

*HERE'S WHERE WE PICK UP IN THIS EPISODE:

16 practical ways children can help their aging parents:

1. Grocery shop

2. Pick up prescriptions

3. Take their trash can to and from the curb weekly

4. Pick up their mail

5. Invite them out for a meal

6. Bring a meal to their house and eat it together

7. Have coffee or tea together

8. Write a handwritten letter

9. Bake something for them and either mail it or hand deliver

10. Send a care package

11. Call them and tell them you love them

12. Sign them up on Facebook so they can see your pictures

13.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: Helping Aging Parents-Part 1 of 2

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you. (Exodus 20:12)

• It is a biblical mandate to honor elderly loved ones. Honoring parents is a way to love others as yourself and to love God.
• Prayer and meditationPrayer and meditating on Scripture can provide comfort, wisdom, and protection. Trusting GodPsalm 28 provides language to understand God's heart toward those who are overwhelmed or confused about how to help. Being humbleThe Bible calls people to be caring and humble to those in need, starting with family. Setting boundariesIt's important to set boundaries so that people aren't doing things for others that they can do for themselves. Preparing for medical issuesA durable power of attorney can help someone make financial decisions for an elderly parent if they are unable to.

From Focus on the Family

For the caregiving children coping with the emotional, practical and financial ways of loving your aging parents can be challenging.

Managing our aging parents has a common thread to all of the management. It is important that we manage with emotional, practical and financial ways of loving them.

As followers of Christ, ours is to intentionally and thankfully steward each day that has been so graciously given to us by our Creator. And as our aging parents grow older, that includes helping them steward the day.

What May Appear To Be An Unfair Illness

What can be difficult to reconcile with our faith is when our loved one might have led a life following their Savior and yet, they are stricken and suffering with illnesses. This can seem unfair. This can feel unjust. But Jesus gets it. He understands because He faced unfair suffering too:

” But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed.”

– Isaiah 53:5

What We Are Feeling As Our Parents Age Makes It Difficult For Them To Manage Their Life (Scott’s first reaction: HUH? DIFFICULT FOR THEM?)

We are experiencing grief. We are grieving the mom or dad that they once knew.

What makes this even harder is the fact that the children are grieving while trying to take care of their challenging parents.

Encouraging practical Helps:

1. Allow yourself the grace to grieve. That includes experiencing and expressing your sorrow.

2.It is possible and important to grieve what once was even if they are he lived ones are still alive.

3.Tell them today how much you love them rather than waiting for the person to pass.

4.Day to day care can be done with the child who lives the closest. He or she should be supported by siblings who can offer respite care.

*THIS WAS AS FAR AS WE GOT WITH THE FIRST EPISODE. IN PART 2, WE WILL DISCUSS:

16 practical ways children can help their aging parents:

1. Grocery shop

2. Pick up prescriptions

3. Take their trash can to and from the curb weekly

4. Pick up their mail

5. Invite them out for a meal

6. Bring a meal to their house and eat it together

7. Have coffee or tea together

8. Write a handwritten letter

9. Bake something for them and either mail it or hand deliver

10. Send a care package

11. Call them and tell them you love them

12. Sign them up on Facebook so they ca

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Did you make a New Year's resolution? According to research, most resolutions have already been broken. If that's you, don't give up! Tom & Scott have a way to get you back on track!

The Session: Goal Setting & Research

Scripture: Proverbs 16:3 “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.”

1. SMART =

Specific

Measurable Vision

Action Plan Who, When, Where & How

Revise

Time

2. Vision

Long Term Goals

Short Term Goals

Goals of the week

Goals of the Day

3. Goal Setting and Research

Setting goals are linked with higher motivation, self-esteem, self-confidence, and autonomy (Locke & Latham, 2006), and research has established a strong connection between goal-setting and success (Matthews, 2015).

A person who is focused and goal-oriented is likely to have a more positive approach towards life and perceive failures as temporary setbacks, rather than personal shortcomings.

Studies have shown that when we train our mind to think about what we want in life and work towards reaching it, the brain automatically rewires itself.

Types of Goals

Process Goals

Going to the Y

Performance Goals

example, studying for no less than 6 hours a day or working out for at least 30 minutes per day can help us in quantifying our efforts and measuring the progress.

The Outcome Goals Outcome goals are the successful implementations of process and performance goals.

Examples: winning a sport, losing the desired amount of weight, or scoring a top rank in school.

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

This episode is going to be a bit different. Rather than cover a heavy topic on this week of Christmas, we decided to talk about our favorite characters in the Biblical Christmas story, and some of our favorite movies/programs and other characters outside of the Biblical account.

Luke 2:7: “And she gave birth to her firstborn son, and wrapped Him in swaddling clothes, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the Inn.”

Kathy

My favorite Bible Christmas story person is Joseph, because he trusted the angel and went against what society would have expected him to do under those circumstances. He also had to help Mary deliver her baby in a filthy barn which I’m sure he had never done before. He had a huge amount of responsibility on his shoulders and he handled it well!

My favorite non-Bible character is Imogene Herdman from “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever”. I loved seeing the Christmas story through the eyes of someone who had never heard it before. It helped me realize what a truly amazing story it is!

Mandy
Cindy Lou Who. She sought to include the marginalized even when it wasn’t the popular thing to do, even when her own family didn’t understand, even when it made her own life more difficult. She brought the grinch into the community and showed him he belonged just as much as anyone else. She reminds us that Christmas is about kindness and love and that’s what matters most.

Jason

I love General Waverly from white Christmas as someone who was a respected leader of men and someone who aged gracefully retaining his charm and charisma.

From the Bible, I like imagining the angels singing and the hope and peace they represent during times of struggle. The lyrics of it came upon a midnight clear hit home for me.

Erin
I’m a huge Mary fan myself. I can’t imagine being told I was carrying the Messiah and the social ramifications that she must have endured for that, not to mention the physical toll of being a nomad while returning for the census and a migrant in a foreign land while trying to stay alive. Her faith was incredibly strong not only to carry Christ but to be his mother until his death.

Dean
I would say Joseph. I couldn’t imagine his feelings, to me the protector of Mary due to pregnancy before marriage. Having the responsibility of raising the Messiah. Despite all of those challenges Joseph continued to bear true faith in God.

1964 Rudolph the red nosed reindeer. (The claymation movie) I love that he symbolizes acceptance, resilience, and individuality. I appreciate that he doesn’t let others negative opinions discourage him. I can relate to Rudolf. It’s tough to be the outsider and I love the story of his acceptance.

David
In our house we’ve always had an open door policy, but even more so at the holidays. That means if anyone needs a place to stay or something to eat, we’ll offer what we have, even when it isn’t a lot. In years past we’ve spent the holidays feeding Albanian refugees, housing recent divorcees, or young adults whose parents were too far to get to.

And it was true this year, when our friends came to us well after our Thanksgiving was planned and said, “hey, these people have nowhere to go. Can they come to you? We didn’t account for them in food planning and we definitely don’t have room to set two more place settings, but the answer is always yes. We’ll figure it out. We always make it work and I know it will turn out fine this time too.

For that reason, my favorite character in the Christmas story is the humble innkeeper, who isn’t even formally mentioned in Scripture. The orig

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

You might recognize this episode from earlier this year. As we looked back, it seemed like an important topic that doesn't get talked about enough. Maybe a sub title would be, "Journaling....it's not just for 12 year-old girls anymore". See what you think...

The Session: Journaling, A Helpful Treatment Strategy

Psalm 119:27

Cause me to understand the way of your precepts, that I may meditate on your wonderful deeds.

Journaling Helps

· It helps me see the ways that God's Spirit in me is producing growth over time.

· Journaling has become one of the ways that I best connect with God.

· Journaling helps me to persevere in the journey I'm on with Christ

· And it also helps me to open up to God. It helps me to be more honest with God and with myself.

Journal and personalize scripture

Related Scripture:

Psalm 86

1 Hear me, Lord, and answer me, for I am poor and needy. 2 Guard my life, for I am faithful to you; save your servant who trusts in you. You are my God; 3 have mercy on me, Lord, for I call to you all day long. 4 Bring joy to your servant, Lord, for I put my trust in you.

5 You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. 6 Hear my prayer, Lord; listen to my cry for mercy. 7 When I am in distress, I call to you, because you answer me.

Things to journal

When you need something to write in your journal, consider finishing one of the following 20 prompts:

1. This week I was most blessed by . . .

2. My favorite passage of Scripture is . . .

3. The area where I need to put more trust in God is . . .

4. One lesson I learned from Scripture this week is . .

What to Write

· All that's needed is your honest, authentic, vulnerable self willing to show up to the page and encounter the Holy Spirit.

· “Write what you see.”Write your life, your legacy, your prayers, your God-sightings, and everything in between in the pages of that journal.

Two Way Journaling

It is a way to write to God and record what you feel the Holy Spirit is saying to you in your quiet time. This journal is best for those who would like to begin the daily habit of spending meditative time with God and His word.

What would God say to you personally?

An Eeyore thought from Scott: All I see you saying is God, God, God. What if my life just sucks, and I don’t see any evidence of God anywhere? What’s the point of journaling for me? WHY would I want to write all my junk down to be reminded of it over and over again?

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

Ahhh....young love. Remember that first broken heart you had? Your kids will experience that for sure. It's how we help them as parents that can help them cope. That's what we cover in this episode.

The Session: Helping Teens Navigate Through The Tumultuous Teen Years And Dating…or, how to help your teen heal a broken heart…

Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained, But happy is one who keeps the Law. Proverbs 29:18 (NASB)

In 1991 86% of high school students were dating

In 2017 the number of high school students dating dropped to 51%.

The average age of getting married for women is 28 years old. For men, it is 30 years old.

Parents

We demand changed behavior and never address the heart that drives the behavior.

The child’s heart remains the issue. Let’s not forget the children want power.

When children cross boundaries they are trying to get their emotional needs of affirmation, identity, gratification, love, or commitment met. If they are not met in the family they will be met outside of the family.

Dr. Juli Slattery points out in Rethinking Sexuality,isn’t our sexuality so much more than rules—

God’s covenant love with His people isn’t He is after our sexual maturity and its lifelongintegration and reflection in our faith, rather than just virginity until marriage?

When our children’s values are more important to the parents than it is to their children, it won’t likely be successful.

It becomes more important to parents when there are strict rules and heavy authority.

Child ownership is created when parents spend their time building influence and a relational bridge with them.

Child, ownership happens when belief, and value is facilitated when parents focus on the vision of what they want to see your teens be rather than trying to prevent the things you don’t want that could come across as shame and guilt

Tom’s View

The answer to adolescent safe dating and adolescent issues are in developing a culture and environment that facilitates strong character.

• Be a good role model. Parents should model what they want to see happen with their children. Share what it means for you to have a relationship with Jesus and how important it is to you as a parent coping in every day life
• Apply biblical teachings to real life. An example would be when people are saying mean and hurtful things, they look at what does the Scriptures say about that?
• Catch them doing right and celebrate their success. The celebration of success can facilitate eight important emotional needs being met acceptance, attention, approval, affirmation, affection, encouragement, respect, security
• Get in their world. Help them focus on what they find to be interesting and meaningful and facilitate it happening more.

Important tips to be successful

• The family atmosphere and culture should be started as early as possible in the children’s lives. That could be pre-kindergarten.
• With the onset of pornography addiction being as young as eight years old it is recommended that no screens until a child is 14 and can show responsibility (a person‘s ability to respond)
• Put children in healthy and save situations and circumstances that will help them develop healthy character. As an example if basketball is a strong interest. Try to find an Upwards basketball league. They are Christian based leagues

Suggestions for safe and successful dating

• If your child is showing Good responsibility at age 15 group dates where parents drop them off and pick them off can be doable.
• Another suggestion could be inviting the date over for game night or a family fun night
• At 1

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

What started as an idea for one episode covering the 3 Fuels of Anger has now become....3???? We WILL wrap this up today! Criss cross applesauce promise!

The Session: The 3 Fuels of Anger

Ecclesiastes 7:9 Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.

1. Fear

Those things that we fear in life also fuel our anger. A good example when I was a school teacher I also had a fear of heights. My children regularly helped me remember that.

How did I react? I got angry.

2. Frustration

A good example of frustration would be the Cleveland Browns. They seem to be improving and then they make for trades or changes that keep them unsuccessful.

3. Hurt

A good example here would be when someone says something that crosses your boundaries and hurts. You could also be something they forget to do like remember an anniversary or a birthday.

Treatment

• That’s why it’s so vital for us to learn how to recognize the warning signs (and put a stop to it) when those feelings first begin.
• The communication highway helps with anger management
• When a person feels hurt, they should speak in terms of an eye statement. I feel . . . . when . . . . .

The listener hears and reflects, validates and empathizes

Prayer
Pray that God helps you with the presence of the fruit of the Spirit

• James 1:19-20 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

Dealing with Anger...God's Way

Transforming Feelings into God's Peace Through Self-Control

Joyce Meyer

We have all experienced anger at some point in our lives, and it can be a real problem. Though it starts as a harmless feeling, it can quickly grow into something dangerous that’s hard to control.

But with God’s help, we can learn how to deal with our feelings and walk in His peace.

I’ll admit, years ago I pretty much did and said anything I felt like. I have a pretty strong personality, so if you said something to upset me, there was a good chance I would let you know about it.

Thank God, over time He changed me through His Word and helped me begin to manage my emotions through the power of His Holy Spirit.

I learned how to operate in self-control, which means I didn’t always say everything I wanted to say. Now, that’s freedom!

Along the way, God also helped me to understand that anger in itself isn’t wrong...

Is It a Sin to Be Angry?

I’ll never forget one particular morning about 25 years ago. I was preparing to go preach at a ladies meeting at my church in St. Louis when my husband Dave and I got into an argument. I admit, I was really mad!

I continued to think angry thoughts and have angry feelings. Then my anger turned into guilt and I thought, How can I possibly go to church and tell others how to conduct their lives according to Scripture if I cannot control my anger?

The feelings of guilt not only continued but they intensified. As the pressure mounted, I started to feel almost frantic when suddenly God spoke to my heart and said:

“Anger is not a sin—it is what you do with it that becomes sin.”

That day God showed me something that was very life-changing for me. He brought me to Ephesians 4

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.