The Session: Grandparents Parenting Their Grandchildren - Parenting for Faith

Proverbs 22:6

Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.

Scott and Tom’s memories of their grandparents

3 Truths That Every Grandparent Should Know

1. You are influential – whether you know it or not

Think back to your childhood. Can you remember your grandparents? What is it about them that still influences you today? Although I have never seen them play, my grandad’s passion for Sheffield United means that they are still ‘my’ team. I feel attached to Camberwell in South London because my grandma lived there. And I still believe that roast lamb is the right dinner to serve for a family get together because my other grandma told me so! Children are shaped by their families, as they watch and learn, pick up some things and discard others.

Karl Pillemer, of Cornell University, reported that ‘as many as 9 out of 10 adult grandchildren feel their grandparents influenced their values and behaviors’. And the influence of grandparents isn’t just limited to value and behaviors. Other researchers have shown that grandparents are good for their grandchildren’s mental and emotional health, and help to improve resilience and encourage pro-social behavior and better peer relationships. It seems that simply by existing and being known, who you are and what you do influences your grandchildren.

2. Connection is key (relationship building )

Grandparents and grandchildren seem to be set up to connect well: there’s an expectation of love and interest from children which means that even if they regard every other grey-haired person on the planet as irrelevant, they do crave connection with their grey-haired grandparents. Grandparents will often talk about how overwhelming their love is for their grandchildren; how special they are and how they love them unconditionally.

Being in a close relationship with someone who loves you enables all sorts of good things: not just the pure enjoyment of each other’s company, but the freedom to be vulnerable, the courage to trust, and the willingness to learn from each other. We are ready to be influenced by people we trust and love and open to learn from their experiences and wisdom. So the closer you are to your grandchildren, the better positioned you will be to share all the good things you have with your grandchildren, including and meeting and knowing the God you love.

3. No-one said it would be easy – but God is able to work through every circumstance

No-one said it would be easy – and it rarely is! But God’s involved in all of it. His design has always been that grandparents are part of his design for helping grandchildren meet and know God – and that doesn’t change because your situation is less than ideal. He also knows what you can manage, and he won’t demand more of you than you are capable of – and he does have a plan. Be encouraged. Whatever it looks like on the outside, God’s not finished with your family yet. As you pray for your grandchildren and their families, keep asking God for your next step. He’s on the case!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.