The Session: Grandparents Parenting Their Grandchildren - Parenting for Faith

Proverbs 22:6

Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.

Scott and Tom’s memories of their grandparents

3 Truths That Every Grandparent Should Know

1. You are influential – whether you know it or not

Think back to your childhood. Can you remember your grandparents? What is it about them that still influences you today? Although I have never seen them play, my grandad’s passion for Sheffield United means that they are still ‘my’ team. I feel attached to Camberwell in South London because my grandma lived there. And I still believe that roast lamb is the right dinner to serve for a family get together because my other grandma told me so! Children are shaped by their families, as they watch and learn, pick up some things and discard others.

Karl Pillemer, of Cornell University, reported that ‘as many as 9 out of 10 adult grandchildren feel their grandparents influenced their values and behaviors’. And the influence of grandparents isn’t just limited to value and behaviors. Other researchers have shown that grandparents are good for their grandchildren’s mental and emotional health, and help to improve resilience and encourage pro-social behavior and better peer relationships. It seems that simply by existing and being known, who you are and what you do influences your grandchildren.

2. Connection is key (relationship building )

Grandparents and grandchildren seem to be set up to connect well: there’s an expectation of love and interest from children which means that even if they regard every other grey-haired person on the planet as irrelevant, they do crave connection with their grey-haired grandparents. Grandparents will often talk about how overwhelming their love is for their grandchildren; how special they are and how they love them unconditionally.

Being in a close relationship with someone who loves you enables all sorts of good things: not just the pure enjoyment of each other’s company, but the freedom to be vulnerable, the courage to trust, and the willingness to learn from each other. We are ready to be influenced by people we trust and love and open to learn from their experiences and wisdom. So the closer you are to your grandchildren, the better positioned you will be to share all the good things you have with your grandchildren, including and meeting and knowing the God you love.

3. No-one said it would be easy – but God is able to work through every circumstance

No-one said it would be easy – and it rarely is! But God’s involved in all of it. His design has always been that grandparents are part of his design for helping grandchildren meet and know God – and that doesn’t change because your situation is less than ideal. He also knows what you can manage, and he won’t demand more of you than you are capable of – and he does have a plan. Be encouraged. Whatever it looks like on the outside, God’s not finished with your family yet. As you pray for your grandchildren and their families, keep asking God for your next step. He’s on the case!

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: 5 People to Surround Yourself With

By Dan Orlovsky, on All Pro Dads.com

Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

1. People Who Will Challenge You

We all spend time with like-minded people. It’s easy. It’s where we find comfort.

• Small groups are a boost in confidence
• It can be very helpful to hear another perspective on what you are thinking. It presents you with opportunities to analyze what you believe and why.

2. Someone Just Ahead of You in Life

It is vitally important to have someone more experienced than you are in your life. The value of this is priceless because you can go to them when life throws you a curve ball.

Being coachable is a very important part of having someone coach or mentor you in life.

3. Someone Just Behind You in Life

Finding someone to mentor and reaching out to them is very important for our growth.

4. An Encourager

We all have bad days, and maybe even bad seasons. That’s why we all need someone in our life to lift us up when things get hard. For me, that’s primarily my wife. But I also have great friends.

Paul writes about the gift of encouragement in Romans 12:8 if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.

5. A Dreamer

Surround yourself with people who dreams of what could be. They’re inspiring and motivational.

Jeremiah 29:11

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.

The Session: Words We Shouldn’t Use, from Tom’s daily devotionals on Facebook

The words we say are very powerful. It’s amazing what happens when someone says a blessing over you. It is capable of lifting your spirits or encouraging you when you’re feeling down.

The words we use are also very reflective of what is going on in a person’s heart. Matthew 15:11 teaches, “It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.”

Paul also mentions it in Ephesians 4:29

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

Later in Ephesians 5:4 Paul not only talks about no filthiness or foolishness coming out of our mouths, but that we should speak words of thanksgiving.

He writes, “Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.”

Proverbs also encourages us to bless others. In Proverbs 11:25 we read,

“Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered.”

Later Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

Although there are more words we shouldn’t use, here is a short list of some very important ones.

“Liar” is a good example of a word that should not be used in family relationships, and specifically in parent- child relationships. Being called a liar can be hurtful and impact a loved one’s reputation. A better way to process what a child might have said is to say, “This doesn’t make sense to me”, or “That doesn’t sound accurate.”

Using the term “lazy" can be very derogatory, expressing a low opinion of someone. What appears as “laziness” might actually be influenced by factors such as mental health, burnout, or simply not finding a task sufficiently compelling. This would make it even more hurtful if you use the term lazy with an individual struggling with mental health or burnout conditions.

Calling someone “stupid” is a very condescending and insulting way to speak to someone, as if they were ignorant. Condescension is rude and patronizing. Treating someone with condescension is the opposite of treating them with respect.

Action Point:

What is the condition of your heart? How are you speaking to others?

To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.