Are you stuck in the same painful relationship patterns? What if every repeated conflict actually starts with the most important relationship of all—the one with yourself?

In this transformative episode, I reveal how your inner world drives your external relationships & introduce the Trigger Pause Revolution—the life-changing difference between reacting & responding. You'll discover why your relationships are mirrors, how to use triggers as teachers, and the simple 20-second pause that shifts any conversation.

If you're ready to break relationship patterns that keep you stuck and develop emotional intelligence that transforms every connection—this episode is for you.

Perfect for: Anyone struggling with relationship patterns, communication breakdowns, emotional triggers, or seeking deeper connection & self-awareness in all relationships.

Key Takeaways

✨ Every relationship pattern traces back to your relationship with yourself—heal the root, transform everything else

✨ Your relationships are mirrors—what triggers you most reveals your unhealed patterns and growth opportunities

✨ The Trigger-Pause Revolution—discover the 20-second nervous system reset that changes everything

✨ PROJECTION vs REFLECTION mastery—learn to tell when you're seeing yourself in others vs. genuine relationship dynamics

✨ From reactive to responsive living—break the trigger-reaction cycle

✨ Pattern recognition skills—become aware of how your inner world shows up in every relationship

✨ Emotional flooding science—understand what happens to your brain during conflict & how to regulate

✨ Curiosity over certainty—the relationship game-changer that creates understanding instead of arguments

✨ Two Tiny Tools—the Pause Practice & Weekly Relationship Check-In for immediate transformation
Powerful Quotes

"Your relationships are mirrors."

"The pause is where your power lives. The pause is where you get to choose who you want to be."

"Get curious instead of certain. You have to be willing to give up the need to be right and replace it with the desire to be curious."

"Your triggers become teachers instead of threats."

"The most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself."

"Instead of being at the mercy of other people's behavior, you become curious about what you can learn & how you can grow."

Chapters

00:00 — Why Every Relationship Pattern Starts With You

02:31 — Pattern Recognition: Your Relationships as Mirrors

05:46 — The Trigger-Pause Revolution: Where Your Power Lives

10:07 — PROJECTION vs REFLECTION: Relationship Gold

15:20 — Two Tools for Immediate Relationship Transformation

17:16 — Introducing The Summer Superfood Series

Until next time, Beautiful Souls...

Stay connected and keep growing with me:

✨ Instagram: @lulu.essey – Join the conversation and get daily insights!
✨ YouTube: Lulu Essey – Watch exclusive content, deep dives, and video podcasts. Need a quick boost? Check out my YouTube Shorts—powerful insights in under a minute!
✨ Website: luluessey.com
✨ Free Guide: Break Free from the Success Trap– Download my free guide

💛 If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube and please SHARE this episode!

THANK YOU for being here. Sending you grace and love!

What if every hard relationship in your life—your partner, your friends, your colleagues, even your family—could be traced back to one relationship you tend to forget?

The one with yourself.

This week on The Lulu Essey Podcast, I’m exploring the relationship that sets the tone for every other one in your life. Because when you change your relationship with yourself, build self-trust, and develop curiosity... everything else begins to shift.

If you’ve been struggling with relationship patterns, feeling misunderstood, or caught in cycles of self-criticism and your inner critic, this episode offers a different path forward.

I also share a story from a recent workshop with Elizabeth Gilbert—and how one letter cracked open everything I thought I knew about fear, self-love, and the way we connect with others.

Key Takeaways

✨ Every frustrating relationship pattern traces back to your relationship with yourself

✨ Self-compassion starts with curiosity, not forced affection—observe yourself like a kind documentary filmmaker

✨ Fear isn't your enemy—it's a protector trying to keep you safe from perceived danger

✨ The "Letter from Fear" exercise—let fear speak to loosen its grip on you

✨ Why we're kinder to others than ourselves—and how to bridge that gap

✨ Contradictions aren't problems to solve—they're the beautiful complexity of being human

✨ Creating space between you and automatic reactions transforms relationships

✨ Curiosity over judgment always—in relationships with yourself and others

Powerful Quotes

"Every relationship you have with others is a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself."

"What makes other people worthy of your love and not you?"

"What if fear isn't your enemy trying to sabotage you? What if it's actually a protector trying to keep you safe?"

"Our contradictions become interesting rather than shameful."

"Let fear speak. When you let it speak, it no longer has control over you."

"Curiosity over judgment, awareness over fixing—always."

Chapters

00:00 — The Foundation: Why Self-Relationship Matters
06:54 — Beyond Forced Self-Love: Awareness & Curiosity
13:40 — Understanding Fear as Your Protector
19:31 — The Letter from Fear Exercise (Elizabeth Gilbert Method)
25:03 — How This Transforms Your Relationships with Others
27:36 — Your Practice: Becoming Your Own Kind Witness

Tools Featured

🔧 The Kind Witness Practice — Observe yourself with curiosity, not judgment
🔧 Letter from Fear Exercise — Let fear speak to loosen its grip
🔧 Curious Self-Reflection — Notice patterns without immediately fixing them
🔧 Space Creation Technique — Pause between trigger and reaction

Until next time, Beautiful Souls...

Stay connected and keep growing with me:

✨ Instagram: @lulu.essey – Join the conversation and get daily insights!
✨ YouTube: Lulu Essey – Watch exclusive content, deep dives, and video podcasts. Need a quick boost? Check out my YouTube Shorts—powerful insights in under a minute!
✨ Website: luluessey.com
✨ Free Guide: Break Free from the Success Trap– Download my free guide

💛 If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube and please SHARE this episode!

THANK YOU for being here. Sending you grace and love!

Spring is here—and with it comes the perfect moment to reset your mind, refresh your energy, and clear out the mental clutter that’s been weighing you down.

This episode is a Mental Fitness refresher—a highlights reel of the most powerful tools, frameworks, and Tiny Tools I’ve shared so far on the podcast. If you’ve been listening for a while, this is your invitation to revisit what works. If you’re new here, welcome—this is the perfect place to begin.

Whether you're feeling anxious, emotionally drained, or simply ready for a fresh start, these practices are designed to meet you where you are and move you forward—one gentle, grounded step at a time.

This isn’t about overhauling your entire life. It’s about finding the tools that support your growth—from the inside out.

Key Takeaways

• The LOVE Framework – Listen to your inner voice, Own your worth, Value your journey, Embrace imperfect action
• The ENOUGH Framework – Move from “never enough” to grounded self-acceptance through daily micro-practices
• The Mental Fitness Bank – Build emotional resilience like savings—tiny deposits create compound impact
• 4 Quick-Shift Tools – Box Breathing, This Moment Only, Facts vs. Feelings, and The Kind Witness
• Your brain responds better to kindness than criticism—neuroscience proves it
• Small steps, practiced consistently, create lasting change

Powerful Quotes

“Perfect action isn’t available. Imperfect action? That is always available.”
“We cannot find peace in the world when we are at war with ourselves.”
“Every tiny promise you keep to yourself is a deposit into your Mental Fitness Bank.”
“You give yourself the magnificent opportunity to have both roots and wings.”

Chapters
00:00 – Spring Cleaning Your Mental Fitness Toolkit
02:58 – The LOVE Framework: Self-Love in Action
08:30 – The ENOUGH Framework: Reclaiming Your Worth
16:19 – The Mental Fitness Bank: Tiny Deposits, Big Change
22:13 – 4 Tiny Tools to Shift Your State (in Under 60 Seconds)
26:45 – Your Action Plan: Reset, Rewire, Rise

Until next time, Beautiful Souls...

Stay connected and keep growing with me:

✨ Instagram: @lulu.essey – Join the conversation and get daily insights!
✨ YouTube: Lulu Essey – Watch exclusive content, deep dives, and video podcasts. Need a quick boost? Check out my YouTube Shorts—powerful insights in under a minute!
✨ Website: luluessey.com
✨ Free Guide: Break Free from the Success Trap– Download my free guide

💛 If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube and please SHARE this episode!

THANK YOU for being here. Sending you grace and love!

Feeling lost without your job title? In this raw and honest episode, Lulu reveals what really happens to our self-worth when work disappears—and how to rebuild your identity from the inside out.

Discover Lulu’s original WHOLE Identity Framework—a science-backed, soul-anchored approach to reclaiming your self-worth beyond work, status, and external validation.

Discover the neuroscience behind our attachment to professional identity—and why career shifts can feel as painful as physical injury. Lulu unpacks how to build a more stable, multi-dimensional sense of self by drawing wisdom from stay-at-home parents, young people redefining success, and retirees who’ve already navigated major identity transitions.

If you’re navigating job loss, career change, burnout, or just wondering who you are beyond your role—this episode is for you.

Key Takeaways

• Your brain processes a job loss like physical pain
• Professional success can create addictive “status reward loops”
• The WHOLE Identity Framework builds resilience through five key dimensions:
  • Worth comes from within, not external validation
  • Humanity connects us beyond titles and achievements
  • Openness to multiple identity sources creates stability
  • Legacy is about impact, not position
  • Engagement with life beyond work expands who we are
• Rewiring our identity is possible through neuroplasticity and Tiny Promises
• Multi-dimensional identity = emotional stability

Powerful Quotes

"Accomplishments and accolades are an expression of our worth, but they are NOT where our worth comes from in the first place."

"When we build our identity primarily on professional roles that can change in an instant, we are creating a very fragile and unstable foundation."

"What if instead of asking, 'What do you do?' we asked questions that invite curiosity and the opportunity for real human connection?"

"You are a magnificent, multi-dimensional being whose worth cannot be captured in a job description, no matter how impressive."

🎧 Know someone questioning their worth after a job change or identity shift? Send them this episode. Your share might be the spark they need.

⏱️ Chapters:

00:00 – Gratitude & Recovery Update
01:57 – The Identity Trap: Why Job Titles Feel Like Our Whole Selves
04:24 – Leaving My Role as Executive Creative Director
06:21 – The Brain Science of Career Attachment
09:17 – Wisdom from Stay-at-Home Parents, Students & Retirees
13:06 – Introducing The WHOLE Identity Framework
14:02 – W: Worth Comes from Within
15:00 – H: Humanity Connects Us
16:00 – O: Openness Builds Resilience
16:28 – L: Legacy Is About Impact, Not Title
17:28 – E: Engagement with Life Beyond Work
19:23 – New Ways to Ask “What Do You Do?”
21:18 – Reclaiming Myself After Career Transition
23:08 – Tiny Promises for Identity Reinvention

Until next time, Beautiful Souls...

Stay connected and keep growing with me:

✨ Instagram: @lulu.essey – Join the conversation and get daily insights!
✨ YouTube: Lulu Essey – Watch exclusive content, deep dives, and video podcasts. Need a quick boost? Check out my YouTube Shorts—powerful insights in under a minute!
✨ Website: luluessey.com
✨ Free Guide: Break Free from the Success Trap– Download my free guide

💛 If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube and please SHARE this episode!

THANK YOU for being here. Sending you grace and love!

In this energizing episode of The Lulu Essey Podcast, Lulu shares how creativity functions as essential neurological medicine—fueling not just artistic expression but emotional resilience, mental clarity, and business innovation.

You’ll discover how tiny, science-backed creative acts can literally rewire your brain (hello, neuroplasticity!) and build the cognitive pathways we need to adapt, solve, lead, and thrive—especially in high-stress environments.

Lulu draws on the work of Dr. Rex Jung, Martha Beck, and Google’s Project Aristotle to show that creativity is more than a talent—it’s a brain-based advantage. And the best part? It doesn’t take hours. Each practice in this episode takes less than two minutes.

Whether you’ve felt disconnected from your creative spark or stuck in overthinking mode, this episode offers a practical, research-backed invitation to reconnect with your joy, your focus, and your inner power—one tiny creative act at a time.

Key Takeaways

• Creativity is essential mental medicine—not just artistic luxury
• Dr. Rex Jung’s research shows creative thinking activates different neural networks than analytical thought
• Neuroplasticity is enhanced through even brief creative engagement
• Martha Beck’s findings: five minutes of creative handwork can reduce anxiety
• The same brain networks used for creativity support emotional regulation and navigating uncertainty
• Google's Project Aristotle found creative risk-taking is the #1 predictor of high-performing teams
• McKinsey found top-quartile creative companies see 67% above-average revenue growth
• “Creativity weaving” = integrating micro-creative acts into daily routines
• The neurological benefits come from the process, not the product—skill is irrelevant
• Segregating “creative roles” from “real work” stunts both business growth and brain development

Powerful Quotes

“When did we decide creativity belongs only to artists? That narrative serves those who profit from your self-doubt.”

“The separation between ‘creative work’ and ‘real work’ isn’t just arbitrary—it’s actively harmful.”

“Your brain doesn’t give a hoot if you create a masterpiece or a mess—it cares that you engaged in the act of creation.”

“Creativity can be woven into the fabric of your life in seconds—not hours.”

“When we reclaim creativity as our birthright, we’re not just making things—we’re making ourselves whole.”

Chapters

00:00 — The Dangerous Myth About Creativity
01:29 — Beyond Artist Labels: Creativity as Essential Medicine
03:18 — Rewiring Your Brain Through Creative Engagement
07:09 — The Time Myth: Creative Weaving in Daily Life
10:23 — The Neuroscience of Creative Practice
14:53 — The Business Case: Why Creative Teams Outperform
19:31 — Five Tiny Creative Practices to Boost Mental Fitness
24:39 — Reclaiming Your Creative Birthright

Until next time, Beautiful Souls...

Stay connected and keep growing with me:

✨ Instagram: @lulu.essey – Join the conversation and get daily insights!
✨ YouTube: Lulu Essey – Watch exclusive content, deep dives, and video podcasts. Need a quick boost? Check out my YouTube Shorts—powerful insights in under a minute!
✨ Website: luluessey.com
✨ Free Guide: Break Free from the Success Trap– Download my free guide

💛 If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube and please SHARE this episode!

THANK YOU for being here. Sending you grace and love!

In this provocative episode of The Lulu Essey Podcast, “Who Gets to Define Creativity?”, Lulu Essey challenges the gatekeeping of creativity and asks the question too few are willing to name:
Why do men still largely define what counts as creative excellence?

With women holding 60% of entry-level creative roles but less than 25% of leadership positions, Lulu explores what we all lose when creativity is filtered through such a narrow lens. You’ll learn how creative leadership, mental fitness, and inclusive creativity are deeply connected — and why reclaiming your creative voice is essential in today’s world.

Creativity isn’t just for designers or artists — it’s how spirit flows through your everyday life. From problem-solving and parenting to making dinner with what you have, it’s a birthright. You’ll also learn how to reconnect with your creativity through simple tools that build confidence, community, and expression — no title required.

If you've ever been told you weren't creative — or felt that way because you don’t have “creative” in your title or don’t do typical creative things — this episode is for you.

Key Takeaways

• Women hold 60% of entry-level roles but <25% of leadership in creative fields
• Creativity is how spirit flows through all of us, not job titles
• Gatekeeping creativity limits our shared potential
• Creativity is a process, not a product
• Consistency matters more than waiting for inspiration
• Women of color face significantly greater barriers
• Mental fitness and creativity are deeply linked
• Who defines creativity shapes what problems get solved — and how

Powerful Quotes

“Creativity is simply how Spirit flows through you.”
“Bold creative approaches can be perceived differently depending on who presents them.”
“When one perspective dominates decision-making, we ALL lose something essential.”
“Your creativity doesn’t need external validation to be valuable.”
“If there's a book you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it.” — Toni Morrison
“I'm not trying to be different. I'm just being myself.” — Erykah Badu
“Creativity exists in the space between confusion and clarity.” — Es Devlin

Timestamps

00:00 — The Gender Gap in Creative Leadership
02:02 — What Is Creativity Really?
04:00 — Creativity as a Birthright, Not Just an Artistic Pursuit
08:25 — Creativity as a Craft: Discipline vs. Spontaneity
11:47 — Who Gets to Decide What "Counts" as Creative?
13:37 — Gender Disparity in Creative Industries
15:29 — The Impact of Race and Age on Creative Expression
18:15 — The Power of Reclaiming Your Creative Voice
21:09 — Creativity, Mental Fitness, and Self-Expression
22:58 — Creating a Future Filled with Beauty, Wonder and Awe

Until next time, Beautiful Souls...

Stay connected and keep growing with me:

✨ Instagram: @lulu.essey – Join the conversation and get daily insights!
✨ YouTube: Lulu Essey – Watch exclusive content, deep dives, and video podcasts. Need a quick boost? Check out my YouTube Shorts—powerful insights in under a minute!
✨ Website: luluessey.com
✨ Free Guide: Break Free from the Success Trap– Download my free guide

💛 If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube and please SHARE this episode!

THANK YOU for being here. Sending you grace and love!

In this heartfelt episode, Lulu Essey honors the unsung heroes who walk beside those facing mental health challenges — often carrying an invisible weight of their own. You’ll learn practical tools like The Permission Question, the 30-second Daily Check-In Method, and boundary-setting strategies that build sustainable support sytems — in relationships, at work, and in everyday life.

Who This Episode Is For:

• Partners, friends, or colleagues supporting someone with mental health challenges
• Caregivers experiencing compassion fatigue
• Leaders seeking better workplace mental health communication
• Anyone navigating the emotional complexity of being “the strong one” in someone else’s healing

Key Takeaways

• The unsung heroes of mental health support often carry their own invisible emotional burden
• Supporting someone through mental health challenges can lead to post-traumatic growth
• Caregivers frequently experience compassion fatigue, stress, and emotional exhaustion
• The Permission Question helps clarify exactly what kind of support someone needs — listening, solutions, or space
• Healthy boundaries create sustainable, mutually respectful support relationships
• The 30-second Daily Check-In Method prevents miscommunication and builds trust
• Supporting others cultivates transferable skills like emotional intelligence and patience
• Workplace mental health support requires compassionate boundaries and clear communication
• Mental fitness is fundamentally a team approach, not a solo journey
• The light supporters hold for others eventually illuminates their own path

Powerful Quotes

• “The unsung heroes don't wear capes. They're the ones who bring groceries when we can't function, who listen without trying to fix.”
• “Boundaries aren't walls that separate us — they're the structures that allow relationships to flourish.”
• “The light you hold for others will eventually illuminate your own path too.”
• “Mental fitness is not a solo journey.”
• “Supporting someone through mental health challenges isn't easy, but it can become one of life's most meaningful connections.”

Chapters

00:00 – The Unsung Heroes of Mental Health Support
03:06 – The Invisible Weight of Caregiving & Post-Traumatic Growth
06:30 – The Permission Question: A Communication Tool for Mental Health Support
08:28 – Boundaries: Creating Sustainable Support
10:53 – The Daily Check-In Method: Building Your Mental Health Support Network
13:51 – The Transformative Power of Supporting Others

Until next time, Beautiful Souls...

Stay connected and keep growing with me:

✨ Instagram: @lulu.essey – Join the conversation and get daily insights!
✨ YouTube: Lulu Essey – Watch exclusive content, deep dives, and video podcasts. Need a quick boost? Check out my YouTube Shorts—powerful insights in under a minute!
✨ Website: luluessey.com
✨ Free Guide: Break Free from the Success Trap– Download my free guide

💛 If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube and please SHARE this episode!

THANK YOU for being here. Sending you grace and love!

In this vulnerable episode, I share my recent relapse and return to medication after 30 years of managing bipolar disorder. But this isn’t just a story about medication — it’s about what real mental fitness looks like beyond the pills.

I introduce the Whole Self Approach to Mental Fitness: a framework that integrates physical wellbeing, emotional regulation, connection, mental practices, and environment care. It’s holistic, honest, and deeply human.

You’ll also hear why medication alone isn’t enough, why relapse isn’t failure, and how tiny daily “deposits” can help rebuild even on the hardest days.

This episode is for anyone navigating mental health challenges, supporting a loved one, or simply looking for a more grounded, compassionate way to heal.

💛 If you're in it right now, this conversation is for you.

Key Takeaways:

· Medication is a powerful tool, not the full solution
· The Whole Self Approach supports sustainable mental fitness through 5 interconnected areas
· Relapse isn’t starting from scratch — it’s starting from experience
· Tiny, consistent actions support your nervous system and rebuild self-trust
· Resistance to self-care often holds valuable insights about what needs healing
· Compassion doesn’t mean bypassing accountability — it means holding both
· True mental fitness includes tending your inner environment, not just managing symptoms

Powerful Quotes:

“Mental fitness is like a garden. Medication might be the soil conditioner, but we still have to plant the seeds.”
“You're not starting from scratch. You're starting from experience.”
“Simple does not in any way mean easy to do.”
“I matter enough to take care of myself.”
“Compassion and accountability can co-exist.”
“Healing isn’t a straight line. It’s a spiral — and every loop brings new wisdom.”
“Mental fitness means meeting yourself honestly, and still choosing to keep going.”

Timestamps:
00:00 – Introduction to Mental Fitness Conversations
03:04 – My Return to Medication After 30 Years
05:32 – Why Record a Podcast During Relapse
07:15 – The Whole Self Approach to Mental Fitness
10:00 – Understanding the Gut-Brain Connection
12:17 – Emotional Regulation and Sitting with Discomfort
14:22 – Mindfulness as Daily Mental Practice
17:21 – Creating a Supportive Environment
18:27 – Accountability vs. Self-Compassion with Mental Illness
24:17 – A Day of Tiny Mental Fitness Deposits
30:01 – Working With Resistance to Self-Care
35:05 – Reframing Medication and Looking Forward

Until next time, Beautiful Souls...

Stay connected and keep growing with me:

✨ Instagram: @lulu.essey – Join the conversation and get daily insights!
✨ YouTube: Lulu Essey – Watch exclusive content, deep dives, and video podcasts. Need a quick boost? Check out my YouTube Shorts—powerful insights in under a minute!
✨ Website: luluessey.com
✨ Free Guide: Break Free from the Success Trap– Download my free guide

💛 If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube and please SHARE this episode!

THANK YOU for being here. Sending you grace and love!