Hey Tired Yogi,
How are you?I just got a really irritating email, so I thought—let’s talk about anger. And frustration.
Confession: I get angry quickly. Like, bushfire quick.But I also laugh quickly. And cry. And feel things deeply. I’m a passionate lady (eyebrow wiggle).
For a long time, I thought that made me bad at yoga.I thought being good at yoga meant being calm all the time. Never rising to anything. Never reacting.
So I tried to shut it down.And of course—then I started getting angry about being angry. Anxious about feeling anxious. Frustrated by my frustration. Just endlessly turning in on myself.
And I think that happens to a lot of us.Not because anger is wrong—but because we’ve never seen it handled well.If you’ve only ever seen anger turn into shouting or coldness or blame, of course it feels scary.But the feeling isn’t the problem. The modelling is.
We mix up anger with aggression. Frustration with being mean.But you can feel those things and still be decent. Still be thoughtful. Still take a breath before you act.
It’s not the feeling that needs fixing. It’s what we do with it.You don’t have to pretend it’s not there. You don’t have to bottle it up.You can let it be without clamouring for a story.
And yeah — sometimes we get an email from a numpty and our whole nervous system lights up.It’s totally normal if that hurts your feelings. It doesn’t make you silly or weak.
Fun fact: emotions only take about 90 seconds to peak and start to fade.It’s the thinking about them — the spiralling, the story-making -that keeps us stuck.
So when that feeling hits—move . Shake your hands. Roll your eyes.Wiggle your body. Make a cup of tea.
Let the perfectly normal experience of having a human emotion happen.
And then get on with your day.
(And of course the usual caveat is—if you’re in a situation that feels unsafe or abusive, you don’t need to breathe through it. You need to get the hell out.)
Much Love,
Jo xx
PS: If you missed it this weeks post was a 5 Minute SOS Session for moving through Anger and Frustration so save it for when you need it.
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