エピソード

  • Midlife Stories: My Father’s Death Changed Everything, with Ben Veal

    Midlife Stories: My Father’s Death Changed Everything, with Ben Veal
    2025/03/26
    The gradual ageing and then passing away of our parents is inevitable during midlife. But navigating the grief and the emotional turmoil that comes with the death of our fathers is incredibly complex. It can be the catalyst for many profound male midlife experiences, including both reflection and transformation. This week’s show features a deeply personal, raw and honest conversation between Paul and Ben Veal about grief, burnout, fatherhood and midlife identity. Bonded by the shared experience of losing their fathers in 2023, Ben and Paul talk about loss, resilience and rediscovery. Ben opens up about the impact of losing his dad, the emotional weight of stepping into the role of “the oldest male” in his family, and how this life-altering loss has shifted his perspective from chasing professional accolades to focusing on purpose, health, and legacy. He discusses the toll of running a small business during an economic downturn, raising two neurodivergent children, and juggling multiple creative ventures, and reflects on using creativity as a coping mechanism. This moving episode is about the emotional realities of middle age and what it really means to grow into the next phase of life with intention. --------------- You can connect with Ben on LinkedIn and buy "From Badd to Good: The Inspiring Story of a Wrestling Wildman" on Amazon If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast
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    53 分
  • We Don’t Need More Mental Health Awareness; We Need More Action - Luke Ambler on Preventing Suicide

    We Don’t Need More Mental Health Awareness; We Need More Action - Luke Ambler on Preventing Suicide
    2025/03/19
    It is often repeated that ‘men don’t talk’ and that, if they did, there would not be a mental health crisis among midlife men. Luke Ambler established ANDYSMANCLUB in 2016 following the tragic loss of his brother-in-law to suicide. Recognising the urgent need for safe spaces where men could open up without judgment, he started a small support group that has since grown into a network of hundreds of clubs across the UK, helping thousands of men each week. In this powerful and raw episode of Middle Man, Paul talks to Luke about his deeply personal journey, from experiencing his own mental health struggles to creating a national movement that encourages men to open up and seek support. Together they challenge the myth that men don’t talk, arguing that they just need the right environment to feel safe and supported, and discuss why the phrase "it's OK not to be OK" is dangerous. Luke explores the stigma around male vulnerability and discusses the importance of accountability. His no-nonsense approach cuts through the social media noise on this topic, and he offers practical advice on resilience, self-care, and taking ownership of your mental wellbeing. If you or someone you know is struggling, this is a must-listen. This episode is also part of Podcastathon, a global charitable initiative where podcasters around the world dedicate one episode of their show to a charity of their choice. Over 1500 shows are releasing special episodes simultaneously to raise awareness for those causes. --------------- You can find your local group at www.andysmanclub.co.uk. If you have been affected by the themes discussed in this show, you can contact The Samaritans on 116 123 or text 'shout' to 85258. If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast
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    48 分
  • Retirement is a Dangerous Illusion - Ken Valledy on Midlife Careers

    Retirement is a Dangerous Illusion - Ken Valledy on Midlife Careers
    2025/03/12
    There’s very little more soul destroying for a midlife man than working in a job or a career for which he has lost his passion. And yet we tell ourselves the story that everyone has to do this, that it’s only for another 15 or 20 years, and that then we can retire and enjoy ourselves. Not realising that that impact of doing something that doesn’t fulfil you for two decades is incredibly detrimental to your health and wellbeing. This week Paul talks to Ken Valledy, who works with midlife men to explore the possibilities of entrepreneurship and to help them break free of the constraints of lifelong careers that they don’t enjoy. Ken believes that if you’re someone who’s reached a stage in your life where you want more from the time you spend at work, it’s within your power to do something about that, no matter whether you’re a corporate high flyer or a painter and decorator. While there’s an awful lot to be said for pivoting career in midlife, there are also practical implications, mostly around money. But Ken challenges the notion that people must endure careers they no longer enjoy because of finances, and argues that alternative paths, such as side hustles or starting a business, are within reach for many to find fulfillment. He debunks some of the myths surrounding entrepreneurship, and introduces a practical approach designed to help individuals take small, manageable steps toward career independence. If you’re fed up in your job but feel powerless to do anything about it, this episode will prove to you that there’s more to life than waiting for retirement. --------------- You can contact Ken on LinkedIn and buy The Startup Lexicon on Amazon. If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast
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    50 分
  • Most Doctors Have Never Even Heard of Andropause! - Ross Tomkins on Low Testosterone

    Most Doctors Have Never Even Heard of Andropause! - Ross Tomkins on Low Testosterone
    2025/03/05
    The andropause, or the male menopause, is the decline in testosterone that occurs naturally in men from their mid 30s onwards. Unlike the female menopause, the hormonal changes we experience are slow and subtle. And unlike the menopause, andropause is not a widely recognised medical condition. But the impact of low testosterone can be significant in some men. Ross Tomkins is the co-founder of Alphagenix, which offers medically supervised testosterone replacement therapy. He founded the company to help men following his own experiences within both the NHS and private practice. He believes that not only are many men misdiagnosed with depression rather than low testosterone, but that most GPs have not even heard of the andropause. This week Paul talks to Ross about how low testosterone typically manifests and what the impact can be on men’s mental and physical health. Ross shares his personal journey of struggling with low testosterone, being dismissed by multiple doctors, and ultimately finding answers through testosterone replacement therapy (TRT). He discusses why men are often prescribed antidepressants instead of addressing underlying hormonal imbalances. The conversation explores the stigma around low testosterone, the reluctance of men to seek help, and how lifestyle factors like diet, sleep, and exercise can naturally boost hormone levels before considering TRT. Ross also highlights the potential long-term implications of declining testosterone levels, including its links to midlife crises and even male suicide rates. If you feel like you’ve lost your drive, energy or motivation, this episode provides crucial insights into why that might be, and what you can do about it. --------------- You can find out more about testosterone replacement therapy at www.alphagenix.co.uk and contact Ross on LinkedIn. If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast
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    52 分
  • Midlife Stories: Reinventing Life, with Paul Flynn

    Midlife Stories: Reinventing Life, with Paul Flynn
    2025/02/26
    Life changes can come thick and fast during midlife. From changes to family set up, whether that be having children or marriage break ups or kids leaving home, to shifts in career, to changes in location and social dynamics, to parental illness and death, midlife can be a tumultuous time when it is easy to fine yourself feeling overwhelmed, disconnected and lost. This week Paul talks to Paul Flynn who, after a number of big life changes in his late 30s and early 40s, found himself feeling isolated, unfulfilled and longing for his former lifestyle. But then he discovered outdoor swimming and the trajectory of his life changed radically. What started as a solo pursuit led to the creation of a new wild swimming club and a community offering midlife men the opportunity to reconnect with themselves, nature, and each other. Paul shares how swimming in icy waters became a game-changer for his mental wellbeing, reigniting his sense of adventure, forging new friendships and creating a new career path. And he talks about the importance of saying “yes” to new experiences and the small but powerful steps that can shift midlife from a crisis to a new beginning. --------------- You can find out more about the Blue Bloods Wild Swim Club on Facebook. If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast
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    51 分
  • Cold Water Immersion: Science v Sensation, with Dr Heather Massey

    Cold Water Immersion: Science v Sensation, with Dr Heather Massey
    2025/02/19
    Cold water immersion has gained a reputation over the last few years as a bit of a cure-all for both physical and mental wellbeing, whether that’s wild swimming or a plunge pool or cold showers. But what does the science actually say? This week Paul talks to Dr Heather Massey, an environmental physiology researcher at the University of Portsmouth and a passionate outdoor swimmer. Heather brings both academic expertise and personal experience to the topic, exploring how exposure to cold water affects the body and the mind. She explains the cold shock response and what this does to the body physiologically, and talks about the limited studies that have been done to investigate the potential link between cold exposure and mental health. She also shares insights from her current clinical trials investigating such effects and discusses whether the benefits are likely to come from the water itself or the sense of accomplishment that follows immersion. Whether you're a sceptic, a seasoned cold water swimmer, or just curious about the trend, this episode provides an informed and balanced perspective on the potential benefits and risks of cold water immersion. --------------- You can find out more about The OUTdoor Swimming as a nature-based Intervention for DEpression (OUTSIDE) study at outside2.co.uk If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast
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    39 分
  • Therapy Should Not Be a Last Resort, with Bill Sullivan

    Therapy Should Not Be a Last Resort, with Bill Sullivan
    2025/02/12
    When it comes to therapy, men are reluctant to seek help. Most will only turn to psychotherapy when they hit crisis point, and even many of those who do seek out help will only do so because they’ve been given an ultimatum by their partner. This week Paul talks to Bill Sullivan, a psychotherapist who does a lot of work with middle aged men, about how therapy could and should support people navigating the challenges of midlife. Bill explains the emotional avoidance that has shaped generations and, within that context, why societal expectations means that many men hesitate to seek help when they need it. He shares insights into how therapy helps men identify and process emotions, break patterns of low self-esteem, and develop healthier coping strategies. And we dive into the challenges of perceived success, where men who seem to have it all (careers, families, financial stability) still feel lost or unfulfilled. We also discuss the differences between therapy and coaching, and how therapy focuses on emotions and uncovering the root causes of struggles. If you’ve ever wondered whether therapy could benefit you, this show will give you the answer. --------------- Connect with Bill on LinkedIn. If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/therapy-last-resort
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    46 分
  • Loneliness is as Harmful as Smoking - David Robson on Social Connection

    Loneliness is as Harmful as Smoking - David Robson on Social Connection
    2025/02/05
    Loneliness among midlife men is at epidemic levels. One in five men report having no close friends, and loneliness is reported to be as bad for you as smoking or drinking excessively. Some argue that it is more dangerous than cancer due to the sheer number of people it impacts and its mental and physical effects. David Robson is the author of the book Laws of Connection, which explores why social connection matters even more than we thought, and how to build better relationships and improve our lives. This week, Paul talks to David about the science of human connection, why so many people, men in particular, struggle to form deep friendships, and how societal norms contribute to this. David explains key psychological concepts from his book including creating shared realities and the liking gap, which causes people to underestimate how much others like them. He also discusses prioritising honesty over kindness to form deeper, more meaningful relationships. For anyone feeling disconnected or unsure how to deepen their social bonds, David offers actionable insights and practical strategies grounded in psychology to overcome social anxiety, build confidence in social situations and foster stronger relationships. --------------- Buy the book Laws of Connection on Amazon. If you’ve found this episode insightful or interesting, you can support the show at www.ko-fi.com/middlemanpodcast I'd love to hear about your experiences, so if you'd like to get in touch email me at paul@middlemanpodcast.com and let me know what's on your mind or sign up to the newsletter at www.middlemanpodcast.com Middle Man on Instagram: @middleman__podcast Middle Man on Facebook: @middlemanpodcast You can read the full transcript for this episode at www.middlemanpodcast.com/transcript-loneliness
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    58 分