I have an old painful story that comes up in my body sometimes when I'm activated, and it says, “I'm alone in solving everything. No one's coming to help me.” But recently I had an experience with a dear friend that reminded me that I’m not alone, that I'm allowed to ask for help and help can come. That moment became the perfect metaphor for what this episode is all about: journaling and boundaries.

Journaling reveals the old stories that keep us stuck. It allows us to pause and get curious about what we really think and feel, and from there we can begin to apply this boundary work in a meaningful way. If you’ve never tried journaling or have no idea where to begin, don’t worry, I’m giving you eight prompts to help guide you on your journey to self-discovery.

Boundary work isn’t just about what we say ‘no’ to, it's about rewriting those internal stories about who we are and what we deserve. Through journaling, we can begin to rewrite our stories with more clarity, curiosity, and compassion, and I hope these prompts are a helpful guide in getting started.

Resources

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Instagram: @coachwithrobin

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We've been taught that boundary work is mostly about communication, but that's only half of the story. We can’t talk about boundaries without also talking about how your nervous system responds. When we feel threatened, our body doesn't ask, ‘what's the best, most conscious choice here?’ It simply reacts.

Those reactive moments don’t mean you’re failing at boundaries; they’re signs that your body is feeling unsafe. That’s why, in this episode, we’re exploring what actually happens in those moments when you lose your boundary and how to gently find your way back to yourself using self-regulation techniques.

If you've ever asked yourself, ‘why did I just agree to that?’ ‘Why did I freeze?’ ‘Why can't I ever get it right in the moment?’ This episode is for you.

Resources

The Boundary Pyramid Graphic

Download the Boundary Category Cheat Sheet

Website: robinbreckenridge.com

Instagram: @coachwithrobin

TikTok: @robinbreckenridge

YouTube: @growwithrobinbreckenridge

If you're anything like me, you know this feeling: you've done the journaling, you've listened to the episodes, you've started to understand your boundaries on paper and in your head, and then real life hits. Maybe it's a family gathering. Maybe it's a message from someone who drains you. A moment where your energy gets hijacked and you're right back in the pattern you swore you'd outgrown.

It's one thing to understand boundaries on a calm Tuesday morning, it's another to hold a boundary when you're emotionally activated or put on the spot. That's why in this episode, we're not just talking about boundaries, but how to actually live them in real time. I’ll be giving you practical tools that I call ‘boundary hacks,’ or micro tools that you can use in the moment when you need them, and then walking you through how to create your own personalized boundary roadmap.

Creating and holding boundaries can feel awkward in the moment, especially with the ones we love. The more self-regulating tools we have in our toolbelts, however, the more confidently we’ll be able to move through uncomfortable situations and the stronger our relationships will be as a result.

Resources

The Boundary Pyramid Graphic

Download the Boundary Category Cheat Sheet

Website: robinbreckenridge.com

Instagram: @coachwithrobin

TikTok: @robinbreckenridge

YouTube: @growwithrobinbreckenridge

Now that you have an idea of how to place people in your own Boundary Pyramid, it’s time to step into one of the most vulnerable and powerful parts of this entire process: How do we actually communicate our boundaries? How do we share what we need with clarity, confidence and care, without guilt or defensiveness or fear that we'll lose the connection?

This episode I’m teaching you how to speak your truth in a way that's clear, kind, and self-honoring, even when it feels scary. We'll explore the emotional challenges of communicating boundaries, practical language you can use for each category of the Pyramid, and how to deal with somebody pushing back or crossing your boundary using a tool called The Rule of Three.

Remember, communicating a boundary is one of the most courageous things you can do in a relationship. It's not just about words, it's about vulnerability. It's about showing someone where you end and where they begin and trusting that you're allowed to take up space in that relationship, because you are.

Resources

The Boundary Pyramid Graphic

Download the Boundary Category Cheat Sheet

Website: robinbreckenridge.com

Instagram: @coachwithrobin

TikTok: @robinbreckenridge

YouTube: @growwithrobinbreckenridge

Today we're stepping into the final episode in this series on the Boundary Pyramid. And if you've been here through the ‘sacred,’ ‘trust,’ and ‘shared interest’ categories, thank you for walking this path with me.

This episode, we're exploring the outermost layers of the boundary pyramid, the ‘cordial’ and ‘no contact’ categories. These categories hold the least access, but they often bring up a lot of emotions like grief, confusion, shame, resentment, anger, and sometimes even doubt.

These are the places we tend to wrestle the most with whether it's okay to create distance, especially when we were taught that closeness equals goodness and distance equals failure. But here's what I want you to remember before you dive into this episode: peace is not selfish. Clarity is not cruel. And honoring your nervous system is not betrayal. It's really the only way.

Resources

The Boundary Pyramid Graphic

Download the Boundary Category Cheat Sheet

Website: robinbreckenridge.com

Instagram: @coachwithrobin

TikTok: @robinbreckenridge

YouTube: @growwithrobinbreckenridge

Last episode, we explored the ‘sacred’ and ‘trust’ categories of the Boundary Pyramid, those relationships that are closest to us, the people that we turn to for emotional safety, deep connection, and shared vulnerability. But what about everyone else?

This week, we're stepping into the category where most of your relationships will live: ‘shared interest.’ This is the most commonly used part of the pyramid and also the most misunderstood and confusing, so I’m giving you nine principles to help you navigate the tricky middle ground between closeness and distance.

If you're someone who struggles with ‘How much do I give in a relationship?’ ‘What am I supposed to expect or allowed to expect?’ ‘Why does this relationship feel so confusing?’ This episode is definitely for you.

Resources

The Boundary Pyramid Graphic

Download the Boundary Category Cheat Sheet

Website: robinbreckenridge.com

Instagram: @coachwithrobin

TikTok: @robinbreckenridge

YouTube: @growwithrobinbreckenridge

Last week, I introduced you to the Boundary Pyramid, a big-picture framework designed to help you navigate emotional access and protect your peace in relationships. Now, it’s time to zoom in closer on each of the five levels, starting with the top two categories of ‘sacred’ and ‘trust.’

This episode, I’ll guide you through what it feels like to live inside these two categories where your most vulnerable and expansive relationships belong, and help you discern who truly fits there.

When you have clear, grounded expectations of people, you experience more peace, more clarity, and less emotional reactivity in your relationships. It's not about lowering your expectations, it's about aligning them with the capabilities of those in your life.

Resources

The Boundary Pyramid Graphic

Download the Boundary Category Cheat Sheet

Website: robinbreckenridge.com

Instagram: @coachwithrobin

TikTok: @robinbreckenridge

YouTube: @growwithrobinbreckenridge

All relationships go through cycles of harmony, disharmony, and repair. If you’ve never had healthy boundaries modeled for you, however, you likely find yourself either staying in relationships far too long, or on the flipside, cutting people off at the first sign of disharmony.

Even if you’ve done a lot of healing work, you might still be confused about who belongs where in your life. That’s why I’m introducing you to The Boundary Pyramid, a system I created and modified out of necessity, first for myself and then for my clients.

The Boundary Pyramid gives you a clear, flexible framework to place people in your life based on their behavior and level of emotional safety, rather than on love, guilt, obligation, or potential. If you want to stop asking “is this okay?” and start asking “what’s in alignment for me?”, this introduction to boundaries is the place to begin.

Resources

The Boundary Pyramid Graphic

Download the Boundary Category Cheat Sheet

Website: robinbreckenridge.com

Instagram: @coachwithrobin

TikTok: @robinbreckenridge

YouTube: @growwithrobinbreckenridge