Let’s face it: life is hard.

And the longer you struggle with insomnia, the more this truth becomes undeniable.

In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy - and in Buddhist philosophy for over 2,500 years - there’s a core idea that has helped many people find steadiness through difficulty:

​

Suffering is inevitable.

But how do we respond to it? That’s where we have a choice.

We live in a world full of unpredictability, loss, discomfort, and emotional turbulence.

The things we love most are impermanent - including our energy, routines, and even our own bodies.

And yet… we’re constantly bombarded with messages that suggest something is wrong with us if we’re not thriving 24/7.

Scroll social media for five minutes and you’ll find polished, highlight-reel lives that seem problem-free.

But here’s the secret most of us forget:

Everyone struggles.

The curated happiness we see is just a moment in time - not the full picture.

​

​

When your days are foggy and your nights feel endless, it’s easy to feel broken.

You might start thinking:

• “What’s wrong with me?”
• “Why can’t I get it together like everyone else?”
• “If I were doing something right, I wouldn’t feel like this.”

This kind of self-talk only compounds the pain.

But when you stop pathologizing your suffering—and instead acknowledge that difficulty is part of life - something shifts.

You stop fighting yourself.

You stop making your symptoms a moral failure.

And you start responding with compassion, instead of judgment.

​

​

Resilience means you learn how to move through suffering with greater steadiness and self-respect.

And here’s the key:

You build resilience not by avoiding pain, but by doing what matters to you even when things are hard.

Which brings us to something crucial:

Your values.

​

​

Most people chase goals as if they were the secret to happiness.

But here’s the catch:

• You may never reach your goal.
• Or, you may reach it - and then realize the happiness didn’t last.
• ​

This is called hedonic adaptation.

Researchers have found that even people who win the lottery eventually return to their baseline level of happiness.

The same goes for people who face major setbacks. After the shock, we adapt.

So what actually creates lasting fulfillment?

👉 The answer: Your intentional actions.

What you choose to focus on. What you choose to live out, even when life is rough.

​

​

Values are qualities you can embody any time, whether or not you’re sleeping well.

They’re things like:

• Kindness
• Courage
• Growth
• Honesty
• Creativity
• Connection
• Compassion
• Service

Unlike goals, you don’t “achieve” values. You live them.

And they bring purpose and meaning in the moment, not just “someday” when things improve.

• What do you want your life to stand for?
• What kind of person do you want to be - even on a rough day?
• What values can guide you through this season of insomnia?

​

Next time, I’ll share how to put your values into action - even on days when you feel drained or unmotivated.

To peaceful sleep,

Ivo at End...

If you’ve ever woken up after a rough night and felt like canceling your day before it even started, you’re not alone.

The daytime consequences of insomnia can feel exhausting, discouraging, and relentless.

Maybe you spend the day running on fumes, all while dreading the next night.

It’s completely understandable that you might start withdrawing from the things and people you care about - just trying to make life feel more manageable.

But here’s the catch: that very withdrawal can slowly make things worse.

Let’s look at a few common sacrifices people often make when insomnia sets in:

• Avoiding travel plans
• Pulling back from friends, family, or romantic relationships
• Pausing or quitting work
• Giving up hobbies, regular exercise, or meaningful routines
• Even moving homes, just for the hope of better sleep
• Completely cutting out coffee, wine, or other things you used to enjoy

This retreat is usually done with the best intentions.

You’re doing what you can to preserve energy, reduce stress, or increase your odds of sleeping better.

And in a way, it makes perfect sense.

But here’s what most people don’t realize:

The more your world shrinks to revolve around sleep, the more pressure you put on sleep to “perform.”

It becomes the one thing that must go right - because everything else now depends on it.

This is what we call increasing the Sleep-Stopping Force - when the stakes of sleep get so high that it creates anxiety, vigilance, and tension around nighttime itself.

And that tension?

It’s what makes sleep even harder to come by.

What Happens When You Start Living Again

You don’t need to wait for perfect sleep to begin reclaiming your life.

In fact, the act of doing so can lower the pressure around sleep and give you back a sense of control.

What does that look like in practice?

Start small.

Reintroduce the things you’ve been avoiding - not in a forceful or rigid way, but with gentleness and curiosity.

If you used to enjoy a morning coffee, consider bringing that ritual back.

If you love connecting with friends, try meeting someone for a short walk or lunch, even if you feel tired.

Let’s talk caffeine and alcohol for a moment.

You’ve probably heard that both should be completely avoided.

But full elimination isn’t always necessary, and can sometimes make life feel even more restrictive.

Here’s a more balanced approach:

☕ Caffeine:

If you’re someone who enjoys your morning coffee or tea, you don’t need to give it up entirely.

Having a moderate amount in the morning can improve your mood and energy without harming your sleep.

The key is timing - try to keep caffeine use to the earlier part of the day, ideally before noon.

Be mindful of how it affects you personally and adjust as needed.

🍷 Alcohol: If you like to have a glass of wine or a drink now and then, know that it’s okay to do so in moderation.

Yes, alcohol can disrupt sleep for some - but not everyone is equally sensitive.

If you notice it makes sleep worse, go easy on it as you build sleep confidence.

Over time, you may find your sensitivity decreases and that you can enjoy alcohol again like you used to - without added stress.

Living Fully is Part of the Healing

You don’t have to “wait until you sleep better” to live better.

In fact, the more you re-engage with the things that make your life meaningful - relationships, routines, small pleasures - the more your mind begins to realize:

“I can handle this. I’m capable, even when I’m tired.”

And when the stakes on sleep come down, your nervous system calms down.

The pressure...

You’ve tried mindfulness. You’ve tried pleasant distractions. But now it’s 3 am, and you feel like you’re crawling out of your skin.

Get out of bed.

This might feel counterintuitive. Isn’t the goal to stay in bed and rest?

Yes—and no.

If your bed starts to feel like a torture chamber, then staying in it just reinforces the fear and frustration that fuels insomnia.

Let’s talk about what to do when it’s time to step away.

Changing your physical environment can interrupt the fight-or-flight cycle.

Your brain gets fresh input: “Oh, we’re not trapped. We can move.”

This act alone can help reduce hyperarousal and make the night feel less claustrophobic.

Leaving bed isn’t a failure. It’s a reset.

Your goal is not to exhaust yourself into sleep.

It’s simply to soothe your nervous system and return to bed when your body’s truly ready.

Try:

• Reading in low light
• Listening to calming music, a podcast, or a video
• Doing light stretching or breathing

When you feel sleepy—eyes drooping, head nodding—head back to bed.

Still awake later? You can get up again. You’re not doing it wrong.

You’re not trying to earn sleep. You’re learning to live through the night without spiraling.

Whatever you try—mindfulness, distraction, or getting up—these refinements make a big difference:

✅ Don’t watch the clock. Time-checking = tension. Set your alarm and ignore the rest.

✅ Drop expectations. Your night might surprise you. Let go of “I need X hours.”

✅ Welcome discomfort. It’s hard to be awake at night. That’s okay. It’s not a crisis.

✅ Conserve your energy. Less emotional struggle = more resilience tomorrow.

✅ Accept weird symptoms. Racing heart? Twitching? These are anxiety, not danger.

This process takes time.

There are ups and downs. But every night you stop fighting and start softening, you’re reconditioning your brain.

Peace first. Sleep second.

You’re doing the work—and it’s working, even if you don’t see it yet.

To peaceful sleep,

Ivo at End Insomnia

Why should you listen to me?

I recovered from insomnia after 5 brutal years of suffering. I also wrote a book about it. I've now coached many on how to end their insomnia for good in 8 weeks.

1. Looking for a deep dive into the End Insomnia System? Start with the End Insomnia book on Amazon.
2. If you are committed to ending insomnia for good in 8 weeks, 100% naturally, book a call today to see if we can help.