Let’s face it: life is hard.

And the longer you struggle with insomnia, the more this truth becomes undeniable.

In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy - and in Buddhist philosophy for over 2,500 years - there’s a core idea that has helped many people find steadiness through difficulty:

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Suffering is inevitable.

But how do we respond to it? That’s where we have a choice.

We live in a world full of unpredictability, loss, discomfort, and emotional turbulence.

The things we love most are impermanent - including our energy, routines, and even our own bodies.

And yet… we’re constantly bombarded with messages that suggest something is wrong with us if we’re not thriving 24/7.

Scroll social media for five minutes and you’ll find polished, highlight-reel lives that seem problem-free.

But here’s the secret most of us forget:

Everyone struggles.

The curated happiness we see is just a moment in time - not the full picture.

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When your days are foggy and your nights feel endless, it’s easy to feel broken.

You might start thinking:

• “What’s wrong with me?”
• “Why can’t I get it together like everyone else?”
• “If I were doing something right, I wouldn’t feel like this.”

This kind of self-talk only compounds the pain.

But when you stop pathologizing your suffering—and instead acknowledge that difficulty is part of life - something shifts.

You stop fighting yourself.

You stop making your symptoms a moral failure.

And you start responding with compassion, instead of judgment.

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Resilience means you learn how to move through suffering with greater steadiness and self-respect.

And here’s the key:

You build resilience not by avoiding pain, but by doing what matters to you even when things are hard.

Which brings us to something crucial:

Your values.

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Most people chase goals as if they were the secret to happiness.

But here’s the catch:

• You may never reach your goal.
• Or, you may reach it - and then realize the happiness didn’t last.
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This is called hedonic adaptation.

Researchers have found that even people who win the lottery eventually return to their baseline level of happiness.

The same goes for people who face major setbacks. After the shock, we adapt.

So what actually creates lasting fulfillment?

👉 The answer: Your intentional actions.

What you choose to focus on. What you choose to live out, even when life is rough.

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Values are qualities you can embody any time, whether or not you’re sleeping well.

They’re things like:

• Kindness
• Courage
• Growth
• Honesty
• Creativity
• Connection
• Compassion
• Service

Unlike goals, you don’t “achieve” values. You live them.

And they bring purpose and meaning in the moment, not just “someday” when things improve.

• What do you want your life to stand for?
• What kind of person do you want to be - even on a rough day?
• What values can guide you through this season of insomnia?

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Next time, I’ll share how to put your values into action - even on days when you feel drained or unmotivated.

To peaceful sleep,

Ivo at End...