💬 Welcome to the "Don't Pick the Scab" Podcast, where host David helps men over 40 heal, thrive, and conquer life after divorce! In this episode, we're joined by financial expert Steve Schleupner, a seasoned planner with over 20 years of experience specializing in divorce transitions. 💼

Steve dives deep into the unique challenges men face when managing their finances post-divorce, from housing transitions to understanding retirement accounts and tax implications. He shares actionable advice to help you navigate the storm and rebuild your wealth with clarity and confidence. 🌟

💡 Topics we cover in this episode:

• The #1 financial mistake men make during divorce (and how to avoid it) 🚨

• How to master housing transitions in today’s high-interest market 🏡

• Understanding the hidden costs of dividing assets 💵

• Why legacy planning is crucial for your post-divorce peace of mind 📜

• Developing a positive financial mindset after divorce 💪

🔥 Steve also shares his personal story of overcoming financial fears after his own divorce and how he uses his expertise to empower other men to regain control of their lives. Whether you're dealing with alimony, child support, or simply figuring out how to start over, this episode is packed with insights you don’t want to miss.

👂 Tune in now to transform your financial future after divorce!

💬 Got questions about finances or divorce recovery? Share your thoughts in the comments below—we’d love to hear your story and tips for others! 👇

👉 Find Steve Schleupner:

Website: www.youtreecoaching.com

Podcast: A Man's Journey Through Divorce

🔔 Don’t forget to subscribe for more episodes designed to help men over 40 rebuild, recover, and thrive after divorce!

#DivorceRecovery #FinanceTips #MenOver40 #DivorceSupport #DontPickTheScabPodcast

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In this heartfelt episode of the "Don't Pick the Scab Podcast," David interviews Shawn Richardson, a fitness trainer, audiobook narrator, and former Ninja Warrior finalist, about his journey through resilience, healing, and self-improvement. The podcast starts with a different flavor - the importance of flossing your teeth. Really? But eventually, Shawn shares his experiences with overcoming the challenges of divorce, including coping with depression, rebuilding his life after a house fire, and navigating the complexities of fatherhood. He emphasizes the importance of discipline, humor, and faith while discussing his fitness philosophy, therapeutic endeavors, and the role forgiveness plays in personal growth. Shawn also opens up about mental health, the power of community, and how small, consistent efforts can lead to significant transformations. This episode is an inspiring conversation full of vulnerability, hope, and actionable insights for anyone striving to overcome life's obstacles.

Top 10 Topics Mentioned by Shawn:

1. The importance of consistency and discipline in fitness and life.

2. Coping with divorce and the emotional toll of separation.

3. The role of community and church in personal healing.

4. The impact of therapy, including accelerated resolution therapy and neuroplasticity training.

5. Overcoming self-doubt and negative self-talk.

6. The value of small wins and gradual progress in personal growth.

7. The trauma of rebuilding after a house fire.

8. Struggling with suicidal ideation and prioritizing mental health.

9. Fatherhood and maintaining a strong relationship with his children.

10. Forgiveness and self-reflection as key components of healing.

Shawn's Contact Info:

-The BAMF Hammer

-Instagram

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Welcome back to the 'Don't Pick the Scab Podcast,' where we delve deep into the emotional journey of divorce recovery for men over 40. In our latest episode, I had the pleasure of chatting with Suzan Peltikian, a passionate peak performance coach and global speaker. Suzan is dedicated to helping individuals transform their mindsets and manifest their dreams—a truly positive force for change.

In our conversation, we explored several key topics including the challenges of co-parenting, the importance of self-care during recovery, and what true healing looks like for men navigating life after divorce. Here are some powerful insights and practical tools to support your journey toward a brighter future.

Co-Parenting: The Power of Perspective

Co-parenting can be one of the most challenging aspects of post-divorce life. Suzan emphasized that our situations often come as lessons, presenting opportunities for growth and transformation. “Be the change you wish to see in the world,” she recited, echoing Mahatma Gandhi’s wisdom. This means that in co-parenting, the way we show up—regardless of how our ex-partners behave—determines the quality of our relationships and our overall well-being.

Suzan reminded us that we're not just bodies; we are limitless souls. By focusing on self-transformation, we can break generational patterns and evolve into better versions of ourselves. The emotions we carry can either hold us back or propel us forward, and it's our responsibility to choose wisely.

Self-Care: The Foundation of Recovery

When discussing self-care, Suzan challenged the notion that men must always take care of others first. She encouraged men to prioritize themselves, stating, “You are number one of one.” In a world where society has often taught men to suppress their emotions, it's vital to recognize the importance of nurturing one’s mind, body, and soul.

Finding what sparks joy and makes you happy is crucial. Engaging in self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential for your healing process. As Suzan put it, “We cannot pour from an empty cup.” So, take time for yourself—whether it’s through exercise, hobbies, or simply enjoying quiet moments.

Reclaiming Identity After Divorce

Divorce can leave men feeling lost, grappling with a sense of identity. Suzan offered a straightforward solution: start by crafting a vision for your life. Writing down what you want and who you aspire to be is a powerful step toward redefining your identity.

Suzanne emphasized that “we don’t get what we want; we get who we are being.” By focusing on self-affirming “I am” statements, you reinforce your new identity and begin to attract the life you desire. Visualizing positive outcomes, especially in co-parenting, is crucial to manifesting a harmonious future.

The Importance of Language

Words matter—both what we say to ourselves and how we speak about others. Suzan pointed out that negative self-talk can perpetuate a cycle of victimhood. Instead of giving power to external circumstances, it’s essential to reclaim that power by changing our internal dialogue.

By practicing mindfulness and being aware of our thoughts, we can shift our mindset from one of scarcity to abundance. Remember, every thought is a seed that you plant in your life’s garden. Choose wisely what you nurture.

Suzan's Website!

INSTAGRAM HOOKUP!

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In Episode #88 of Don't Pick the Scab Podcast, host David welcomes guest Jack Kammer, a seasoned advocate for male gender issues with over 40 years of experience. Together, they tackle the complex landscape of divorce recovery, fatherhood, and co-parenting for men over 40. Jack shares his unique perspective as a social worker and former Executive Director of the National Congress for Men, shedding light on the societal pressures and evolving roles of fathers in the aftermath of divorce. Despite not being a father himself, Jack passionately discusses the importance of fatherhood and the societal challenges men face, such as the stigma of being secondary parents and the struggles of shared custody arrangements.

The conversation delves into emotional recovery, with Jack highlighting how anger often masks deeper emotions like sadness and grief. He recounts transformative moments from his career, including workshops that helped angry fathers confront their pain and rebuild their emotional health. David and Jack also explore the challenges of co-parenting, the backlash against shared parenting initiatives, and societal shifts in gender roles over time. Jack advocates for the rebuttable presumption of shared parenting, emphasizing its benefits for children and the importance of fathers in their development.

This episode is a powerful mix of personal anecdotes, professional insights, and actionable advice for navigating the emotional and practical hurdles of divorce recovery. Whether you're a divorced dad or an ally, this episode offers hope, healing, and a fresh perspective on fatherhood’s evolving role in modern society.

Top 10 Topics Discussed

1. The concept of "Don't Pick the Scab" as a metaphor for men's emotional healing post-divorce.

2. The importance of moving past anger and confronting deeper emotions like sadness and grief.

3. Challenges of co-parenting and the prevalence of "shit show" dynamics.

4. The benefits of shared parenting and the case for rebuttable presumption laws.

5. The societal undervaluing of fathers and its long-term impact on families.

6. Personal anecdotes about navigating co-parenting challenges, including financial disputes.

7. Cultural perceptions of masculinity and their influence on divorce recovery.

8. The backlash against fathers seeking equal parenting roles post-divorce.

9. Historical shifts in fatherhood roles, from pre-industrial times to the modern era.

10. The emotional toll of divorce and tools for rebuilding a positive future for men and their children.

All Things Jack

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In this insightful episode of the Don’t Pick the Scab Podcast, host David interviews Victor Giusfredi—a certified life and wellness coach with over 20 years of experience in mindset and behavioral psychology. Victor, also an internationally certified neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) practitioner, shares his transformative journey from emotional struggles to becoming an expert in sustainable change. As the author of No Grail Without Dragons and the upcoming Marriage by Design, Victor dives deep into the challenges men face during divorce recovery and personal growth.

During the conversation, Victor explores the subconscious patterns of men dealing with divorce, such as anger and defensiveness, and emphasizes the importance of rewiring thought processes to break negative cycles. He candidly discusses his own life experiences, including overcoming two divorces, co-parenting struggles, and rebuilding self-worth. Victor shares actionable advice on how men can cultivate sustainable change by shifting their mindset, embracing vulnerability, and finding meaningful lessons in suffering.

Key topics include managing anger as a coping mechanism, redefining identity after divorce, and fostering forgiveness to release emotional weight. Victor’s thoughtful insights provide men over 40 with a roadmap to healing, personal transformation, and creating fulfilling relationships. Whether it’s navigating co-parenting challenges or rediscovering self-worth, this episode is packed with wisdom, practical tools, and inspirational stories.

Listeners can connect with Victor via his website, victorgiusfredi.com, or follow him on social media for more resources on navigating life after divorce. Keywords: divorce recovery, men over 40, mindset, co-parenting, forgiveness, self-worth, personal growth.

Top 10 Subjects Covered in the Interview with Victor Giusfredi

1. Subconscious Patterns in Divorce Recovery

   • Victor identifies anger as a common coping mechanism for men and explains its connection to depression and emotional turmoil.

2. Rewiring Thought Processes

   • How identifying and questioning automatic thoughts can lead to healthier emotional responses and actions.

3. Rebuilding Self-Worth

   • Victor outlines a step-by-step approach to taking inventory of personal strengths and weaknesses to regain confidence after divorce.

4. Redefining Identity After Divorce

   • The importance of letting go of outdated self-perceptions and crafting a new version of oneself.

5. Forgiveness as a Personal Tool

   • Victor shares his journey of forgiving his stepfather, highlighting how forgiveness frees the individual, not just the other person.

6. Co-Parenting Challenges

   • Advice for managing what happens at the ex-spouse’s house and focusing on modeling positive behavior for children.

7. Sustainable Change

   • The value of giving new meaning to painful experiences and using them as a foundation for long-term personal growth.

8. Breaking the Cycle of Generational Divorce

   • Victor’s perspective on how parents’ choices influence, but do not dictate, relationship outcomes for their children.

9. The Role of Vulnerability in Personal Growth

   • Why being open to emotional experiences and criticism is crucial for building healthier relationships.

10. Finding Positive Meaning in Suffering

    • Victor explains how reframing past struggles can lead to wisdom, resilience, and a sense of purpose.

All Things Victor

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The podcast episode from Don't Pick the Scab Podcast hosted by David M. Webb features guest Michael Read, a men's coach specializing in healthy masculinity, mental health, and co-parenting. The discussion centers on helping men over 40 recover from divorce, navigate co-parenting challenges, and embrace healthier masculinity. Michael shares insights from his personal journey, including his exploration of attachment theory and the patterns that shape relationships. He emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, emotional regulation, and building supportive male communities.

The conversation also delves into the psychological impact of being a second-generation divorcee, the challenges of co-parenting without effective communication with an ex-partner, and the emotional toll of not being able to control what happens in the other parent's household. Michael provides practical advice for men, such as setting boundaries, seeking therapy or coaching, and finding support groups to navigate these challenges.

The episode concludes with a discussion on dating after divorce, highlighting the importance of self-healing before entering new relationships. Michael stresses the need for open communication, self-awareness, and the value of male bonding in the healing process. The podcast offers actionable advice and relatable anecdotes to help men rebuild their lives post-divorce.

Top 10 Most Important Points

1. Attachment Theory and Relationship Patterns: Michael Read explains how attachment theory helps men understand recurring patterns in their relationships and how these patterns often stem from childhood experiences.

2. Second-Generation Divorce Impact: David and Michael discuss the psychological effects of being a child of divorce and how it influences one's own relationships and masculinity.

3. Co-Parenting Challenges: The podcast addresses the difficulties of co-parenting, especially when communication with an ex-partner is strained or non-existent.

4. Emotional Regulation: Michael emphasizes the importance of setting "rules of engagement" in relationships to avoid destructive behaviors like name-calling and character attacks during conflicts.

5. Support Systems for Men: Both David and Michael highlight the necessity of male bonding and support groups to help men navigate the emotional challenges of divorce and co-parenting.

6. Therapy and Coaching: The episode discusses the pros and cons of therapy for men, noting that traditional therapy may not always align with how men process emotions. Coaching and male-specific support groups are presented as alternatives.

7. Dating After Divorce: Michael advises men to focus on self-healing before jumping into new relationships and to be transparent about their emotional state when dating.

8. Healthy Masculinity: The podcast explores the concept of healthy masculinity, emphasizing science-backed approaches to understanding and embracing it.

9. Parenting Through Example: Michael advises divorced fathers to focus on being consistent role models for their children, demonstrating integrity and stability despite challenges with their ex-partners.

10. The Importance of Self-Awareness: Both hosts stress the need for men to reflect on their behaviors, recognize patterns, and take responsibility for their emotional growth.

THE ADAPTIVE MEN YOUTUBE CHANNEL

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In this episode of the Don’t Pick the Scab podcast, I interview Rabbi Avi Kahan, a seasoned mediator, judge, and expert in conflict resolution, who shares deep insights into divorce recovery for men over 40. Avi’s unique perspective stems from his 15 years of experience with matrimonial disputes and his background in both religious and civil mediation. He emphasizes that divorce is not merely an end but an opportunity for immense personal growth and healing.

Avi introduces the concept of transitioning from "needing" a divorce to "wanting" one, explaining that the latter comes from a place of self-awareness and healing. He discusses the importance of reframing divorce as a reset, especially for fathers, where co-parenting becomes the central relationship. Avi stresses the need for men to embrace their role as co-parents, respecting their ex-spouses as the mother of their children, and even providing continued support post-divorce.

Drawing on religious philosophy, Avi explains how conflict resolution is at the heart of religion and human growth. He shares powerful ideas about personal accountability, forgiveness, and creating boundaries for oneself rather than imposing them on others. Avi argues that men should learn to accept and even want the situation they’re in, as this is key to navigating conflict successfully and fostering healthier relationships post-divorce.

The conversation also touches on the destructive nature of child custody battles and the necessity of shielding children from parental conflict. Avi advocates for "romantic divorces," where civility and mutual respect replace litigation, saving both financial and emotional costs. Through storytelling and philosophical insights, Avi provides a thoughtful roadmap for men to heal, grow, and redefine themselves after divorce.

It was refreshing to interview Avi, for he does not conform to the traditional mediation and conflict resolution constructs. Wow! Interesting!

10 Most Important Points:

1. Divorce should be seen as a healing opportunity, transitioning from "needing" to "wanting" it.

2. Fathers and mothers cannot truly “divorce” if they share children; instead, they must restructure their relationship as co-parents.

3. Men should embrace their role as co-parents and aim to support their ex-spouses, even post-divorce.

4. Religious philosophy teaches that conflict resolution is essential for personal growth.

5. Boundaries should be created for oneself, not imposed on others, as they are subjective.

6. Conflict is necessary for growth and can lead to innovative solutions when handled constructively.

7. Shielding children from parental conflict is critical; child custody battles cause deep harm and should be avoided.

8. Litigating divorce and fighting through court systems often exacerbates pain and prevents healing.

9. Forgiveness—of oneself and one’s ex-spouse—is key to moving forward and finding peace.

10. Marriage should be approached with the understanding that it could fail, and one should only marry someone they could also divorce amicably.

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In this episode of the "Don't The Scab Podcast”, host David connects with Jon Emery, a single father of two who transformed his life after divorce and job loss. Jon shares his inspiring journey of resilience and self-discovery, offering valuable insights for men over 40 navigating similar challenges. After losing his job of 20 years and going through a painful divorce, Jon chose to rebuild his life by focusing on personal growth, community, and eventually launching a successful podcast.

Jon credits podcasting as a transformative tool, which not only helped him process his emotions but also allowed him to connect with a global audience and build meaningful relationships. He emphasizes the importance of reaching out for support, finding a community, and engaging in self-care—two areas where men often struggle. Jon recalls how joining a men’s group and taking a masculinity course helped him develop emotional resilience and communicate more effectively.

Jon also discusses the challenges of co-parenting, admitting it’s not easy but manageable when the focus remains on the children. He highlights how he redefined success by prioritizing emotional, mental, and physical well-being. This included establishing a morning routine, exercising regularly, and exploring his spirituality through prayer and church. Podcasting, in particular, gave him purpose and a platform to grow and share his journey with others.

Throughout the conversation, Jon acknowledges that healing and self-improvement take time, but the effort pays off in creating a better version of oneself. His message is clear: divorce can be an opportunity for growth, and men should embrace the journey, seek help, and never give up on becoming their best selves.

10 Most Important Points:

1. Community and Support: Jon stresses the importance of connecting with other men to navigate the struggles of divorce and emotional challenges.

2. Self-Care: Emotional and mental well-being are essential for recovery. Jon recommends letting emotions out and working through them constructively.

3. Morning Routine: Jon’s daily routine includes gratitude journaling, prayer, and motivational content, all of which helped him find balance.

4. Physical Health: Regular exercise and hiring a fitness trainer helped Jon regain strength and confidence.

5. Podcasting as a Tool: Podcasting became a transformative outlet for Jon, enabling him to share and learn from others’ experiences.

6. Redefining Success: For Jon, success now means being the best version of himself emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

7. Co-Parenting Challenges: While co-parenting can be difficult, Jon prioritizes his children’s well-being and maintains boundaries with his ex.

8. The Power of Forgiveness: Although Jon didn’t directly pursue forgiveness, he emphasizes letting go of resentment to move forward.

9. Personal Growth Through Adversity: Jon sees divorce and job loss as opportunities for self-improvement and building a better life.

10. Networking and Relationships: Building relationships through podcasting and events has been key to Jon’s personal and professional growth.

Places to find Jon:

Facebook

YouTube

Instagam

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