In this podcast episode, host David interviews Jeff Luther, a former ultra-runner and CrossFit athlete, who shares his journey of resilience and recovery after a life-altering cardiac event and subsequent divorce. Jeff recounts his near-death experience in a CrossFit gym, where he suffered sudden cardiac death in front of his 16-year-old son, was revived with a defibrillator, and diagnosed with a rare heart condition, ARVC, which prohibits strenuous exercise. On top of this, Jeff faced the emotional toll of a divorce, leaving him in a dark place filled with bitterness and despair.

Jeff candidly discusses how his identity, once tied to his athleticism and role as a father, had to be redefined. His bitterness transformed when he realized the importance of his response to challenges—especially for his three sons, who were watching him navigate these hardships. He adopted a strategy of “30 seconds,” focusing on small, manageable moments to rebuild his physical and emotional health. This mindset allowed him to find gratitude, achieve incremental wins, and reclaim his sense of purpose.

The discussion expands to co-parenting, where Jeff emphasizes the goal of prioritizing children’s happiness over conflicts with an ex-spouse. He also highlights the value of community, sharing how attending a divorce support group helped him combat loneliness and find hope. Ultimately, Jeff’s story is a testament to resilience, deep self-reflection, and finding strength in vulnerability, offering inspiration for men over 40 facing similar challenges in life and divorce recovery.

10 Most Important Points from the Podcast Transcript:

1. Sudden Cardiac Event and Diagnosis:

2. Jeff Luther experienced sudden cardiac death while working out in a CrossFit gym with his 16-year-old son. He was revived after several minutes and later diagnosed with ARVC (Arrhythmogenic Right Ventricular Cardiomyopathy), a rare heart condition exacerbated by exercise. This diagnosis forced him to completely reassess his identity as an athlete.

3. Emotional Toll of Divorce and Heart Condition:

4. Simultaneously dealing with his heart condition and a divorce plunged Jeff into a deep emotional struggle. He admitted to feelings of bitterness, anger, and despair, questioning why such events happened despite living a healthy lifestyle.

5. Bitterness and Transformation:

6. Jeff initially struggled with bitterness, feeling like a victim of his circumstances. However, he realized that people cared more about how he responded to challenges than the challenges themselves. This realization motivated him to change his mindset, especially for the sake of his three sons who were closely observing his actions.

7. "30 Seconds" Strategy for Recovery:

8. Jeff adopted a "30 seconds at a time" approach to regain control of his life. This method involved breaking tasks into manageable moments, celebrating small wins, and focusing on incremental progress. It became a foundational strategy for his physical and emotional recovery.

9. Finding Gratitude and Perspective:

10. Jeff shifted his focus from what he lost to appreciating what he still had. He practiced gratitude, even for small things, which helped him reframe his mindset and find joy amidst adversity.

Jeff on Instagram

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In this episode of Don't Pick the Scab Podcast, host David interviews Derek Hoffman, co-founder of Ignite Performance and Health, a company revolutionizing the hormone replacement, weight loss, and fitness industries. The discussion centers on helping men over 40, particularly those recovering from divorce, regain control of their physical and mental health. Derek shares his personal journey, including his experience with testosterone replacement therapy (TRT), and how it inspired him to create a medically directed, care-based model for sustainable health transformations.

Derek emphasizes the challenges men face post-divorce, such as neglecting self-care, physical decline, and emotional struggles. He explains how Ignite Performance and Health combines hormone therapy, nutrition, and strength training to help men achieve life-changing results. The program focuses on personalized care, including regular blood work, tailored nutrition plans, and strength training to build muscle and confidence. Derek also debunks common misconceptions about TRT, such as "roid rage" and fertility issues, and highlights the importance of proper nutrition and exercise for long-term health.

The episode concludes with Derek encouraging men to prioritize their health and take advantage of the free resources available on Ignite's website. His ultimate goal is to help men feel confident, strong, and ready to tackle life with a "strut in their step."

10 Important Points:

1. Self-Care for Men Over 40: Men often neglect their health, prioritizing work, family, and community, which leads to physical and mental struggles.

2. Challenges Post-Divorce: Divorce can exacerbate health issues, making it crucial for men to focus on self-care and recovery.

3. Ignite Performance and Health: A medically directed program combining hormone therapy, nutrition, and fitness to transform lives in six months.

4. Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT): Properly managed TRT can improve energy, recovery, and confidence without harmful side effects.

5. Misconceptions About TRT: Myths like "roid rage" and infertility are debunked; TRT, when done ethically, is safe and effective.

6. Importance of Nutrition: Nutrition is more critical than exercise or medication; personalized plans ensure sustainable results.

7. Weight Loss vs. Fat Loss: Weight loss alone is not the goal; maintaining muscle mass and reducing fat is key to looking and feeling better.

8. Strength Training for Longevity: Building muscle improves physical health, mental well-being, and confidence, especially as men age.

9. Personalized Care: Regular blood work, tailored nutrition, and customized fitness plans ensure safe and effective results.

10. Free Resources for Men: Ignite offers free guides and information to educate men about health and fitness.

Derek's Website

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In this episode of the "Don't Pick the Scab" podcast, Cody Butler, an Australian author and coach, discusses his RISE formula (Reveal, Interrupt, Shift, Empower) as a tool to help men overcome trauma, particularly after divorce. Drawing from his personal experiences of failure, loss, and emotional struggles, Cody shares how he transformed his negative belief systems to achieve personal growth and happiness. He emphasizes the importance of identifying limiting beliefs, changing thought patterns, and adopting constructive philosophies to live a fulfilling life.

Cody explains that many people struggle with unrealistic expectations and mental traps that perpetuate feelings of failure and unhappiness. He highlights the role of self-awareness, accountability, and community support in breaking free from these cycles. Furthermore, he underscores the connection between purpose and pain, suggesting that personal struggles can often lead to meaningful contributions to the world.

The episode concludes with Cody encouraging listeners to embrace self-compassion, focus on gratitude, and shift their mindset from survival to thriving.

10 Key Points from the Episode

1. The RISE Formula: Cody's method involves revealing unconscious beliefs, interrupting negative patterns, shifting perspectives, and empowering new behaviors.

2. Impact of Childhood Beliefs: Cody shares how a childhood remark from his father ("You don't deserve nice things") shaped his self-worth and led to repeated failures until he addressed it.

3. Happiness and Expectations: Unrealistic and unmet expectations are a primary source of unhappiness. Adjusting expectations to be realistic is crucial.

4. Mental Traps: Common mental traps include focusing on "getting through" situations rather than "getting something from" them. Shifting to a growth-oriented mindset is transformative.

5. Control Your Response: While external circumstances are often beyond control, individuals can always control their response and attitude toward them.

6. Community and Accountability: Healing and personal growth are significantly more successful when supported by a community or accountability group (as evidenced by the "Change or Die" study).

7. Trauma Fuels Purpose: Personal struggles and pain often lead to discovering one’s purpose, as they allow individuals to connect with and help others in similar situations.

8. Self-Compassion: Being kind to oneself is essential for overcoming anxiety, stress, and depression. It helps foster confidence and purpose.

9. Daily Gratitude: Practicing gratitude daily, even for small things, shifts focus away from negativity and promotes a positive mindset.

10. Behavior Drives Change: Talking about problems can provide temporary relief, but real transformation comes from adopting new behaviors and attitudes.

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The podcast episode features David Rosenthal, a divorced, remarried former rabbi and relationship coach, who shares his deeply personal journey through divorce and his strategies for helping men over 40 recover from similar experiences. David discusses the challenges he faced during his 16-year marriage, the amicable yet difficult separation process, and how his faith helped him grow emotionally and spiritually. He emphasizes the importance of emotional regulation, self-compassion, and self-care in the healing process while providing actionable advice for co-parenting, managing emotions, and rediscovering personal identity after divorce. Drawing on his experience as a rabbi and coach, David also explains how he helps clients navigate their individual paths without imposing his own beliefs.

David shares practical tips for co-parenting five children, focusing on maintaining harmony for the sake of the children while keeping personal emotions in check. He stresses the importance of prioritizing self-care, such as sleep, exercise, and nutrition, and talks about how men can rebuild themselves by reconnecting with their inner desires and interests. Additionally, he highlights self-compassion's role in overcoming guilt and shame and offers insights into regulating emotions through mindfulness and perspective shifts.

The episode concludes with David providing his contact information and encouraging listeners to connect with him for coaching advice while the host expresses gratitude for the enlightening conversation.

10 Key Points from the Script

1. David's Divorce Journey: Married for 16 years with five children, David experienced an amicable but emotionally taxing divorce and used counseling to navigate the separation.

2. Faith's Role in Healing: As a former rabbi, David leaned on his faith to guide him through the emotional pain of divorce, deepening his spiritual connection in the process.

3. Co-Parenting Philosophy: David shares strategies for maintaining a child-focused approach in co-parenting, avoiding vindictive behavior, and fostering a positive environment for the kids.

4. Self-Care Essentials: He emphasizes the importance of sleep, exercise, and nutrition as the foundational pillars of self-care.

5. Rediscovering Identity: Divorce offers an opportunity to rediscover personal interests, desires, and hobbies that may have been suppressed during the marriage.

6. Emotional Regulation: David teaches clients to acknowledge and process emotions like anger and sadness without judgment, using mindfulness and perspective shifts to manage them effectively.

7. Self-Compassion: Recognizing and accepting one's own imperfections without self-criticism is crucial for healing and personal growth.

8. Healing Through Perspective: David encourages clients to step back emotionally, akin to observing oneself from a higher perspective, to regulate overwhelming feelings.

9. Challenges of Single Parenting: Balancing responsibilities and managing emotional waves when transitioning between parenting and alone time is a significant challenge for single fathers.

10. Advice for Struggling Fathers: For fathers dealing with alienation or strained relationships with their children, David advises focusing on self-healing and self-improvement to transform the dynamic.

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In this particular episode of Don’t Pick the Scab Podcast, David welcomed Olivier Mankondo, a speaker, author, and wellness coach specializing in plant-based nutrition. Olivier shared his remarkable journey of transforming his life through diet and how it has significantly improved his physical, mental, and emotional health. David explored Olivier’s story with his audience, focusing on how his experiences could help men over 40 recover from divorce and regain control of their lives.

Olivier explained how an Indian yogi inspired him to try removing animal products from his diet. By going “cold turkey,” he reversed his high blood pressure in four months and shed 77 pounds in nine months. He shared how his life transformed, becoming disease-free for over eight years. David was particularly impressed by Olivier’s youthful appearance at 54 and his ability to maintain energy levels comparable to someone in their 20s.

10 Key Points from the Podcast

1. Introduction of Olivier Mankondo – A wellness coach and advocate for plant-based nutrition who transformed his life through dietary changes.

2. Life Before the Transition – Olivier suffered from obesity, high blood pressure, chronic pain, and fatigue due to unhealthy eating habits.

3. Turning Point – Inspired by an Indian yogi, he adopted a plant-based diet and reversed his chronic illnesses.

4. Health Transformation – Lost 77 pounds in nine months, normalized blood pressure, and became disease-free for over eight years.

5. Challenges in Transition – Faced unsupportive friends and family, but his determination kept him on track.

6. Misconceptions About Plant-Based Diets – Olivier debunked myths about protein deficiency and weakness, emphasizing the energy and strength a plant-based lifestyle provides.

7. Gradual Transition Advice – Suggested easing into a plant-based diet to avoid detox symptoms and ensure sustainability.

8. Improved Relationships – His health journey strengthened his bonds with his wife and children, improving overall family dynamics.

9. Coaching Challenges – Helped clients overcome mindset barriers and lack of supportive communities during their wellness journeys.

10. Ultimate Goal – Olivier aims to show people that aging doesn’t have to mean sickness and that a healthy lifestyle can lead to a disease-free, energized life.
    

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https://oliviermankondo.com

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E : olivier@oliviermankondo.com

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In this episode of Don't Pick the Scab Podcast, host David interviews Ryan Christensen, a professional hypnotist, military veteran, and author of Winter Peace: How to End Inner Conflict and Make Success Inevitable. Ryan shares his journey of overcoming autism, bipolar disorder, and a life of emotional struggles to become a guide for others dealing with deep-seated mental and emotional challenges. Drawing from his own experiences, Ryan explains how men over 40 recovering from divorce can rewrite their past narratives, challenge self-blame, and embrace self-acceptance.

Ryan emphasizes the power of the subconscious mind in healing and success. He discusses how divorce often leads men to blame themselves, but reframing these experiences and understanding emotions as survival signals—not wounds—can lead to transformation. He shares insights on recognizing small victories, reframing beliefs about love and relationships, and shifting from societal expectations to genuine personal growth.

Listeners will learn about the concepts of "the cage" and "the treadmill," common traps that hinder men's progress, and how to cultivate curiosity instead of judgment during tough moments. Ryan also highlights the importance of self-care, reclaiming self-worth, and accepting one’s imperfections to move forward. This episode is packed with actionable advice, offering divorced men a roadmap to healing and rediscovery.

10 Important Topics Covered in the Podcast:

1. Reframing Past Experiences: How rewriting the meaning of past events helps men recovering from divorce redefine themselves and move forward.

2. Self-Blame and Divorce: Why men often blame themselves for failed marriages and how to shift that mindset.

3. The Role of Subconscious Beliefs: How deep-seated beliefs about self-worth influence emotional responses and relationship outcomes.

4. Emotions as Survival Signals: Viewing anger, grief, and sadness as signals asking for help rather than wounds to "heal."

5. Recognizing Small Wins: The importance of celebrating survival and small victories as steps toward personal growth.

6. The Cage vs. The Treadmill: Understanding these metaphors for feeling trapped by societal expectations or past pain.

7. Curiosity vs. Judgment: How cultivating curiosity can help men approach emotions and challenges with openness and growth.

8. Self-Worth and Deservedness: How men can stop questioning their inherent worth and focus on what they truly want from life.

9. Redefining Love and Relationships: The importance of self-love and reframing beliefs about love after a divorce.

10. Practical Steps for Emotional Growth: Strategies like seeking external perspectives, embracing forgiveness, and redefining masculinity for personal development.
    

Ryan’s Main Website

Ryan on YouTube

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In this engaging episode of Don't Pick The Scab Podcast, host David sits down with Michael Read, a men’s coach and creator of The Adaptive Male YouTube channel. Michael specializes in helping men understand healthy masculinity by exploring the intersections of science, psychology, history, and culture. Together, they dive deep into how men over 40 can heal from divorce by reclaiming their sense of purpose, rebuilding their identity, and navigating emotions in a healthy way.

Michael explains how societal expectations and "nice guy syndrome" often lead men to neglect self-care, making it crucial for men to prioritize their well-being and emotional health. He highlights the importance of moving past toxic masculinity narratives, embracing emotional expression, and fostering healthy masculinity based on self-regulation and authenticity. Michael also introduces concepts like "emotional language" and the "shadow self," helping men better understand their feelings and behaviors.

The discussion touches on the unique challenges divorced men face, including the loss of identity, purpose, and self-worth. Michael offers actionable strategies for men to rebuild their lives by engaging in self-care, finding purpose outside of relationships, and fostering connections with other men. He also discusses the evolving role of masculinity across different life stages and how co-parenting can be an opportunity to demonstrate healthy masculinity to children. This episode is packed with insights and practical advice for men seeking to heal and thrive after divorce.

10 Important Topics Covered in the Podcast:

1. The Algorithm of Behavior: Understanding how childhood experiences shape adult behaviors and reactions, and how to reprogram these patterns.

2. Emotional Language: Teaching men to reconnect with their emotions by recognizing physical sensations and associating them with emotional experiences.

3. Toxic vs. Healthy Masculinity: Exploring the differences between toxic traits and healthy masculine qualities, such as emotional regulation and authenticity.

4. Nice Guy Syndrome: Examining how trying to please others at the expense of oneself can lead to relationship breakdowns and self-neglect.

5. The Shadow Self: Carl Jung’s concept of the shadow self, where suppressed parts of our personality resurface in unhealthy ways if left unaddressed.

6. Self-Care for Men: Emphasizing the importance of prioritizing self-care to avoid burnout and foster healthier relationships.

7. Rebuilding Identity After Divorce: Helping men rediscover their sense of purpose and self-worth by separating their identity from a failed relationship.

8. Emotional Numbness in Men: Addressing the phenomenon of emotional disconnection and its physical and psychological consequences.

9. Masculinity Across Life Stages: Examining how men’s roles and perceptions of masculinity evolve with age, from physical strength to wisdom and guidance.

10. Co-Parenting with Masculinity: Using healthy masculinity to be a positive parental role model while navigating the challenges of co-parenting post-divorce.

Michael’s YouTube Channel - The Adaptive Male

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Welcome to "Don't Pick the Scab Podcast", the safe space for men over 40 navigating the emotional terrain of divorce recovery. I'm your host, David, here to guide you toward healing, growth, and rediscovery. Divorce can leave wounds, but here, we focus on healing one layer at a time—without reopening the scab. Whether you're struggling to move forward, wondering how to rebuild your life, or simply looking for tools to thrive post-divorce, this is your tribe.

Today, we have an extraordinary guest, Junie Moon, a transformational love coach and empowerment leader. Junie is an expert in helping people heal toxic relationship patterns, uncover blind spots, and create the love life they truly desire. She’s passionate about guiding men and women through the complexities of relationships and helping them embrace healthy, next-level love.

In this episode, we’ll dive into the importance of self-care, rebuilding self-confidence, setting boundaries, and breaking free from destructive patterns.

Junie will also share powerful insights from her expertise in shadow work, helping you uncover the hidden beliefs that keep you stuck.

So grab a cup of coffee, sit back, and prepare to be inspired. Remember, healing is a journey, not a destination. You’re not alone, and together we’re going to help you rediscover the best version of yourself. Welcome to the Don't Pick the Scab Podcast. Let’s get started.

10 Important Points Junie Moon Presented:

1. The Importance of Self-Care: Men often neglect self-care, but proper rest, good nutrition, and surrounding yourself with supportive people are crucial for healing and thriving.

2. Unpacking the Past: Taking time to reflect on past relationships and patterns is vital before moving into new relationships. Jumping into the next chapter without healing can lead to repeating cycles.

3. Beliefs About Women and Relationships: Many beliefs about women—such as “women only want money” or “women bring drama”—stem from past experiences and societal conditioning. Breaking these beliefs is key to healthier relationships.

4. Listening Over Fixing: Women don’t always want solutions; they often just want to be heard. Learning how to hold space and listen without jumping to fix things can strengthen communication and connection.

5. The Role of Boundaries: Setting clear boundaries is essential for healthy relationships. Knowing what you want and what you will accept helps you communicate effectively and avoid being taken advantage of.

6. Healing Blind Spots with Shadow Work: Unresolved issues from childhood or past relationships often influence current relationship choices. Shadow work helps uncover and heal these hidden patterns.

7. Avoiding the Fixer Mindset: Men and women often fall into the trap of finding a “project” to fix in a partner. This stems from insecurity or a need to feel valuable, but it leads to unhealthy dynamics.

8. The Power of Self-Confidence: Divorce often shatters self-confidence. Rebuilding it comes from trying new things, believing in yourself, and creating a vision for the future that aligns with your values.

9. The Magnet of Repeating Patterns: Without healing, people unconsciously attract partners who reflect unresolved issues. Growth requires breaking free from these patterns by addressing the root causes.

10. Seeking Support: Healing is not a solo journey. Whether through coaches, therapists, or shadow work practitioners, having someone to guide you can accelerate progress and help you create healthier relationships.

Junie’s Website

Junie’s Free Consultation

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