In this episode hosts Kendra and Dr. Ryan Hewitt celebrate their 20th episode of the Weaponized Marriage Podcast by diving into one of the most important and under-discussed truths of marriage: the profound connection between sex and money.

After nearly a year of weekly therapy, a shift in their sessions unearthed something that might be the next frontier of vulnerability for many couples. Their therapist Steven revealed that most relational challenges stem from two core symbols in marriage, sex and money, and while they’d spent a year working on sexual intimacy, they were only now stepping into the equally intimate, and often unconscious, world of financial vulnerability.

Kendra opens up about the origin of her money blueprint, how the trauma of losing her dad young shaped her deep need for control over finances, and how that need unconsciously distanced her from Dr. Ryan. Dr. Ryan shares how not being included in financial decisions impacted his identity as a provider and leader. Together, they reflect on how avoiding financial transparency can become just as damaging to emotional and sexual connection as any bedroom issue.

Their conversation is equal parts humorous, honest, and hard-hitting as they explore:

🔑 Key Takeaways:

• There are two powerful, symbolic forces in marriage: sex and money. Most conflicts, direct or indirect, stem from them.
  

• Every person brings a unique money blueprint into marriage, often shaped by trauma, modeling, or scarcity mindsets.
  

• Avoidance of financial conversations is often rooted in shame, fear, or control, and it silently erodes connection.
  

• Financial responsibility doesn’t equal financial intimacy. Shared vision requires shared decisions.
  

• Sex and money are deeply intertwined, especially when roles blur, unspoken expectations build, and resentment festers.
  

• Masculine identity is often tied to provision and productivity, while feminine security is connected to shared vision and trust.
  

• Creating micro-habits around financial connection (like shared spending journals or scheduled money dates) helps build trust and unity over time.
  

• The couple’s sex life improved as they got emotionally honest, first with sex, now with money.
  

• Surrender, safety, and leadership are key dynamics, for him to lead well, and for her to trust and receive.
  

What is one small conversation you’re avoiding in your marriage, either around sex or money? Write it down, name the fear behind it, and take one step toward scheduling that conversation.

👉 If this episode challenged you, moved you, or gave you language for what you’ve been feeling, share it with a friend, leave a review, and subscribe so you don’t miss next week’s deep dive.

“If you’re relying solely on the 4% withdrawal rule, you’re taking a massive risk, especially with early retirement.”

Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kendra.hewitt/

Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:

Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website: https://www.drryanhewitt.com/

In this heartfelt and energetic episode of the Weaponized Marriage Podcast, Dr. Ryan and Kendra Hewitt reflect on their recent kid-free trip to Spain and why building fun into your marriage is essential at every stage. Sharing stories from their Mediterranean wedding adventure, cultural insights, and a few laugh-out-loud moments, the Hewitts dive deep into how travel, spontaneity, and breaking routine can breathe life back into a relationship.

From dancing until 4 a.m. at a multilingual wedding to rediscovering how rest doesn't always mean relaxation, Dr. Ryan and Kendra explore how stepping outside your daily patterns helps you see each other, and yourself, more clearly. Kendra shares raw reflections on how her younger self used to define success and how travel gave her fresh perspective. Dr. Ryan unpacks what happens when you take a break from your normal rhythm and discover what’s actually serving your marriage… and what’s not.

They also touch on:

• How fitness and health enable meaningful shared experiences as you age
  

• The difference between a trip and a vacation (and why both matter)
  

• Why waiting for the “right time” might mean never making memories at all
  

• How even small getaways can spark deeper conversations, creativity, and connection

Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kendra.hewitt/

Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:

Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website: https://www.drryanhewitt.com/

In this episode of The Weaponized Marriage Podcast, Dr. Ryan and Kendra Hewitt unpack the real rhythms, decisions, and priorities behind staying physically fit as a married couple in their 40s. They go beyond “five health tips” and talk about real-life: busy schedules, hormonal shifts, sex, energy, parenting, and what it actually takes to build a strong body and stronger partnership.

Dr. Ryan shares his expertise on fitness programming, training pyramids, and strength-based longevity, while Kendra opens up about her evolving approach to nutrition, metabolism, and the emotional labor women face. Together, they talk about how they’ve aligned their values, schedules, and environments to support each other in health, without losing intimacy, connection, or joy.

Key Takeaways:

• Couples who train together, stay together. It starts with respecting and planning each other’s fitness time.
  

• Strength training is non-negotiable for long-term energy, metabolism, and sex drive.
  

• Meal prep and macros aren’t militant: they’re marriage tools that foster teamwork and sustainability.
  

• Sleep, scheduling, and alcohol boundaries matter more than willpower.
  

“If you want to go the distance in your marriage, train like it.”

Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kendra.hewitt/

Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:

Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website: https://www.drryanhewitt.com/

Many women carry silent resentment in marriage, not because they want control, but because they’ve had to take it. In this episode of The Weaponized Marriage, Dr. Ryan and Kendra Hewitt unpack a viral Instagram post that ignited deep conversation around polarity, leadership, resentment, and emotional safety in relationships.

They explore why so many women feel exhausted, unseen, and emotionally starved, and how men can unintentionally contribute to their wives' disconnection, not through malice, but by abdicating leadership in key areas like emotional presence, household dynamics, and communication. This episode doesn’t just diagnose the problem, it offers insight into how couples can rebuild trust, shift roles, and co-create a vision for their marriage.

Key Takeaways:

• Emotional neglect can show up in subtle but destructive ways, often mistaken for disinterest or burnout.
  

• Men must take ownership of leadership in faith, family, fitness, and finances to create safety and polarity.
  

• Women often don't want to lead, they're just tired of doing it alone.
  

• Simple, consistent actions, not grand gestures, build connection and trust.
  

Ready to stop reacting and start rebuilding? Share this episode and subscribe for more real, unfiltered conversations about marriage, intimacy, and purpose.

"You can’t feed a woman neglect and expect her to glow. You either nurture her soul or watch her disappear." – Kendra Hewitt

Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:

Instagram

Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website

In this episode of The Weaponized Marriage Podcast, Kendra and Ryan Hewitt dive into two of the most damaging patterns in marriage: resentment and reactivity. Why do women tend to harbor resentment while men lean into reactivity? And how do these hidden dynamics quietly sabotage connection, intimacy, and trust? Sharing personal stories—from missed lunches to deeper wounds—they unpack how old patterns creep into everyday moments and what it takes to break free. Whether you're keeping score or struggling to control your reactions, this episode will open your eyes to new ways of showing up in your marriage with freedom, grace, and strength.

Key Takeaways:

• Why resentment builds silently (especially for women)
  

• How reactivity masks deeper wounds (especially for men)
  

• What the "tit-for-tat" trap looks like—and how to get out of it
  

• The power of recognition and ownership in stopping toxic cycles
  

• How small shifts (like gratitude and acknowledgment) change everything
  

• Practical ways to step into a new operating system for your marriage

"Men tend to react. Women tend to resent. Either way, you’re stuck in a cycle until you both get honest."

Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:

Instagram

Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website

In today’s heartfelt conversation, Kendra and Dr. Ryan Hewitt share a story they’ve never fully told before; their unexpected journey back to church, back to God, and deeper into their marriage. Sparked by an emotional Easter weekend and a powerful message about "looking up," they reflect on how reconnecting with faith shifted the foundation of their relationship. From the profound experience of being baptized together to learning how to stop forcing outcomes and start trusting God’s timing, Kendra and Dr. Ryan open up vulnerably about anger, healing, personal growth, and the power of spiritual intimacy. Whether you’re married, dating, or simply seeking a deeper connection with God, this episode offers encouragement for building a marriage that looks up before it looks around.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• How a spontaneous baptism changed the trajectory of their marriage
  

• Why "looking up" instead of "looking backward, sideways, or forward" can transform your relationship
  

• The emotional undercurrents behind drifting from and returning to faith
  

• How integrating personal responsibility with God's leadership deepens marital intimacy
  

• Why true healing in marriage starts with looking inward and upward, not outward

"Church isn’t just a place you go — it’s the posture of your heart."

Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:

Instagram

Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website

In this episode of The Weaponized Marriage Podcast, hosts Dr. Ryan and Kendra Hewitt dive into a thought-provoking discussion sparked by a recent church sermon on the Sermon on the Mount, focusing on the complex topic of lust. With humor, vulnerability, and real-life anecdotes, they explore how lust, attraction, and sexual energy impact marriages, drawing from their own experiences to offer practical insights for couples. From addressing the stigma around sex in Christian culture to unpacking the emotional and physical dimensions of lust, Dr. Ryan and Kendra tackle how to channel energy back into your relationship and avoid the silent drift that can erode intimacy. They share hard-earned lessons about confronting tough truths, cleaning up social media feeds, and fostering open communication to protect the sacred bond of marriage.

Key Takeaways:

1. Distinguish Between Attraction and Lust: Noticing beauty is natural, but lust involves pursuing or fantasizing about someone other than your spouse, which can divert emotional and sexual energy from your marriage.

2. Protect Your Energy: Be mindful of where you’re directing your attention—whether it’s social media, porn, or flirtatious interactions—and redirect that energy toward your spouse to strengthen intimacy.

3. Honesty is the Foundation: Small lies, like secret habits or minimized behaviors, can lead to disconnection. Transparency, even in tough conversations, is crucial for rebuilding trust and closeness.

4. Courageous Communication: Confronting issues like drifting energy or unmet needs requires vulnerability and a safe space within the marriage, but it’s often the gateway to breakthroughs.

5. The Phone Test: If you can’t leave your phone out without worrying about what your spouse might see, it’s a red flag that you’re hiding something that could harm your relationship.

This episode is a must-listen for couples seeking to deepen their connection, navigate cultural pressures, and build a marriage grounded in truth and mutual respect.

“A mentally and emotionally healthy woman will feel when you are looking at other women lustfully versus appreciation of their attraction, and a woman also knows when you’re starting to walk down the path from lust to pursuing lust."

Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:

Instagram

Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website

In this episode of the Weaponized Marriage Podcast, Dr. Ryan and Kendra Hewitt dive into what it means to parent with intention—and how that journey forces you to confront your own childhood, unhealed emotional wounds, and reactivity patterns. This one’s for you whether you’re knee-deep in diapers or raising teenagers… or even if you don’t have kids, but you're realizing you still need to reparent yourself.

Dr. Ryan opens up about the unexpected emotional chaos triggered by fatherhood, while Kendra shares a moving story of emotional regulation with their daughter Lily that reveals how generational patterns show up in real time. Together, they discuss:

• Why parenting is one of the most powerful mirrors for healing your inner child
  

• How reactivity differs from healthy response—and what to do when your kid triggers your past
  

• The power of family meetings and “parenting on purpose” conversations
  

• Tools for emotional regulation, including routines, breathwork, and core grounding practices
  

• How to unify as a couple and parent from a place of alignment, not default
  

This episode is filled with real-life examples of what it looks like to grow yourself while raising someone else. Whether you're reparenting yourself, learning to co-parent better with your spouse, or simply trying to show up differently for your kids, this one hits deep.

“Children aren’t behavior problems—they’re mirrors revealing where we need healing.”

Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:

Instagram

Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:

Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website