Each moment the attention looks to the outer world - for safety, security, comfort, love, affection, stability, peace - we lose an opportunity to rely upon our own essence.

All of these things are within us.

Breathe deeply.

Look inside.

Connect with yourself.

There is no difference between this leap of uncertainty and all the previous leaps into the unknown you have made.

With feet on firm ground and no true idea of what comes next, you jump.

Anxiety.

Panic Attacks.

Waves of paranoid thinking.

Fear obliterating my ability to think clearly.

My heart is beating out of my chest.

All happiness feels far away.

My palms begin to sweat.

Instead, the breath allows me to approach the parts of myself that are the most hurt, and need the most care with an open heart.

When there is no trust, fear is present.

While fear dominates, love can feel out of reach.

By connecting to the breath and communicating with the body to nudge one's posture towards an upright, loose, and gentle seated position, all of the negative emotions trapped within the body can flow.

When we curl up due to sadness, it is like leaning over to catch our breath after a hard run.

While it may feel good and natural to place the hands on the knees and bend at the hips as you gasp for breath after a particularly hard run, this hurts the ability to breath.

Standing up straight may not feel as good, but the oxygen which the body needs will be able to enter more easily and the carbon dioxide can be expelled more easily.

The natural and comfortable approach to handle challenges is often not what is best for us.

Trust your intuition.

Listen to your body.

Follow your breath.

See you on the other side of this retreat.

Namaste,

Evan

To Face Myself In Ceremony

Two weeks from today I will be in the jungle.

For three days straight.

Why?

To sit in

* a tobacco purge

* a nighttime Ayahuasca ceremony

* a daytime Ayahuasca ceremony

I am nervous.

I am excited.

I am grateful.

May all beings have the opportunity to face themselves and grow.

Namaste

Evan

My friends and I sat outside at a cafe while we waited for our food.

A woman walked up to us.

She was somewhere in her seventies and walked with a rollator.

She began to share her story, saying that the police abused her at the bus stop the previous day

We walked back over towards the table with my friends, stopping in the exact spot six feet from them where she had stood before.

We hugged goodbye and she walked back in the direction she came from.

I sat back down with my friends.

"What happened?" They asked.

"Anger is terrible. She needed someone to listen to her. To hear her suffering. To give her space." I responded.

This is the gift we can give others.

To listen with an open heart and hold space.

I want to melt into a puddle.

No interest in doing anything.

No aspirations for the future.

No joy in the present.

It is funny how heavy the world can feel at times.

The more you feel gratitude, the greater your capacity for awe.

Awe is an uplifting state of being you can create space to let into your life with a little intention.

You do not need to make it to some breathtaking overlook after climbing a mountain.

It is right there alongside you in everyday experience.

Use gratitude to break out of the fantasy world.

To let the blissful state of awe visit you.

Every time you open to receive it.

The way we self-identity in conversatThe people, situations, and patterns you identify as restricting you from future growth do not have malintent.

Often where you feel the greatest internal resistance towards taking an action and making a change is where your true growth opportunity lies.

Trust in yourself.

Be courageous.

Pull off the old masks that no longer serve you.

To see a clear vision of your future self.

P.S. I published my first E-Book yesterday. Read it here.

Last Saturday I flew from Minorca, Spain to Zurich, Switzerland.

Like most of my recent flights, I was traveling with my flute.

Little did I know Vueling, the cheap airline I was using, was a stickler for people with long instruments.

My partner, a friend, and I got to the gate for our departure about 20 minutes before the gates closed.

To do my job and best represent the interests of my board - who want to know about potential negative environmental impact, but care more about capturing the electric vehical battery market - I push for the current mining plans to move forward.

I am doing my job. If my company does not move on the mining contract, another company will.

Who does this help?

Who does this hurt?

Each question is open ended and there is no single answer.

Some impacted people will have more representation than others.

Some groups will have no representation at all.

Today I arrived in San Francisco by train.

Within three minutes of being on the street I saw a man hunched over halfway in the crosswalk. I saw him as soon as I climbed into my Lyft, and we began driving to my destination.

We had a greenlight and the man was still standing in the middle of the crosswalk. As we drove past him, I looked at him as the traffic swerved around him.

This man is someone’s child.

If he were a child in age, then the responses of the people around him would probably be different.

For some reason, due to a person’s age, appearance, or behavior, we cease to include them under our umbrella of concern.

The next opportunity you have to serve someone in need:

Take it.