Not every episode needs to be loud to hit hard.

This week, I’m exploring the very first kink I ever recognized in myself, masochism. What draws someone to enjoy pain? Is it something to worry about, or something worth understanding on a deeper level? I’m breaking down common misconceptions, unpacking the psychology, and tackling the big question: is masochism a mental disorder, or just another way humans seek sensation, control, and connection?

It’s a slower, more thoughtful vibe, but worth every second.

Articles referenced: Definition How to Tell if I have Self Defeating Personality Disorder What is a Masochist.

In this episode of Unmasking Kink, we delve into the tension between authenticity and acceptability in the kink community. Inspired by insightful posts from FetLife users Tittan and Vampyre, we explore the implications of sanitizing BDSM for mainstream comfort.

We'll discuss personal boundaries, the importance of consent, and the value of embracing the raw, unfiltered aspects of kink.

Whether you're a seasoned player or new to the scene, this conversation invites you to reflect on the true essence of kink and the importance of preserving its integrity.

Featured FetLife Writers:

• Tittan – “When Kink Gets Tamed: The Dangers of Vanilla-fying BDSM”

• Vampyre – “BDSM Isn’t About Making Outsiders Comfortable”

You’ve probably asked yourself:

“Am I kinky? Or just curious?” “Does liking [insert thing here] make me into kink?” “Do I have to pick a side?”

The answers? Could be both, possibly, and absolutely not.

In this episode, I give my take on what it means to be kinky or vanilla, or somewhere in between. We’ll talk about how those labels aren’t fixed, what actually “counts” as kink, and how to start exploring.

Topics include:

• The difference between kink and vanilla

• Why “what counts as kink” depends on who you ask

• Where to look for real, respectful information

Whether you're seasoned, curious, or still figuring it out—you belong here.

Resources mentioned:

• FetLife: https://fetlife.com

• Chief’s Sex Menu: https://kinkyevents.co.uk/sex-menu

• Shibari on YouTube (my favorite video): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTnFlfm04uk

• Local classes and munches: Search via FetLife or reach out to event organizers

More: https://unmaskingkink.com

Description:

In this debut episode of Unmasking Kink, Nova Monroe breaks down what kink actually is—and what it isn’t. We talk about the difference between kink and BDSM, explore how kink doesn’t always have to be sexual, and tackle the question: Is this normal? (Spoiler: yes.) Whether you’re curious, questioning, or just here to learn, this episode gives you a shame-free, honest look at how broad and human kink really is.

Show Notes & Resources:

Articles & Resources Referenced:

• Healthline – What Is Kink?
• Business Insider – List of Kinks, According to Experts
• Verywell Mind – Understanding Sexual Kinks and Fetishes
• Kinkly – Kink Glossary & Psychology of Kink
• National Coalition for Sexual Freedom – https://www.ncsfreedom.org
• Focus on the Family – Sexual Behavior Outside of God’s Design
• Institute for Family Studies – Sexual Liberation Is Not Sexual Freedom
• Covenant Spice – Christian sex-positive resource: https://covenantspice.com

Connect with Nova:

Website: unmaskingkink.com

Submit questions, sources, or feedback via the contact form!

Welcome to Unmasking Kink! Let me start by introducing myself, and give you the low down on what to expect from Unmasking Kink and the community we're going to build together!

Unmasking Kink is a podcast for the curious, the kinky, and everyone in between.

Hosted by Nova Monroe, each episode explores real questions about kink, BDSM, and the lifestyle. Nova isn't an expert, but she's a proud research nerd, digging into topics so we can learn and grow together.

From vanilla to veteran, this space is for anyone who's ever felt left out, unsure or just plain curios.

Join Nova, and together, we'll unmask what kink is all about.