Don’t drink the water! Maya finds out too late that she shouldn’t drink the contaminated tap water in her 64 oz. tennis water jug. The water actually had a forced cell phone Amber Alert. Needless to say, she isn’t going far from home today. Amy recaps the Nelly concert after the Twins game. You can always count on Nelly! Amy can’t say a picture of the pitcher. Try it…it’s tough. Maya went to Summerfest in Milwaukee on the 4th of July. She’s never done something so not her. Long story short—she kicks it off with an interesting Uber ride, checks into a beautiful, haunted hotel, and dives headfirst into concerts at Milwaukee’s Summerfest. Maya does festival math. The lineup is stacked…Everclear, Oates (of Hall & Oats), Chicago, Frost Children, a random cover band, and Fountains of Wayne. Oates' arrangement of the song Maneater is wild! Why are people waiting in the world’s longest line for lemonade?!?!? Turns out Maya’s demographic is still old men. They love to talk to a "young gal". Also, we just want to have a hot dog at a festival, for Pete’s sake! After a lifetime of accommodating everyone, Amy finally puts her foot down and advocates for herself! Public Service Announcement: Just Listen to Chelsea Handler’s Book, I’ll Have What She’s Having. It’s a love letter to every woman. Finally, bring back the free summer concerts!

Amy went to Florida…AGAIN! She captained her own boat! Maya’s sister Melissa scored tickets to Dolly Parton’s residency in Las Vegas. DOLLY! Maya is amazed at how amazing Susan Sarandon looks in the movie Nonnas. Amy has a new dog sitter, Roger. It’s complicated. Highlight? Butt dial from Roger! The ladies review their lives in dog years. Just a reminder, Maya isn’t sentimental. Amy raw-dogs cable on vacation, and it was awful. Amy isn’t having The Cornhole Championship. Cornhole doesn’t bring Maya joy. Gen Z is not ok…but were we ok at that age? Maya reviews Chelsea Handler’s new book, I’ll Have What She’s Having. Chelsea Handler…Can We Be Friends? Approved/Denied: Bare Beating. Also, a canceled flight isn’t the end of the world.

Maya has a Hollywood Chrises mix-up disclaimer up top. Then, the ladies kick off the ep. with a tribute to Regulate by Warren G. Amy is going to Florida AGAIN. Amy is constantly in Florida. Also…a woman can’t be president!?!?! Who do you think makes all the decisions? Amy has a cat encounter at a Starbucks. Amy reviews the Miley Cyrus visual album Something Beautiful. Amy also reviews The Materialists. The ladies are literally talking about two different Chrises. Amy is not having Dakota Johnson. Summary: It’s not a romcom; it’s trying to be a drama, but there is nothing to be dramatic about. Also, leg lengthening surgery is a major plot point? Animal Report: Zebra loose in Tennessee. Approved/Denied: Jim Morrison’s stolen grave bust found after 37 years, Danish canned cheeseburger, and Spain fines you for peeing in the Ocean.