Real Talk: Why Fun Feels “Undeserved” with ADHD

Many ADHD women live by an unspoken rule: no fun until all the work is done. But with an ADHD brain, the work never ends—and joy, connection, and true rest keep getting pushed further down the list.

In this episode, I’m getting real about why fun often feels “undeserved” when you have ADHD, how perfectionism and over-functioning keep you trapped, and why skipping fun is a fast track to burnout.

We’ll talk about: • The inner critic and societal expectations that tell you to “earn” rest • Why scrolling isn’t real rest—and how it drains your energy • How fun and creativity actually make you more productive • Practical steps to protect joy on your calendar

Fun isn’t just for the weekend or when your to-do list is empty—it’s a key part of living well with ADHD.

✨ Mentioned in this episode: The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way journal-book experience: https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/

—CHAPTERS—

00:00 Introduction: The Struggle to Find Fun

00:42 Welcome to the Podcast

01:26 The Fun Dilemma for ADHD Women

02:27 Personal Stories and Observations

05:55 The Impact of Societal Expectations

10:23 The Importance of Fun and Creativity

15:21 Practical Tips for Scheduling Fun

20:26 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!

💛 Connect with me on social media!

Youtube: @Jenbarnes

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice. We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.

If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area. If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

Stop Trying to Fix Yourself: The Powerful Truth About Healing and Self-Love

So many ADHD women spend years thinking, “If I can just fix what’s wrong with me, I’ll finally feel okay.”

But what if there was never anything wrong with you to begin with?

In this episode, I’m sharing a different way to think about healing—not as a project to “get right,” but as a journey of becoming more of who you truly are, one layer at a time.

We’ll talk about:

• Why ADHD women often carry the quiet belief that they’re “wrong” or “too much”
• How healing invites you back to yourself over and over, instead of pushing you to try harder
• The shift from shame, to acceptance, to compassion, and eventually, to self-love
• A gentle reminder that you’re not broken—you’re becoming

If you’re tired of trying to fix yourself and you’re craving a softer, truer path forward, this conversation is for you.

✨ Mentioned in this episode: Grab your copy of the journal-book experience: The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small with ADHD 👉 https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/

—CHAPTERS—

00:00 Introduction: Embracing Your True Self

00:59 Welcome to the Podcast

01:42 The Myth of Fixing Ourselves

02:24 Recognizing Patterns and Burnout

04:50 The Journey of Healing

06:40 Acceptance and Compassion

08:33 Layers of Healing and Growth

13:01 Moving Out of Shame

16:47 Practical Steps to Self-Compassion

26:00 Conclusion: Embracing the Journey

28:39 Special Offer and Final Thoughts

✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support!

💛 Connect with me on social media!

Youtube: @Jenbarnes

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice. We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.

If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area. If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

Ever get stuck in a loop, replaying conversations, overanalyzing decisions, or spiraling in self-doubt?

You’re not alone—and it’s not just anxiety.

In this episode, Jen breaks down the neuroscience behind ADHD overthinking, how it's different from anxiety, and why traditional advice like “just stop thinking about it” never works for ADHD brains.

You'll learn:

• 5 brain-based reasons ADHD overthinking happens
• How to spot the difference between ADHD and anxiety spirals
• What to do in the moment to ground and move forward
• Simple daily habits to reduce overthinking long-term

Plus, Jen shares how mindfulness, nervous system regulation, and compassionate awareness can help you shift the cycle—for good.

Grab your copy of the journal-book experience: The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small with ADHD 👉 https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/

00:00 Introduction to ADHD Overthinking

00:22 Understanding ADHD Overthinking

01:41 Personal Experiences with ADHD Overthinking

02:27 Causes of ADHD Overthinking

08:12 ADHD Overthinking vs. Anxiety Overthinking

15:37 Tools to Manage ADHD Overthinking

20:33 Lifestyle Changes to Reduce Overthinking

21:07 The Importance of Movement and Exercise

27:12 The Role of Sleep and Nutrition

31:27 Mindfulness for ADHD

36:13 Conclusion and Resources

Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support! 💛

Youtube: @Jenbarnes

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice. We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.

If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area. If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

ADHD Burnout - or is it that your DONE People Pleasing?

Have you ever wondered if you're really burnt out… or if you’re just done people pleasing?

In this episode, I’m sharing something I wish more ADHD women (including me) heard sooner: sometimes we’re not exhausted from doing too much—we’re exhausted from being too much for everyone else. From performing. From holding it all together. From being the “pleasant” one, even when we’re falling apart inside.

I open up about my own story—how I went from being a colicky baby to the “perfect child,” and how that shaped my tendency to mask, fawn, and make myself smaller to stay safe. I also walk you through the difference between true burnout and the nervous system fatigue that comes from chronic people pleasing and masking.

If you’ve been resting but still feel drained… if you’re overwhelmed but can’t point to why… or if you’re longing to be more real in your life but you’re afraid of what might happen—I made this episode for you.

You’ll learn:

• Why ADHD women are especially vulnerable to fawning and masking
• What signs point to people-pleasing fatigue (not just burnout)
• How to start unmasking in small, powerful ways
• What it actually means to feel safe enough to be yourself

—CHAPTERS— 00:00 Introduction: Understanding Exhaustion 00:52 The Burden of Masking and People Pleasing 02:24 Personal Experiences and Reflections 03:46 The Cost of Chronic Masking 08:54 Embracing Authenticity and Setting Boundaries 14:57 Practical Steps to Unmasking 18:18 Conclusion and Resources

✨ If this episode resonated with you… Please follow the show, leave a review, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support 💛

💌 Want to go deeper? I created The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small as a journal-book experience to help you reconnect with the version of you that doesn’t have to over-perform to be worthy. It’s part book, part ritual, and 100% soul-nourishing. 🌹 Grab your copy here: https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/

Join my ADHD Professional Women’s email club here: https://jenbarnes.kit.com/email-club Learn more about how we can work together: www.jenbarnes.org

Connect with me on social media: YouTube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal, health, or medical advice. I am not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.

If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency, please contact emergency services in your area. If you’re in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

Stop "Controlling" Your Emotions with ADHD: How to ACTUALLY Work with Big Feelings

Do you ever feel like your emotions are just too much—or maybe like you’ve suppressed them so long that you barely feel them at all?

If you're an ADHD woman who’s been told you’re “too sensitive,” or if you’ve spent years trying to manage or control your emotions so others won’t be uncomfortable, this episode is a must-listen.

In this raw and compassionate episode, we’ll unpacks how emotional suppression harms ADHD women—and shares a practical framework for actually working with your feelings (instead of shutting them down).

You’ll hear:

• Why ADHD women are often told their feelings are “too much”
• How emotional suppression affects your body, your brain, and your relationships
• The 90-second truth about emotions and what helps you process them
• A step-by-step framework to recognize, validate, and work with your emotions
• How to get curious about your parts without judgment

This episode is for you if:

• You struggle with emotional overwhelm—or feel emotionally “numb”
• You’ve been taught to push down or hide your emotions
• You want tools for real emotional growth, not just “coping”
• You're ready to feel more like you again

— CHAPTERS —

00:00 Introduction to ADHD Feelings

01:10 Welcome to the Podcast

01:48 Jen's Personal Story

04:04 The Common Struggle with Emotions

05:19 Therapy and Emotional Suppression

07:11 The Importance of Embracing Emotions

13:18 Practical Steps to Handle Big Feelings

19:15 Special Announcement: Journal Book Experience

21:26 Closing Thoughts and Call to Action

💛 Special Announcement: Jen’s journal-book experience, The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small, is now in presale! This keepsake box includes a guided journal plus beautiful tools for your self-love ritual. Learn more and grab yours at: 👉 https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/

✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support! 💛

💻 Ready to go deeper?

Join my ADHD Professional Women’s email club here: 👉 https://jenbarnes.kit.com/email-club

Learn more about how we can work together: 👉 www.jenbarnes.org

Connect with me on social media!

Youtube: @Jenbarnes

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice. We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.

If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area. If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

ADHD Women: The High Cost of Being a “Pleasant Child”

In this vulnerable episode, I open up about something I’ve only recently started to fully unpack: how my colicky infancy may have been the beginning of my lifelong masking as a woman with ADHD.

What happens when the only way we feel loved is by being quiet, easy, and accommodating?

We’ll talk about early emotional abandonment, attachment patterns, and the cost of becoming "the good girl." I also dive into why so many ADHD women disconnect from their bodies, needs, and authentic self—and what we can do to begin reclaiming who we truly are.

If you’ve ever felt drained by over-functioning, perfectionism, or trying to be palatable to others, this episode will hit home.

—⏱️—CHAPTERS—⏱️—

00:00 Introduction: Unpacking Masking and ADHD

00:46 Early Childhood and Masking Origins

01:10 Welcome to the Podcast

01:52 Personal Stories and Family Dynamics

03:40 The Impact of Early Experiences

06:34 ADHD and Societal Expectations

09:20 Navigating Adulthood with ADHD

15:25 Reclaiming Authenticity and Self-Love

28:04 Introducing the Journal Book Experience

31:21 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

💛 Want support unmasking and reconnecting with your authentic self? Check out The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small with ADHD—a journal book experience and ritual kit for coming home to YOU. 👉 https://jenbarnes.org/stop-playing-small/

✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support! 💛

Looking for more ways to connect and get ADHD Support?

Join my ADHD Professional Women’s email club here: https://jenbarnes.kit.com/email-club

Learn more about how we can work together: www.jenbarnes.org

Connect with me on social media!

Youtube: @Jenbarnes

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or medical advice. We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.

If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency please contact emergency services in your area. If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis line or 911 for a medical emergency.

How to Remember to DO the Skill in the Moment When You Need it Most

Ever learned a great ADHD strategy… only to completely forget to use it when you actually needed it? You're not alone—and you're definitely not doing it wrong.

In this episode of The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way, Jen Barnes shares two ADHD-friendly approaches to help you actually remember to use your regulation skills and strategies in real time. You'll learn how to work with your brain (not against it) by creating future anchors and calling in your inner Follow-Through Fairy 🧚‍♀️—yes, really.

Plus, Jen gently unpacks common mindfulness misconceptions, especially the ones that keep ADHD women from starting in the first place. You’ll walk away with a simple, sustainable way to practice mindfulness (like mindful toothbrushing!) so you can strengthen your brain’s ability to pause and respond—without needing a silent retreat or a meditation cushion.

✨ Short on time, big on takeaways—this is your sign to make your ADHD tools stick.

🔗 Mentioned in this episode: 🖊️ Preorder Jen’s journal-book experience: The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way: How to Stop Playing Small with ADHD

⏱ CHAPTERS ⏱

00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview

01:10 Client Question: Remembering to Use Skills in the Moment

01:58 The Follow Through Fairy: Creating Anchors

03:42 The Power of Mindfulness

07:50 Mindful Toothbrushing: A Practical Exercise

10:38 Conclusion and Journal Book Announcement

#ADHDWomen #MindfulnessForADHD #ExecutiveFunctionSupport #EmotionalRegulation #ADHDStrategies

✨ If you found this episode helpful… Please follow, subscribe, and share it with another ADHD woman who needs support! 💛

💻 Ready to go deeper? Check out ASCEND: The ADHD Women’s Mastery Program — Jen’s high-touch coaching experience designed specifically for ADHD women professionals. With weekly calls, body doubling, and 1:1 coaching with Jen, ASCEND helps you shift your patterns, support your nervous system, and move forward with clarity and confidence.

Check it out here: https://jenbarnes.org/the-adhd-women-entrepreneurs-mastery-program/

Join my ADHD Professional Women’s email club here: https://jenbarnes.kit.com/email-club Learn more about how we can work together: www.jenbarnes.org

Connect with me on social media! YouTube: @Jenbarnes LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenbarneslicsw/

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal, health, or medical advice. We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice or psychotherapy.

If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency, please contact emergency services in your area. If you are in the USA, dial 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Line or 911 for a medical emergency.