Say hello to Zohan the Conqueror, the latest fanboy of the lunatic fringe, now running for mayor of New York City. It’s obvious, Zohan only has a beatnik-level view of what makes the world work, but he’s still planning to run this con on YOU and the coalition of the unhappy next election day. He’s the shiny new locomotive pulling the Hate America First Train into Bankruptcy Station. Zohan the Conqueror (as his mamma calls him) is on board for anyone who’s lost their appetite for work. “Chicks dig me because I burn tires,” said the Zohan. And in a Mandami state-run grocery store, cotton candy is produce! It's a miracle. He's like artificial sweetener, the more you read what’s in it, the less of it you want. Somebody pump the breaks on this mess before New York boils over for good. Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

Any minute now a judge will try to make Trump go get back all the bunker busters he loaded on the plane to Iran, then bring them home and put them right back in the garage where he found ‘em. That’s because Orange man didn’t ask permission first. He didn’t call Sandy Cortez or that really smart one, Ms. Crockett to see if it was OK! Think of it like a Hollywood stop where you just slow roll on by in your B2. Judge will tell Trump to just fly all that stuff home and don’t be doing this again without asking the girls first. Orange says, “talk to the tail ladies – the whiskers ain’t listening.” Otis explains. Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

There’s a prize waiting for anyone who can finish their Bunker Buster with Cheese and keep it down for 8 seconds - just like the rodeo. The Bunker Buster comes tail up to go down easy at forty-five degrees. And when it hits bottom you'll know it, so have s quick exit planned if things get messy. Wait, what’s that? The Bunker Buster comes with an automatic second helping, built right in. Now what can you do to get ready for your next Bunker Buster? First, get out of the way! Call in sick. Take some ME time. Remember the Bunker Buster feeds everybody in the room all at once - no separate checks. We know that OZZY is the Ayatollah of Rock n Rolla, and he is selling his DNA for $4.50 a can. Being liquified is big business! Just sayin'. Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

Orange man wants to reopen the world-famous Alcatraz criminal resort. It’s been rusting and falling down for years, kinda like Sleepy Joe, but Alcatraz can still be restored, Joey probably not. Alcatraz has a special place for people who take their shoes off on airplanes, remove tags from pillows or pull their rotary nose hair clippers out at dinner. Remember Santa doesn’t stop at the county lock up, so do you really think he’s going to Alcatraz? Hell no? Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

Complaining is real popular, and nobody enjoys it more than the activist. Say hello to three-dollar Bill, he’s the new front page of the Donkey Party. When Bill’s not busy at Hamster Fight Club night, he and the other humanized mice like to head downtown for a paid appearance at the local street riot. Bill brings plenty of concrete chunks to hurl at police, and have some left over to share with the other kids so they can go to jail too. That’s America! And if $3 Bill has graffiti skills, well that’s a plus! And you thought untucked masculinity was the problem. Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

When you need a tire changed or a refrigerator moved to the second floor, who do you call? You call a man! Men are back, and are finally done with putting their hair up in mouse ears and going with you to the mall. Don’t be asking men to tell you which sheets they think are the softest. They have no idea – none - and anything they say is just to make you feel better. Men are no longer impressed by things like Kamala's bunions, so quit asking. And if a man brings a bag of Pork Rinds to your birthday party, don’t act surprised. Just smile and say thank you. Otis Investigates. Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

The Mexican Navy is looking for a new navigator after somebody over there tried to drive their one hundred fifty-foot-tall boat underneath the one hundred thirty-foot tall Brooklyn Bridge. Not a good look! Pealed the top right off right in front of where congressman lady Sandy Cortez stays, and supposedly gets her laundry done. Hear what came next with Otis. Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

You know that trick where you turn your socks inside out to get another couple of days out of them? Well, that’s what the donkey party bosses have in mind for Kamala. Just turn the lady in the pant suit inside out for another go at the controls, and do it fast before Sandy Cortez de Putanasa gets it all. But what's the difference? Aren’t you tired of complaining yet? I know I am. Imagine how much more we could get done around here if everybody put down the dopey little signs and walking around out in the yard saving democracy. Isn’t that getting old yet? It’s so last year. Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands