This week, we’re digging into self-compassion—not just as an idea, but as a practice we’re actively building at home.

Our starting point: “We will teach you compassion by practicing compassion with ourselves first; then with each other.” Because if we want to raise kind, resilient kids, it starts with how we treat ourselves.

We each took Dr. Kristin Neff’s Self-Compassion Test 💝 to see where we’re growing—and where we’re stuck. Greg thinks about self-compassion often, but practices it poorly. Danielle scored high on self-kindness and self-judgment. We talk through what that means and how we’re each working to shift.

Then we each designed a small experiment:

• 🟨 Danielle’s Pause Pass: a little laminated card she holds up when she’s overwhelmed. It’s her way of saying: “I’m not shutting down. I’m resetting.”
• 🧠 Greg’s Public Naming: saying out loud when he’s starting to veer off track, so he can catch himself before spiraling.

We also explore the difference between tender and fierce self-compassion, how our kids absorb the way we talk to ourselves, and why this modeling really matters.

Because the way we treat ourselves teaches our children how to treat themselves.

• 🎧 Listen to Episode 13: Compassion
• 💝 Take the Self-Compassion Test (under 5 minutes)
• 🟨 Make your own Pause Pass – a simple visual tool for “I need a moment.”
• 📘 Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown – where our definition of compassion begins

Courage usually gets the Gladiator treatment.
We picture epic battles, high-stakes wins, and shirtless heroics.

But in real life?
It’s not just about “being brave.”

This week, in Episode 12: Courage, we’re talking about what makes it possible for families to practice courage—not just in big moments, but to show up persistently courageous, day to day.

🧱 The Most Important Thing:

Courage needs scaffolding.
Kids don’t learn to be brave just because we tell them to. They learn it through preparation.

🧠 What We’re Learning:

🏗️ Deliberate practice builds confident action.
Whether it’s a spelling bee, a tough conversation, or a hockey tournament, we can rehearse for hard things—together. As Bill Belichick says: “Practice execution becomes game reality.”

🔁 Mistakes aren’t failure—they’re feedback.
From Peloton instructors to portfolio managers, high performers in every field know: You’re not winning every time. You’re learning. Federer only won 54% of the points in his career—and still won 80% of his matches.

🎧 In This Episode, We Unpack:

• Why “just be brave” isn’t enough
• How preparation turns into courage
• What it looks like to normalize mistakes at home
• Why we want our kids to stay in things long enough to get good
• The family cheer, family meetings, and other everyday ways we build a culture of courage

💡 Experiments We’re Trying:

• Roleplaying how to handle disappointment before it hits
• Naming acts of courage in family meetings
• Writing down the “misses” to normalize the process
• Helping our kids shift from outcome-thinking to process-thinking

✨ Favorite Quote:

📚 Further Reading:

• The Art of Winning by Bill Belichick
• Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown

🎙️ Episode 11: Worthiness

In our newest episode—Worthiness—we’re continuing our journey through Brené Brown’s Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto.

📜 “I want you to engage with the world from a place of worthiness.”

🌱 Worthiness = A grounded feeling and core belief that says, “I deserve to take up space in this world.”

This one hits close to home.

We have a child who is easygoing, adaptable, the family peacemaker. And yet—we’re learning that those same qualities can lead her to shrink. To accommodate. To keep the peace and stifle her wants.

So this week we’re asking:

How do we raise kids who believe they are worthy—without needing to be helpful, quiet, agreeable, or easy to love?

How do we help them trust that it’s safe to rock the boat and still belong?

🎧 In this episode, we talk about:

- How worthiness differs from loved and lovable

- Why adaptable ≠ low need

- The invisible ways some people learn to disappear—and how we as a family can support them in claiming space

Each person in our family deserves to know they don’t have to earn their place. They belong—not because they’re easy or exceptional—but simply because they’re here.

Our fourth experiment update—this time as a stand-alone episode. It’s a quick check-in on what we’re trying at home, how it’s going, and what we’re adjusting next.

🏀 The “Talking Ball”
At Friday’s family meal, we introduced new popsicles and a “talking ball” to help each person feel seen while answering three questions: what we liked, what we’d leave behind, and where we can improve.

🧸 “The Love Game”
Danielle and the girls invented a sweet new ritual—tossing stuffies and naming something kind or true about the other person.

📼 Family Stories
We watched Greg’s childhood home videos. Lots of music. Even more nostalgia.

🕓 Family Meetings
Family meeting #4 featured an attempt to learn to twerk! Lots of laughter. Greg may or may not be a natural at the booty jump.

We also debut a new segment: “Greg’s Technology Corner” — where we share tools that are genuinely helping our family life run smoother.

1. Limitless Pendant (by Limitless.ai) ⏺️
   An always-on AI recorder Greg wears daily. It bookmarks moments, reflects on conversations, and helps generate prompts each morning—like how to show up better for your kids.
2. 
   
3. Canon SELPHY CP1500 Photo Printer 🖨️
   A compact 4x6 photo printer that’s fast, portable, and produces gorgeous prints.

As a kid, you likely knew you were loved. But did you also know that you were lovable no matter what?

We didn’t always get that message growing up, as we’ve since learned about one another. But we are all worthy of love, just as we are. So how do we internalize this as adults, and pass along the right message to our kids?

With our tenth episode, Loved & Lovable, we’re introducing a new arc at The Most Important Thing, using Brené Brown’s Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto as our compass.

"Above all else, I want you to know that you are loved and lovable. You will learn this from my words and actions — the lessons on love are in how I treat you and how I treat myself."

So, how might we distinguish between loved and lovable within our family?

❤️ Loved = the feeling that someone is deeply here for you.
It’s love coming toward you—through care, protection, and presence.

• “I love you, and I’ll hold your hand at the doctor.”
• “I love you, and I believe in you, even when you’re scared.”

It’s not just words—it’s follow-through, especially when things are messy.

💗 Lovable = the belief that you are worthy of love, just as you are.
It’s not earned through behavior, helpfulness, or performance—it’s part of a wholehearted identity.

We talk about what it means to “know that you are lovable” and play around with some language experiments—

• Replacing “I love you, but…” with “I love you, therefore…”
• Being more descriptive with how we express love

We also explore presence, repair, and what it means to be a family that doesn’t just feel loved—but where each member believes they’re lovable.

This one’s softer, slower, and full of heart. Thanks for being here with us.

With so much love,
Danielle + Greg

After eight family experiments in three weeks, it’s time to pause, reflect, and reconnect with what’s emerging beneath the surface.

In this episode, we return to TMIT base camp—our space for regrouping and sense-making. We talk through:

• What’s working
• What’s shifting
• And the invisible threads tying it all together

Two big ideas anchor this reflection:

• Keep it simple (“Floss one tooth.” 🦷): Small, consistent actions > big, over-engineered plans. Most of our changes took just 25–50 minutes a week.
• Name the invisible forces (“Make the implicit explicit.”): When we name what’s unspoken—money messages, family values, personal struggles—we get to choose what stays.

We also share moments from our community that have moved us:
Kids asking for movement after dinner.
Families starting rituals.
Adults finding words—and courage—they didn’t have before.

There’s something special happening here. And we’re just getting started.
Come join us at base camp—and get ready for what’s next. 🧡

📩 Sign up for our newsletter at TMITpod.com for bonus resources and behind-the-scenes reflections.

In this episode, we explore how to make the implicit explicit when it comes to money at home. This isn’t a how-to talk about chores and allowances (no jars labeled Spend, Save, Share here). Instead, we reflect on the subtle ways money influences us—and how to start naming (and questioning) those influences out loud.

TMIT about Family Money: Accept that money influences our family culture, whether we realize it or not.

Our 3-step process to becoming more intentional about money:

1. Reflect on our own money beliefs.
2. Normalize money talk within our family.
3. Invite kids into the process.

We also discuss:

• Why reflecting on our own money stories is the first step (shoutout to Money Scripts by Dr. Brad Klontz).
• What kinds of low-stakes, everyday money stories we want to start sharing with the kids.
• A moment from Way of the Warrior Kid, where a boy buys a $2 junkyard bike and spends the summer fixing it—highlighting the value of hard work, creativity, and time well spent.
• How what we value highly (in our case, time) determines many of the choices we make daily—and what that means for the next generation.

Listen here: Spotify | Apple Podcasts

Take the MoneyScripts quiz here!

“Movement can be a pursuit, not a punishment.”

In this episode, we explore how when families co-create movement that feels fun, chosen, and skill-building, they create lasting motivation and connection.

TMIT about Family Movement: Building intrinsic motivation through Autonomy — “I choose this.” + Competence — “I can do this.” + Connection — “I belong here.”

We also discuss:

• Why movement often becomes a “chore” instead of a joy—and how that shift happened during childhood and adolescence for Greg & Danielle.
• How the 🔗 Active 1 + FUN study leveraged self-determination theory to create co-active, side-by-side movement that built confidence, skills, and family connection.
• What a family movement experiment might look like, including choosing a new skill to try together and asking the kids to co-create the way.