In 1977, Dolly Parton sat down for an interview with Barbara Walters. What should have been a conversation between two successful women turned into an unsettling display of condescension and veiled insults. Yet, in the face of passive-aggressive comments and attempts to diminish her, Dolly remained calm, confident, and unshaken. Her response serves as a masterclass in handling female aggression—something many girls and women struggle with throughout their lives.
In this episode of The Heart of Parenting, I dive into the nuances of female bullying, relational aggression, and social exclusion—how they differ from the more physical, direct bullying seen among boys and why they leave such lasting scars. I share my own personal experiences, including an unsettling Starbucks encounter and a workplace betrayal, to illustrate just how insidious these dynamics can be.
Girls don’t just “fight”—they undermine, exclude, and sabotage. This kind of bullying flies under the radar and can deeply impact self-esteem, mental health, and long-term relationships. Today, we unpack:
How female bullying operates differently than male bullying
Why relational aggression is often overlooked by parents and educators
How exclusion and social sabotage shape girls’ self-worth
The psychological impact of female aggression and bullying
What research tells us about the long-term effects of bullying on girls
Strategies to help your daughter stand strong, set boundaries, and build resilience
Why teaching our daughters to support, rather than compete with, other girls is crucial
This episode is a must-listen for parents who want to equip their daughters with the confidence to see through intimidation, stand their ground, and surround themselves with the right people.
Key Takeaways
Bullying is not just physical—it’s psychological. Girls often engage in covert, relational aggression through exclusion, rumor-spreading, and reputation damage.
The stats are alarming. Suicide rates among girls aged 10-14 have increased by 60% over the last decade, and nearly 98% of girls 14-19 report experiencing bullying tied to appearance.
Relational aggression is more than “drama.” It leads to anxiety, self-doubt, and a deep fear of social exclusion—sometimes lasting into adulthood.
Teach your daughter to call it out. Confidence is the biggest defense. Saying, “I see what you’re doing, and it’s not okay” takes the power away from bullies.
Encourage your daughter to find her true friends. Instead of seeking validation from toxic relationships, teach her to invest in friendships that uplift her.
Model the behavior you want to see. The way we, as women, treat each other in front of our daughters sets the tone for how they engage with their peers.
Dolly’s Wisdom for the Win
In the words of Dolly Parton: “Find out who you are and do it on purpose.” Confidence is the antidote to intimidation, and our girls deserve to grow up knowing they don’t have to shrink themselves to make others comfortable.
Resources & How to Connect
**Need help teaching your daughter how to build confidence and resilience and be herself no matter what? Connect with me here:
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