The gang kicks things off with a spirited discussion about our ancestors watching them masturbate (pun totally intentional). Amber asks Tom and Mike to guess the phobia based on name alone, leading to frank discussions about the fear of skaters and emos, Oprah, George Washington's secret love of ice hockey, Nicole Kidman's REAL voice, Swifties Against Seagulls, and Jim Morrison's incomprehensible spoken word ramblings. Mike's segment, a series of monologues delivered in various characters as directed by Amber and Tom, nearly collapses several nearby parallel universes as an influx of Walkens converge on a single point in spacetime. Tom tests Mike and Amber on their knowledge of Extreme Fitness Techniques, including boofing tapeworms for weight loss. In this week's quiz, we discover what Tom, Mike, and Amber's superhero sidekick would be like.

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Things escalate quickly.

Amber kicks things off with a dive into bizarre foreign idioms—some charming, some questionable, all extremely Amber. We talk baby ducks as projectiles, Mortal Kombat’s secret double beastiality ending, and why Tom is officially a monster. Also: thigh titties. You had to be there.

Mike takes us on a nostalgic rampage through the strange artifacts of Gen-X childhood. We call Australia from an Amish payphone, confront the disturbing anatomy of Cap’n Crunch, and redefine the View-Master experience for the digital age. Spoiler: it’s now the View-Masturbator.

Tom unveils his latest body-hacking technique: Gamma Wave Therapy. Think meditation meets gamma radiation meets vaguely illegal science. Side effects include: involuntary drive-by shaving, increased horniness, and launching footballs vaginally with kegel force. Also, he eats Pokémon now. No further questions.

To close things out, Amber gives us a quiz to determine our ideal summer hobby—by designing a zoo. Tom outsources his art project entirely, Mike’s zoo may violate ethics laws, and Amber’s still the only one taking this seriously.

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TMAMultiverse Podbean: https://storytimewithtomandmike.podbean.com

Songs from the Multiverse: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLQcalQzDVAr1FVJ0uVVMi11XESJpo2RKW https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0632Y5xxCRWiNTzPgJH9br?si=56e19f7b4b1a446a

Help us save the multiverse! Join our Discord server today! https://discord.gg/EUH3z6PcJv

In our inaugural episode, we cannonball straight into the deep end of the absurd. Amber tests Tom and Mike’s grasp of Victorian slang with a game of Real or Made Up? Mike proposes starting our own dictionary. We discuss magical grandma boobs, breakfast sausage moguls, and a public health crisis involving laughing pubic lice.

Tom unveils his cutting-edge fitness regimen: Primal Lung Therapy—a blend of intermittent breathing, sprint-induced awakening, and water-screaming. It’s exactly what it sounds like.

Mike brings the Internet to us with trivia so weird it has to be true: clouds are terrifyingly heavy, Jonathan the tortoise is basically immortal and obsessed with landlines, and bumblebee bats could overthrow society with cuteness alone. Oh, and SPAM? It doesn't actually stand for Shoulder of Pork and Ham. You’re welcome.

Amber closes things out with a quiz to determine what emotionally compromised critter we are. Ketchup on mac and cheese? Discuss. Extreme coupon hoarders? Naturally. And one thing’s clear: Amber’s getting the most listener mail, and we’re all just living in her inbox.

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TMAMultiverse Podbean: https://storytimewithtomandmike.podbean.com

Songs from the Multiverse: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLQcalQzDVAr1FVJ0uVVMi11XESJpo2RKW https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0632Y5xxCRWiNTzPgJH9br?si=56e19f7b4b1a446a

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