John K. from Dallas, TX speaking at the Eastside Group in Fort Worth, TX - February 2006

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In Part 1, John K. delivers a powerful and direct message about recovery, sharing his journey of repeated relapses, failed attempts to control his drinking, and ultimate surrender to the AA program. Speaking at the Eastside Group, he emphasizes the necessity of following the Big Book precisely, rejecting half-measures, and fully conceding to alcoholism’s grip. After years of unsuccessful attempts at sobriety, he finally reached a breaking point in 1999, realizing he was powerless and on the brink of destruction. Guided by a firm sponsor, John learned that recovery requires more than just attending meetings—it demands rigorous honesty, precise action, and complete commitment to the 12 Steps. His message is clear: for real alcoholics, anything short of full surrender and spiritual action is a death sentence. With humor, intensity, and conviction, he calls on newcomers to stop trying to outthink their disease and instead embrace the solution that has worked for thousands.

Mary T. from Espanola, NM, Donna D. from Aurora, CO, Catharine D. from San Angelo, TX and Aaron M. from Chayenne, WY speaking on the topic of Step 2 at the Fellowship of the Spirit convention in Copper Mountain, CO - June 27th 2013

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Mary T. shared her journey of coming to believe in a higher power, rooted in a life-changing experience with her daughter's illness and later reinforced through AA. Donna M. initially struggled with the idea of insanity in Step Two but found faith by witnessing the strength of others in the program, realizing she was loved and supported. Catherine D. recounted her transformation from self-reliance and despair to discovering a loving higher power that brought her out of darkness. Aaron, after years of skepticism and resistance, found willingness through desperation, leading him to embrace spiritual help and ultimately experience a profound return to sanity. Each speaker highlighted the transformative power of faith, willingness, and community in their recovery.

Jay S. from Redondo Beach, CA speaking at the "Living Fearlessly Men's retreat" in Estes Park, CO - April 18th 2008

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In Part 4 of the men's retreat, Jay and his wife Adele explore the themes of perception, love, relationships, and the transformative power of meditation. Adele shares a deeply personal realization about how she had never truly seen Jay for who he was, but rather through the lens of her own expectations, judgments, and stories. Through years of meditation and spiritual practice, she found peace and clarity, allowing her to love him fully without the need for change. Jay then shifts the focus to relationships in sobriety, discussing his conscious approach to dating after divorce, the importance of integrity in intimate relationships, and the profound trust-building process he and Adele cultivated before marriage. He highlights the role of meditation, patience, and mutual support in fostering deep connections, contrasting it with the impulsive and often destructive patterns of relationships in active addiction.

Jay also shares his experiences with spiritual awakenings, emphasizing the difference between sudden, profound moments of clarity and the more gradual, educational variety of spiritual development. He recounts his own encounter with an overwhelming presence of love and knowledge, reinforcing that such experiences are available to anyone willing to seek and remain open. Tying it all together, he challenges attendees to embrace meditation, deepen their faith through action, and recognize their role in carrying the message of recovery. The retreat closes with a powerful call to live with purpose, reminding each man that they are destined to change lives through their sobriety. The final moments are spent in five minutes of shared silence, reinforcing the weekend’s theme of deep spiritual connection.

Deandre M. from Lancaster, CA speaking in Ventura, CA - April 4th 2008

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DeAndre shares his powerful journey from the streets of Watts to long-term sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous, blending humor, raw honesty, and deep insights into the nature of alcoholism and recovery. He recounts his early struggles with denial, manipulation, and self-destruction, leading to a moment of surrender at a rehab facility. Through the guidance of a tough but transformative sponsor, he learned not only how to stay sober but also how to live a life of service and spiritual growth. DeAndre emphasizes the importance of long-term sobriety, commitment to the steps, and resisting complacency, urging newcomers to embrace the process fully. His message is clear—true recovery comes from humility, action, and a willingness to serve others in the fellowship.

Jay S. from Redondo Beach, CA speaking at the "Living Fearlessly Men's retreat" in Estes Park, CO - April 18th 2008

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In Part 3, Jay delivers a powerful message on forgiveness, transformation, and the deep impact of unresolved resentments. Through his wife Adele’s moving story about writing a long-overdue letter of forgiveness, Jay highlights how clinging to past wounds can silently consume us, and how true healing only happens when we release the narratives we've built around our pain. He shares his own journey of confronting and ultimately forgiving his father, illustrating how Alcoholics Anonymous provides the tools to show up, make amends, and face even the most difficult moments—whether it’s reconciliation, loss, or the responsibility of being present at life’s end. Jay’s experience witnessing his father’s passing on the anniversary of his own sobriety serves as a profound reminder that everything is unfolding as it should, and that true peace comes when we surrender control and embrace grace. This session challenges the men at the retreat to let go of their deepest resentments, making space for healing by symbolically writing names down and committing to forgiveness.

Mike S. from Denver, CO and David M. from Palm Springs, CA speaking about steps 8 and 9 at the Fellowship of the Spirit in Conyers, GA - April 7th 2014

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Mike & David delve into the critical steps of making amends in Alcoholics Anonymous, focusing on Steps 8 and 9. Mike shares his journey of initially doubting the existence of God but ultimately finding faith through the amends process. He emphasizes that true change happens when we become willing to take responsibility for our past actions without excuses, writing out detailed amends to prevent self-justification. He recounts life-altering experiences, including turning himself in for old warrants and making amends to dangerous figures from his past, proving that either the program works or it doesn’t. The discussion highlights the importance of making amends with an open heart, not as a selfish act to clear one's conscience but as a means to restore relationships and integrity. Stories of financial amends, amends to deceased loved ones, and the profound realization that most people don’t even remember the harms we agonize over further illustrate the ego-deflation required for deep spiritual growth. The takeaway is clear: the amends process isn’t about protecting ourselves; it’s about stepping into the world fearlessly, knowing that honesty, responsibility, and faith will guide the way.

Jay S. from Redondo Beach, CA speaking at the "Living Fearlessly Men's retreat" in Estes Park, CO - April 18th 2008

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In Part 2 of this men's retreat, Jay dives deeper into the emotional and spiritual challenges of sobriety, focusing on topics like chronic pain, depression, and the stigma surrounding medication in Alcoholics Anonymous. Through his wife's powerful writings and personal experiences, he explores the complexities of suffering and the importance of responding with love, kindness, and patience. Jay also addresses the role of Al-Anon and other 12-step fellowships in supporting not just alcoholics but those struggling with other compulsions, emphasizing that true recovery is about spiritual growth and self-awareness. He discusses the importance of establishing a spiritual practice within the home, sharing how he and his wife meditate together to create a foundation of peace and connection. As always, Jay delivers his message with humor, humility, and wisdom, reminding the men at the retreat that true transformation happens through community, faith, and consistent action.

Valerie D. from Richmond, VA speaking at the 60th annual Texas State AA Convention in Dallas, TX - August 20th 2005

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Valerie D. shares her powerful journey through alcoholism and recovery, highlighting her struggles with feeling different, early drinking, and eventual immersion into Alcoholics Anonymous. She details her initial resistance to AA, relapses, and eventual surrender, crediting strong sponsorship and deep engagement with the steps for saving her life. Through making amends, practicing daily spiritual principles, and committing to service in her home group, Valerie finds the fellowship and purpose she had always sought. Her story is one of transformation—moving from deception, instability, and self-will to a life of accountability, connection, and faith in a higher power.

Music: Deep by KaizanBlu