This Q & A explores issues arising from 'Mastering Difficult Conversations Part 1 (What's Going On?)'. Topics discussed included: how nurturing trust over time makes subsequent difficult conversations much easier; the distinction between naive and mature trust; the distinction between reacting and responding, and how we can use analysis of conversational dynamics to shift to responding; the importance of preparing for difficult conversations; and the development of confidence in one's ability to navigate difficult conversations well.

The first of this 3-part series on mastering difficult conversations begins by describing 'what's going on' when a conversation is difficult. We see that the threat system in our brain is activated when there is low trust and this inhibits our capacity to think collaboratively and creatively. By contrast, we generally want there to be high trust so we can experiment and create together. So the first task is to assess the dynamics: to see what states in ourselves and in the other person need shifting to create more trust. The following podcasts explore how to do that.

This roundtable discussed the podcast with Alyssa Coco and Matt Merritt and focussed on the following themes: how 'comparison is the thief of joy' and the necessity of transforming the cycle of comparison to a cycle of inspiration; how studying others' successes builds one's own success; how mindfulness can help in identifying one's negatiev reactions thereby allowing a more positive perspective; how typical these challenges are for the Indie artitst; how brave and honest Alyssa and Matt were ini this discussion; how early success and signing with a label is just the ffirst of many mountains to climb, and how unprecendented and problematic the contemporary access to artists is via social media.

This Roundtable discusses the "Thee or Me?" podcast - subtitled ‘Altruism & Compassion’. Issues discussed include: how all people are contradictory and may have within themself a 'community of selves'; how polarisation is fed by social media, how we are all prone to it and are offered incentives to be extreme; the problem of scale and the innumeracy of empathy; the salience of the negative in social media; the problem of the lack of direct accountability in social media; how the antidote to polarisation is compassion and altruism; and why it is 'reciprocal' altruism and not just altruism.

Part 2 of ‘Thee or Me’ uses the lens of evolutionary psychology to explore our moral complexity driven in large part by the tension between hardwired self-interest and reciprocal altruism. The crowning glory of homo sapiens is our ability to cooperate. There is little doubt it is THE thing which enabled us to survive and thrive as a species. Topics explored include cheating and deception, moral outrage and virtue signalling. Four broad solutions for living wisely are suggested: self-skepticism and humility; the separation of powers within society; non-zero-sum cooperation; and finally, compassion.

In this Music & Mental Health Podcast I’m talking with Alyssa Coco and Matt Merritt from singer and songwriter indie pop band Roses and Revolutions. Our topics, as usual are creativity and music and their relation to mental health, with a focus on what challenges our wellbeing and our creativity and what Alyssa & Matt have found that helps. We discuss how Alyssa has learne to cope with her OCD and how both she and Matt navigate the challenges of constant comparisons, the deluge of performance data and the pressure of faster and faster song cycle. Particular topics covered included the power of perseverance driven by passion and intrinsic motivation, how productivity in the long run leads to success for most, and the value of playing music with others, especially the benefits of mixing with different people and playing different styles of music.

This Roundtable discusses the "Thee or Me?" podcast - subtitled ‘Morality & The Prisoner's Dilemma’. Issues discussed include: that genetics can play a part in personal morality and different moralities are reflected in the egocentric bias common to us all; a discussion of behavioural economics and the way culture and public forces can nudge or 'crowd in' or 'crowd out' individual virtue; how wisdom may include the development of character to overcome the shortcomings of our nature; and the extent to which we can escape or transcend our genes. Again, the development of character was discussed in this context.

In 'Thee or Me? Part 1: Morality & The Prisoner’s Dilemma' I explore why we are sometimes selfish and at other times altruistic. The answer is a complex mix of nature and nurture, personality and circumstance. As with self-interest, altruism is a hard-wired feature of our species – one that is critical for our survival. The first podcast explores how ethical behaviour is a product of both inherited personality preferences and social incentives and conditioning. Using the example of the 'Prisoner's Dilemma' I discuss how on average you can encourage altruistic behaviour by approaching people with an assumption of their trustworthiness and moral good intent. But we should not be naive and should protect ourselves from bad social players.