“New Year’s resolutions can sometimes send the message that where you’re currently at isn’t good enough. And that’s just not always the case!

Dr. Z invites listeners to rethink the often pressure-filled tradition of New Year’s resolutions by asking a powerful question: What does growth need to be tied to the arbitrary date of January 1st and why does change need to be so extreme? She introduces a practical and compassionate approach with three simple strategies—maintain, modify, and make another date—designed to fit your life, values, and resources. Why overwhelm yourself with unrealistic goals when smaller, sustainable steps can create lasting progress?

In this episode, Dr. Z breaks down how to set clear, actionable goals while avoiding the trap of perfectionism. She reminds us that real growth comes from meeting ourselves where we are. It’s a refreshing take on self-improvement, grounded in empathy and practicality.

Quotes

• “Maintain, modify, make another date. These are three things I want you to remember about setting resolutions as you go into 2025.” (08:40 | Dr. Z)
• “Make sure what you’re setting is achievable. Don’t try to tackle the world. We have too much on our shoulders. Pick something small. If you’re going to start something new, pick something with a small learning curve. Pick something that you’re already kind of familiar with.” (12:35 | Dr. Z)
• “A mood can never be a goal. I repeat, a mood can never be a goal. Happiness can never be a goal.” (19:24 | Dr. Z)
• “New Year’s resolutions suggest that where you’re at is bad and wrong and needs to be fixed and changed. It doesn’t.” (26:42 | Dr. Z)

Links

Connect with Dr. Z: https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/

https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/

https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/

https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist

https://www.youtube.com/@DrJaimeZuckerman

Get my FREE breathing exercise here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/newsletter

Register for my on demand virtual courses here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/workshops

Order my workbooks! *Find Your Calm / Find Good Habits* http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/books

Shop my new Mindfully Messy hoodie here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/apparel

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Leaving a narcissistic abusive relationship might seem like the obvious choice, but for many, it’s far from simple. Sometimes, people can’t ‘just leave.’ In this episode, Dr. Z sits down with author and mental health clinician, Dr. Kerry McAvoy, to explore why leaving isn’t always an option—and what to do when staying is your current reality.

As a survivor of narcissistic abuse herself, Dr. McAvoy explains the enmeshed dynamics and unique behavior patterns—such as intermittent reinforcement—that keep people emotionally and psychologically tied to their abusers. She points out the importance of self-discovery, the development of internal boundaries, and reclaiming a sense of self as critical steps toward healing. The discussion also addresses the shame often felt by those who return to abusive partners and the practical barriers, such as financial dependence, that can prevent someone from leaving.

Whether you're navigating life within a narcissistic abusive relationship or looking for tools to rebuild after leaving, this episode offers insights and strategies to help you protect your peace and reclaim your identity.

Quotes

• "Leaving is really the best way to re-regulate the traumatized nervous system and also for the person to have enough space for them to emotionally detach and start to heal." (03:22| Dr. Kerry McAvoy)
• “I heard from Dr. Ramani, and it resonated powerfully with me. And it hit me. It was like a punch. I felt like a punch. She said, to say that somebody should leave is actually a privilege. And not everybody has the privilege of leaving.” (14:54 | Dr. Kerry McAvoy)
• "I think the first thing is to recognize that you've lost yourself and it has become submerged and enmeshed with this other person because the other person wants that." (19:05 | Dr. Kerry McAvoy)
• "You're going to have to navigate that yourself because it's a fine line. You're going to have to walk between compromising yourself, which is in self-betrayal versus protecting yourself but putting yourself at risk in the relationship for further abuse." (42:47 | Dr. Kerry McAvoy)
• “I really like this analogy, it’s that boundaries are a red flag to a bull and the narcissist is going to run at them.” (43:50 | Dr. Kerry McAvoy)

Links

Connect with Dr. Kerry McAvoy:

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/kerrymcavoyphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kerrymcavoyphd/

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKLQyhjWUzWrBfoQlC5ZotQ

TIKTOK: https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdjuTrnV/

Group Coaching programs: Healing Strong for surviving healing and recovering from narcissistic abuse https://kerrymcavoyphd.com/healing-strong/

Connect with Dr. Z: https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/

https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/

https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/

https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist

https://www.youtube.com/@DrJaimeZuckerman

Get my FREE breathing exercise here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/newsletter

Register for my on demand virtual courses here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/workshops

Order my workbooks! *Find Your Calm / Find Good Habits* http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/books

Shop my new Mindfully Messy hoodie here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/apparel

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

In this episode, Dr. Z delves into the complex dynamics between narcissistic mothers and their adult daughters. She discusses how the behavior patterns of narcissistic mothers challenge societal norms of the mother/daughter relationship and have a profound impact on their daughters’ self-esteem and mental health.

Dr. Z also addresses the grieving process daughters of narcissistic mothers must go through once they come to accept the relationship will never be what they hoped for. She emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and offers practical strategies for managing these dynamics.

Tune in to this episode of Next Up: Narcissism for Dr. Z’s compassionate and empowering insights, aimed at helping listeners break free from narcissistic abuse and move towards a healthier, happier life.

Quotes

• “With narcissistic moms, they love their children in conditions. They love their children so long as the child is, at any age, doing what is expected of the narrative that has been given to them since birth. So, since birth, you get a narrative. You are to play that role your whole life. That role is meant to put you in a certain pattern that the narcissistic mom is able to control and manipulate. Because remember, with narcissists, the main goal of narcissistic behavior is to gain power and control, to take away your autonomy, to take away your sense of self.” (09:11 | Dr. Z)
• “Do narcissistic moms love their kids? They love them when they are performing as the narcissist wants them to perform. They love them so long as the child is doing what is expected of them.” (11:07 | Dr. Z)
• “Start to gain objectivity to your narcissistic mom’s behavior and the reality of who you are, because the reality of who you are is not connected to her. She’s just made you think that for so long. Your ability to make decisions independent of her exists. It always existed… Once you realize that you can exist separately from a narcissistic mom, your entire world opens up. You realize that you are capable of doing whatever you want to do, as long as you understand that you will never get the support that you want from your mom, unless it benefits her.” (37:40 | Dr. Z)

Connect with Dr. Z: https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/

https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/

https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/

https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist

https://www.youtube.com/@DrJaimeZuckerman

Get my FREE breathing exercise here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/newsletter

Register for my on demand virtual courses here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/workshops

Order my workbooks! *Find Your Calm / Find Good Habits* http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/books

Shop my new Mindfully Messy hoodie here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/apparel

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Understanding narcissism isn’t about excusing it. It’s about equipping yourself to break free and protect your mental health, especially during times of heightened emotions like the holidays.

In this episode, Dr. Z is joined by Wendy Behary, expert in cognitive and schema therapy and author of “Disarming the Narcissist.” Together, they unpack the complexities involved in managing the dynamics with a narcissist. Wendy defines the role of empathy, not as sympathy or agreement, but as a tool for understanding narcissistic behavior, discerning your place within the dynamic, and strengthening your internal boundaries.

Wendy shares strategies for navigating interactions with narcissists, including maintaining neutral, confident communication and recognizing personal triggers. She also introduces the concept of schemas—deep-rooted emotional beliefs formed in childhood—and explains how identifying these patterns can help mitigate vulnerabilities within a narcissistic relationship.

Join Wendy and Dr. Z as they share actionable strategies to help you protect your peace this holiday season, nurture your well-being, recognize your progress, and stay grounded in challenging moments.

Quotes

• “The problem with empathy is the word itself—empathy. Too many people hear ‘empathy’ and think ‘sympathy.’ You hear ‘empathy’ and think ‘compassion.’ It’s neither. Empathy, in really simple language, is ‘understanding.’ So, it’s not about having empathy for the narcissist; it’s about having empathy about narcissism—and your particular brand of narcissist that you may be dealing with.” (12:28 | Wendy Behary)
• “Empathy is not agreement. Empathy is not endorsement. Empathy is not support. Empathy can lead to compassion for someone in your life—not necessarily the narcissist, though it can for therapists. It certainly can when we develop a better understanding of what’s happening deep at the core for those narcissists who are actually willing to work on themselves. Some want to work on themselves, or at least have succumbed to the idea that they really need to. I think differentiating empathy—or just calling it a deep, skin-felt understanding of how something works and why it is the way it is—becomes part of your freedom ticket.” (14:44 | Wendy Behary)
• “Empathy means to know, to understand, to get, to sense. Know yourself. Where am I the most at risk? When does that level of intensity strike me, where I go into some defensive position when I have nothing to defend, when I start apologizing?” (19:11 | Wendy Behary)

Links

Connect with Wendy Behary, LCSW:

http://www.schematherapytrainingonline.com/p/empathic-confrontation-wendy-behary0

https://disarmingthenarcissist.com/

https://www.facebook.com/wtbehary

linkedin.com/in/wendy-behary-269a8a16

Instagram: @donsanddivas https://www.instagram.com/donsanddivas/

Connect with Dr. Z: https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/

https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/

https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/

https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist

https://www.youtube.com/@DrJaimeZuckerman

Get my Holiday Help Handbook: https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/store/p/dr-zs-holiday-help-workshop-l3ss7

Shop my new Mindfully Messy hoodie here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/apparel

Get my FREE breathing exercise here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/newsletter

Register for my virtual workshops here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/workshops

Order my workbooks! http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/books

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“The trauma is always going to be a significant component of who you are,” says Sasha Joseph Neulinger, the founder of Voice For The Kids and co-founder of Step 1 Films. Joining Dr. Z in this episode, Sasha reflects on his journey from surviving years of sexual abuse to reclaiming his life with purpose and self-empowerment.

Sasha shares the pivotal role of his autobiographical documentary “Rewind,” which began as a deeply personal exploration of his childhood but became a beacon of hope for survivors of sexual abuse around the world. He discusses the challenges of breaking free from cycles of intergenerational trauma, the courage it takes to confront family dysfunction, and the sacrifices involved in setting boundaries.

How does one truly heal when the wounds of trauma run deep? Sasha and Dr. Z touch on the ongoing nature of healing, and discuss how intentional choices and consistent effort can lead to transformation. They tackle the complexities of self-love, navigating estrangement, and finding strength in creating a healthier future.

Sasha’s insights remind us that healing isn’t a straight path, but each step forward is a testament to resilience. This episode offers wisdom and inspiration for anyone seeking to heal from trauma and create a life rooted in authenticity and hope.

Quotes

• “When we talk about the challenges of multi-generational trauma and multi-generational abuse, and why it’s so hard to break that cycle, it’s because the wound that wasn’t dealt with by the person who received it gets put behind their back.” (14:36 | Sasha Joseph Neulinger)
• “The trauma is always going to be a significant component of who you are. But to say, ‘Okay, it’s a part of my story, but it doesn’t define the trajectory of my life’—that’s an important distinction.” (27:00 | Sasha Joseph Neulinger)
• “​​Intention plus effort times consistency equals manifestation.” (35:31 | Sasha Joseph Neulinger)
• “Healing is not a destination; it’s a journey. You heal something inside of yourself, and it gives you the opportunity to see something else that you could put love towards.” (47:54 | Sasha Joseph Neulinger)

Links

Connect with Sasha Joseph Neulinger:

https://www.voiceforthekids.com/

https://www.rewinddocumentary.com/

Watch REWIND on Peacock: https://www.peacocktv.com/watch-online/movies/rewind/93564a65-dd03-34e2-a863-2fb0d15bd91b

Watch REWIND on Prime: https://www.amazon.com/Rewind-Sasha-Joseph-Neulinger/dp/B086M33121

https://www.instagram.com/sjneulinger/

https://www.facebook.com/@SashaJNeulinger

Connect with Dr. Z: https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/

https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/

https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/

https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist

https://www.youtube.com/@DrJaimeZuckerman

Shop my new Mindfully Messy hoodie here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/apparel

Get my FREE breathing exercise here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/newsletter

Register for my virtual workshops here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/workshops

Order my workbooks! http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/books

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“Narcissists routinely love to ruin meaningful moments,” says Dr. Jaime Zuckerman as she unpacks the challenges of dealing with narcissists during the holidays while offering strategies to help you stay grounded and in control. How do you handle the unsolicited comments, the manipulative behaviors, or even the intentional chaos they bring to gatherings? Dr. Z encourages listeners to prepare for these moments rather than hoping for change, using boundaries and neutral responses as tools to maintain your own sense of peace.

Dr. Z also touches on the difficulties surrounding co-parenting during the holidays, as well as the emotional strings tied to gift-giving. She provides actionable advice to defuse conflict while protecting your mental well-being. Dr. Z explains how seemingly small and neutral actions are most effective in shifting power dynamics, such as a simple “thank you” or having a pre-planned exit strategy.

This episode is a guide to navigating the holidays with clarity and confidence. Dr. Z reminds listeners that while you can’t control others, you can control how you respond—and that alone can make all the difference.

Quotes

• “Narcissists routinely love to ruin meaningful moments.” (04:49 | Dr. Z)
• “You’re not changing their behavior. That’s not what this is about. This is about you gaining control over the situation.” (10:50 | Dr. Z)
• “It is necessary for you to set boundaries. It is necessary for you to stay neutral. It is necessary for you to sit with the discomfort and regulate your nervous system. This is essential because we know that birthdays, holidays, major events, promotions, and graduations are the times when narcissists love to perform. Do not give them the platform.” (30:06 | Dr. Z)
• “A boundary only doesn’t work if you don’t keep setting it... The purpose of boundaries is for you to walk away feeling empowered and more in control, leaving them standing there with the accountability of the conversation on them. What they choose to do with that accountability is up to them—they’re not going to take it, but at least it’s not yours to carry.” (30:54 | Dr. Z)

Links

Connect with Dr. Z: https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/

https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/

https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/

https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist

https://www.youtube.com/@DrJaimeZuckerman

Dr. Z's Holiday Help Handbook: https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/store/p/dr-zs-holiday-help-workshop-l3ss7

Shop my new Mindfully Messy hoodie here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/apparel

Get my FREE breathing exercise here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/newsletter

Register for my virtual workshops here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/workshops

Order my workbooks! http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/books

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

Your face reveals the truth before your words do—Annie Särnblad unpacks how microexpressions expose deception and hidden emotions. Joining Dr. Z, she discusses the relationship between our facial expressions and emotional states, and offers insights that could change how you perceive everyday interactions.

What are microexpressions, and why do they matter? Annie explains that they are involuntary movements that reveal genuine emotions, often before we’re even aware of them. These universal signals can bridge gaps in understanding, but they also uncover uncomfortable truths, especially when dealing with deception or narcissistic personality disorder.

Narcissists often mask their true feelings, yet their microexpressions can betray them. What does it mean when someone’s face shows arousal or excitement at another’s pain? Annie and Dr. Z explore how this subtle behavior reveals deeper emotional truths.

By learning to recognize these cues, you can better navigate challenging relationships and detect dishonesty more effectively. This episode invites you to see the hidden stories written on the faces you encounter.

Quotes

• “With a grown-up, you may be asking someone in front of you, ‘How are you feeling today?’ And they go, ‘Great.’ And they pucker their chin. Well, they’re not really feeling great. That’s their body leaking. The microexpression is a leakage of emotion.” (07:04 | Annie Särnblad)
• “When I see somebody actually showing arousal, joy, or getting a thrill, getting off on someone else’s suffering, that to me is a red flag that there may be some psychopathy.” (41:43 | Annie Särnblad)
• “That intuition that we get, that feeling in our gut, like, ‘I don’t like that person. I don’t know what it is. I can’t figure it out. They just creep me out.’ What we’re picking up on are microexpressions. Yes, and probably other things too, like smell, body language, tone of voice… I’m looking for the disconnect, where the facial expressions and the words aren’t matching. If that’s a consistent thing, this isn’t good. This is a big red flag to stay away. And you’re going to combine that with other pieces that just don’t match.” (48:48 | Dr. Z & Annie Särnblad)

Links

Connect with Annie Särnblad:

https://anniesarnblad.com

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/annie.sarnblad/

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@anniesarnblad

https://anniesarnblad.com/book/

Annie has a new online course, the Reading Humans Masterclass. More information is here: https://anniesarnblad.com/courses/reading-humans-masterclass/

Connect with Dr. Z: https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/

https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/

https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/

https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist

https://www.youtube.com/@DrJaimeZuckerman

Shop my new Mindfully Messy hoodie here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/apparel

Get my FREE breathing exercise here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/newsletter

Register for my virtual workshops here: http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/workshops

Order my workbooks! http://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/books

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm