Ep. 72 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Making Friends at a New School

Nora wants to know what she can do to make friends when she's starting at a new school.

Scroll down for discussion questions.

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Think of a time when you started a friendship. What happened? Who reached out first, you or the other kid? How did you and your friend show each other that you were open to friendship?

- Dr. Friendtastic says, “Friendships take time to grow.” What does that mean? (Hint: Why do you NOT have to worry if you’re not instantly close friends with someone?)

- What’s one example of something kind you’ve done for another kid? How did that kid react?

- Why is it usually not a good idea to read a book at lunch or recess? (Hint: What message does that send other kids?)

- Why is it important to try to learn other kids’ names?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 63 - Rosie, age 5 3/4: Friend wants all her attention https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep63-rosie-age-5

Ep. 16 - Sam, age 13: Joining a new group of friends https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-16-sam

Ep. 44 - Vera, age 8: Change self to make friends? https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/vera-age-8-change-self-to-make-friends

Ep. 71 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Dealing with a Hot-and-Cold Friend

Tali is trying to figure out whether a friend who runs hot-and-cold–sometimes kind, sometimes unkind–is really her friend.

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- How does a close friendship differ from a casual friendship?

- Why do you think kids sometimes stick with a not-so-kind friend?

- What does it mean to you to be a “Steady-Warm Friend”?

- Everybody makes mistakes. How would you decide if a friendship is worth continuing after a friend does something you don’t like?

- What are some ways you could use good communication to handle a friendship rough spot or conflict?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 1 - Naomi, age 7: Friendship ends over small thing https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-1

Ep. 67 - Paul, age 12: Choosing good friends https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/paul-age-12-choosing-friends-who

Ep. 15 - Evie, age 9: What is a close friend https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-15-evie

Ep. 70 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Sending and receiving Stop Signals

Owen asks about Stop Signals, which are all the verbal and nonverbal ways people tell someone to stop. Sending and receiving Stop Signals effectively can protect a friendship!

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Why are Stop Signals important for protecting friendships? (Hint: What could happen if you want a friend to stop doing something, but you don’t say anything? What could happen if your friend gives you a Stop Signal and you ignore it?)

- Describe a time when a friend asked you to stop doing something. How did you feel about being asked to stop? How did you respond?

- Describe a time when you wanted a friend to stop doing something. How did you handle it? How did your friend respond?

- Why do you think kids sometimes ignore Stop Signals?

- What are some things you could do if you ask someone to stop but they don’t listen?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 41 - Tessa, Age 9: Friends won't listen to stop or no https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/tessa-age-9-boundaries

Ep. 18 – Kai, Age 9: Friends call him bossy https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-18-kai

Ep. 43 - Beatrix, Age 8: Friend cut her hair! https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/beatrix-age-8-friend-cuts-her-hair

Ep. 69 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Is an imperfect friendship worth keeping?

Phoebe feels excluded when her friends hang out without her.

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Have you ever felt left out? How did you handle it?

- Why is it unfair (and unkind) to insist, “I’ll only be your friend if you never do anything without me!”?

- Why is it sometimes worth keeping an imperfect friendship with someone who is usually kind and fun?

- Dr. Friendtastic said that doing activities together, inviting someone over, or saying, “I’d love to do that with you sometime!” could be good ways to deepen a friendship. What have you done to try to become closer friends with someone?

- Why might adding a fourth friend to the group be helpful?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 26 - Abigail, Age 10 - Friendship doesn't have to be all or nothing https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-26-abigail

Ep. 8 - Blake, Age 11: Excluded by friends https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-episode-1b6

Ep. 66 - Adeline, Age 8: Friends don't invite her https://api.substack.com/feed/podcast/146810575/b3524087ba7d2f24c11daf518984e212.mp3

Ep. 68 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Avoiding the demand-withdraw pattern

Maya wonders how to handle a friend who runs away and ignores her.

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Have you ever been in a situation like Maya’s, where someone was running away from you? Have you ever run away from someone? What happened?

- Why does Dr. Friendtastic suggest NOT chasing a friend who is running away (unless it’s a fun game of tag!)? (Hint: What should you look for in a friendship?)

- Why do you think kids sometimes avoid discussing problems? How might that hurt a friendship? What could friends do to make problem discussions easier? (Hint: What are things you could say or avoid saying to make a conflict less painful?)

- Why might it be a good idea for the person who is LEAST wrong to apologize first?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 32 - Tara, Age 12: Friend is pulling away https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-32-tara

Ep. 45 - Reid, Age 5: Gets angry at classmates https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/reid-age-5-gets-angry-at-classmates

Ep. 60 - Henry, Age 8: Friends invited but not him https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-drfriendtastic-ep60-henry-age-8

Ep. 67 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Peer pressure vs. peer influence

Paul asks how to find the right friends to surround himself with.

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- What are some ways that you’ve been influenced by your friends? Do you think that influence has been positive (good for you) or negative (bad for you)? Why?

- Have you ever been in a situation where a friend tried to pressure you to do something you didn't want to do? What happened?

- What three words would you use to describe the five (or so) friends you spend the most time with? Do you think those three words also describe you? Why or why not?

- Dr. Friendtastic said, “However your friends might influence or even pressure you, you’re in charge of deciding what’s the right thing for you to do.” What does that mean?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 16 - Sam, Age 13: Joining a new group of friends https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-16-sam

Ep. 36 - Ann, Age 9: Dealing with peer pressure https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ann-age-9-dealing-with-peer-pressure

Ep. 43 - Beatrix, Age 8: Friend cut her hair! https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/beatrix-age-8-friend-cuts-her-hair

Ep. 66 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: What’s behind a friend wanting to control you?

Adeline wishes her friends would invite her to play during recess, but she doesn’t have to wait for an invitation.

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Have you ever had a controlling friend? If so, why do you think your friend was trying to control you? How did you handle it?

- Has anyone ever told you that you were being bossy or controlling? If so, what happened? What are some signs that you might be pushing a friend too hard and need to stop?

- Rigid thinkers tend to believe that there is “one right way” to do things. How could that hurt a friendship? (Hint: How might a friend feel if they want to do things differently?)

- What does it mean to “agree to disagree”? Why is it sometimes good to do this in a friendship?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 60 - Henry, Age 8: Friends invited but not him https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-drfriendtastic-ep60-henry-age-8

Ep. 39 - Maya, Age 8: Replaced by a friend's new friend https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/maya-age-8-replaced-by-a-friends

Ep. 26 - Abigail, Age 10: Friendship doesn't have to be all or nothing https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-26-abigail

Ep. 65 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: What’s behind a friend wanting to control you?

Bridget wonders how to deal with a friend who is being controlling.

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Have you ever had a controlling friend? If so, why do you think your friend was trying to control you? How did you handle it?

- Has anyone ever told you that you were being bossy or controlling? If so, what happened? What are some signs that you might be pushing a friend too hard and need to stop?

- Rigid thinkers tend to believe that there is “one right way” to do things. How could that hurt a friendship? (Hint: How might a friend feel if they want to do things differently?)

- What does it mean to “agree to disagree”? Why is it sometimes good to do this in a friendship?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 59 - Jessie, Age 13: Get rid of toxic friends? https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep59-jessie-age-13

Ep. 18 - Kai, Age 9: Building great leadership skills https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-18-kai

Ep. 41 - Tessa, Age 9: Friends won't listen to stop or no https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/tessa-age-9-boundaries