Ep. 70 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Sending and receiving Stop Signals

Owen asks about Stop Signals, which are all the verbal and nonverbal ways people tell someone to stop. Sending and receiving Stop Signals effectively can protect a friendship!

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Why are Stop Signals important for protecting friendships? (Hint: What could happen if you want a friend to stop doing something, but you don’t say anything? What could happen if your friend gives you a Stop Signal and you ignore it?)

- Describe a time when a friend asked you to stop doing something. How did you feel about being asked to stop? How did you respond?

- Describe a time when you wanted a friend to stop doing something. How did you handle it? How did your friend respond?

- Why do you think kids sometimes ignore Stop Signals?

- What are some things you could do if you ask someone to stop but they don’t listen?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 41 - Tessa, Age 9: Friends won't listen to stop or no https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/tessa-age-9-boundaries

Ep. 18 – Kai, Age 9: Friends call him bossy https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-18-kai

Ep. 43 - Beatrix, Age 8: Friend cut her hair! https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/beatrix-age-8-friend-cuts-her-hair

Ep. 69 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Is an imperfect friendship worth keeping?

Phoebe feels excluded when her friends hang out without her.

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Have you ever felt left out? How did you handle it?

- Why is it unfair (and unkind) to insist, “I’ll only be your friend if you never do anything without me!”?

- Why is it sometimes worth keeping an imperfect friendship with someone who is usually kind and fun?

- Dr. Friendtastic said that doing activities together, inviting someone over, or saying, “I’d love to do that with you sometime!” could be good ways to deepen a friendship. What have you done to try to become closer friends with someone?

- Why might adding a fourth friend to the group be helpful?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 26 - Abigail, Age 10 - Friendship doesn't have to be all or nothing https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-26-abigail

Ep. 8 - Blake, Age 11: Excluded by friends https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-episode-1b6

Ep. 66 - Adeline, Age 8: Friends don't invite her https://api.substack.com/feed/podcast/146810575/b3524087ba7d2f24c11daf518984e212.mp3

Ep. 68 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Avoiding the demand-withdraw pattern

Maya wonders how to handle a friend who runs away and ignores her.

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Have you ever been in a situation like Maya’s, where someone was running away from you? Have you ever run away from someone? What happened?

- Why does Dr. Friendtastic suggest NOT chasing a friend who is running away (unless it’s a fun game of tag!)? (Hint: What should you look for in a friendship?)

- Why do you think kids sometimes avoid discussing problems? How might that hurt a friendship? What could friends do to make problem discussions easier? (Hint: What are things you could say or avoid saying to make a conflict less painful?)

- Why might it be a good idea for the person who is LEAST wrong to apologize first?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 32 - Tara, Age 12: Friend is pulling away https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-32-tara

Ep. 45 - Reid, Age 5: Gets angry at classmates https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/reid-age-5-gets-angry-at-classmates

Ep. 60 - Henry, Age 8: Friends invited but not him https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-drfriendtastic-ep60-henry-age-8