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🎧 In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn breaks down the 3 stages of jealousy that sabotage emotional security—and how to work through them.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in spirals, constantly checking your partner’s phone, or craving reassurance just to get through the day—this episode is for you.

Through her own experience and years of coaching clients through jealousy, Shanenn identifies 3 specific levels most people go through: High Alert, Distance Dependent, and Emotionally Equipped. You’ll learn how to recognize where you are, why each stage feels the way it does, and how to move forward with more self-trust and less shame.

This is your roadmap out of relationship anxiety and into emotional strength.

🔑 Key Moments:

• 2:00 – The High Alert stage: spiraling thoughts, hypervigilance, and the toll on your nervous system
• 10:00 – Breaking out of unhealthy validation habits using the Think-Do-Say framework
• 17:00 – The Distance Dependent stage: calm on the surface, but still triggered by what you see
• 23:00 – Using self-focus and small wins to rewire your emotional patterns
• 28:00 – The Emotionally Equipped stage: meeting your own needs without over-relying on your partner
• 31:00 – How to bounce back after a setback without shame or spirals

💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:

• Jealousy isn’t just emotional—it becomes physical stress if left unchecked
• The Think-Do-Say model helps break compulsive habits by replacing them with conscious choices
• You can stop checking the phone without stopping all the habits—just start with one
• Self-validation is the gateway to emotional safety
• You don’t need your partner to fix your jealousy—you need tools to manage your emotional responses

❤️ Perfect for listeners who:

• Feel overwhelmed by jealousy or insecure thoughts in their relationship
• Are trying to stop spiraling and start self-soothing
• Want practical, non-judgmental tools for emotional growth
• Are ready to take their healing seriously but with compassion
• Crave deeper connection—without losing themselves

✍️ Leave a review and let us know—what stage do you see yourself in right now? And what’s one habit you’re working to change?

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Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn unpacks one of the most misunderstood truths about jealousy: it doesn’t start in your mind—it starts in your body.

If you’ve ever told yourself “I’m just going to think positive thoughts” or “I’ll be chill tonight”—only to spiral the moment your partner picks up their phone—then go ahead and hit play now.

Shanenn introduces a nervous system-based approach to jealousy, built around her signature BAM Method: Body And Mind. You’ll learn how to stop shaming your reactions, calm your nervous system, and respond in a healthier way—rather than fear, panic, or reactivity.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone stuck in the cycle of body-based jealousy and emotional spirals.

Golden Episode Nuggets:

💎 Jealousy isn’t crazy—it’s a stored survival response from your nervous system

💎 Your body reacts before your brain can even form a thought

💎 BAM = Body And Mind (Breathe, Acknowledge, Move) is your new reset tool

💎 A safer body allows you to choose a better thought

💎 Explaining your nervous system reactions to your partner can build deeper understanding

Key Moments:

• 3:25 – Why jealousy can’t be “thought away” (and why 95% of your reactions aren’t logical)
• 7:17 – The real reason your stomach drops when he texts—and what your nervous system is doing
• 10:28 – Introducing BAM: Why calming your body comes before calming your thoughts
• 15:02 – The “hot stove” analogy to help explain jealousy to your partner
• 19:33 – BAM, defined: Breathe. Acknowledge. Move.
• 24:51 – What to do when your body believes an old wound is happening again
• 27:42 – How to shift into your “choice moment” once your body feels safe

Resources Mentioned:

• Behind Your Jealous Mind Bootcamp – Join the next session starting June 18th. Register here
• Watch THIS episode on YouTube
• Shanenn's new podcast:
  • On Apple Lead Without Limits
  • On YouTube Lead Without Limits

Quote of the Episode:

Perfect for listeners who:

• Feel overwhelmed by jealousy, even when “nothing is happening”
• Struggle with reactivity, spiraling thoughts, or reassurance-seeking
• Want to learn nervous system tools to feel safe in their relationship
• Are ready to replace shame with self-compassion and emotional safety
• Are doing the deep work to heal attachment wounds and regulate from the inside out

📝 Leave a review and let us know—what’s one way you’re helping your

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Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with thought habit strategist and author Amy Kemp to unpack one of the most damaging patterns women struggle with—tying our self-worth to performance.

From subconscious thought loops to resentment signals, Amy shares the surprising truth behind why we feel exhausted, unseen, and over-obligated—and what we can do to reclaim our identity and energy.

If you're spiraling in your own pool of thoughts, this episode will help you understand the thought habits secretly draining you and how to replace them with empowering defaults.

Golden Episode Nuggets:

💎 You are not your thoughts—your brain’s habits can be rewired

💎 Resentment is a neon sign flashing: “Missing boundary here”

💎 “I should” and “I have to” are energy leaks disguised as productivity

💎 Confidence isn’t a feeling—it’s what shows up after you act

💎 Your natural genius is the thing that feels easy to you but amazes others

Key Moments:

· 3:45 – Why 80% of our thoughts are subconscious (and how to catch the unhealthy ones)

· 7:10 – The “value vs. performance” hand exercise that could change how you see yourself

· 12:50 – What resentment actually means (hint: it’s a missing boundary)

· 15:00 – The 3 most common toxic thought habits women carry

· 21:40 – The Resentment Audit: a practical way to uncover unspoken needs

· 25:15 – How to find your “natural genius” and stop undervaluing your gifts

About Our Guest:

Amy Kemp is a leadership coach, speaker, and author of I See You: A Guide for Women to Make More, Have More, and Be More. Her work helps women reprogram limiting thought habits so they can stop second-guessing themselves and start living and leading with clarity and energy.

Take her free Habit Finder assessment to discover your subconscious thought patterns and how to shift them at www.amykemp.com.

Resources Mentioned:

• The Habit Finder Assessment – Free at amykemp.com
• I See You by Amy Kemp – available on Amazon, Audible, and Bookshop.org

Quote of the Episode:

“Every time you feel resentment, imagine a neon sign flashing ‘Missing Boundary’—because your energy is trying to tell you something.” – Amy Kemp

Perfect for listeners who:

· Constantly feel like they “should be doing more”

· Struggle with people-pleasing, burnout, or overthinking

· Want to break free from perfectionism and performative self-worth

· Are ready to understand their energy leaks and reclaim peace

· Are looking to rediscover their identity beyond roles and titles

📝 Leave a review and let us know—what’s one thought habit you’re ready to rewire?

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Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with clinical psychologist and gratitude expert Dr. Peggy DeLong known as The Gratitude Psychologist to explore how gratitude can be a lifeline in life’s hardest seasons.

Whether you’re navigating grief, anxiety, or emotional overwhelm, Peggy shares the science and soul behind why gratitude is most powerful on your worst days not your best. From the moment she found comfort in a cup of hazelnut coffee while sitting at her fiancé’s deathbed, to her 5-minute daily gratitude practice, this episode is packed with perspective shifts that can change the way you cope, connect, and heal.

If you’ve ever thought “I know I should be grateful, but I just can’t right now,” this conversation is for you.

💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:

💡 Gratitude is most impactful in pain—not after it

💡 Saying “thank you” aloud triggers positive brain chemicals (dopamine + serotonin)

💡 You can’t feel anxious and grateful at the same time—gratitude interrupts worry

💡 Gratitude letters benefit your mood, even if you don’t send them

💡 Emotional pain always reveals a value—use that value to move forward

🔑 Key Moments:

• 3:30 – How a simple cup of coffee helped Peggy survive loss
• 7:15 – Why saying “thank you” aloud changes your brain chemistry
• 10:00 – The Reticular Activating System and how it filters what you notice
• 13:00 – The most important gratitude habit for improving mental health
• 18:00 – Gratitude letters: why they benefit the writer more than the recipient
• 20:00 – Using pain as a trigger to practice gratitude
• 24:30 – How gratitude can significantly improve your sleep
• 26:40 – The link between gratitude, resilience, and rewiring your brain

👩‍⚕️ About Our Guest:

Dr. Peggy DeLong is a licensed psychologist, speaker, author, and founder of the Feeling Good Institute. Known as “The Gratitude Psychologist,” she teaches people how to cultivate joy, emotional resilience, and well-being through the power of gratitude and positive psychology. Her programs, books, and workshops are designed to make science-backed tools feel simple and accessible for anyone—especially during difficult times.

Learn more at www.peggydelong.com

Follow her on Instagram: @drpeggydelong

📚 Resources Mentioned:

• Dr. Peggy’s Book: Feel the Good
• Her Signature Program: The Gratitude Experience

🎯 Perfect for Listeners Who:

• Struggle with anxiety, grief, or overthinking
• Want to rewire their brain for peace and resilience
• Need a simple, powerful way to start a gratitude prac

Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.



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Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with psychologist, leadership advisor, and author Bob Rosen to explore what it really means to let go—not of people, but of the stories, fears, and beliefs that silently run your life.

Whether you’re obsessively checking your partner’s texts, chasing success but never feeling satisfied, or stuck in pain from your past, Bob’s message is clear: your attachments are stealing your peace.

Together, they unpack how detaching from control, perfection, and outdated narratives helps you build emotional security, deeper relationships, and a more grounded sense of self-worth.

From the fear behind obsessive thoughts to the healing power of self-forgiveness, this episode is a must-listen for anyone ready to stop spiraling—and start feeling free.

💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:

💎 We obsess to feel in control—but it keeps us stuck in fear.

💎 Letting go of the past isn’t forgetting—it’s releasing your grip on pain.

💎 Control shows up as perfectionism, people-pleasing, and overthinking.

💎 True intimacy starts when we stop trying to manage the outcome.

💎 You can’t build a secure relationship without building self-trust first.

🔑 Key Moments:

· 3:00 – The 10 invisible attachments that are silently running your life

· 6:45 – How childhood wounds show up in your adult relationships

· 8:50 – Why control and perfection are actually fear-based addictions

· 12:10 – How to stay connected to your partner without getting consumed

· 16:00 – The real reason self-love is essential to relationship security

· 21:00 – What “obsessive thoughts” are trying to do—and how to break the loop

· 24:50 – Bob’s personal battle with addiction, and how he finally let go

· 29:00 – The success myth: why achievements won’t heal your insecurity

· 32:00 – Why we fear aging—and how to detach from youth-based worth

· 35:00 – How to take Bob’s Attachment Assessment and start your own healing

👤 About Our Guest:

Bob Rosen is a psychologist, leadership expert, and author of Detached: Letting Go to Gain Clarity, Control, and Peace. With decades of experience coaching Fortune 500 CEOs, Bob brings a unique blend of Eastern and Western psychology to help people release mental baggage and reclaim their peace.

He shares not only client stories but his own powerful personal journey—including his recovery from opiate addiction and perfectionism—and how letting go gave him his life back.

📍 Find Bob’s book, take the Attachment Assessment, or download his Book Club Kit at: www.bobrosen.com

📚 Resources Mentioned:

• Book: Detached: Letting Go to Gain Clarity, Control and Peace
• Free Attachment Assessment: bobrosen.com

✨ Quote of the Episode:

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Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with relationship and communication expert Dr. Jessica Higgins to unpack one of the sneakiest relationship saboteurs: criticism.

Whether you’re nitpicking over the garage door or bottling resentment until it explodes, criticism can quietly damage your emotional connection. Dr. Higgins breaks down why we criticize, how it's often tied to fear, insecurity, or control—and what to do instead.

From revealing instead of blaming, to communicating needs without making your partner defensive, this episode is packed with powerful reframes and tools to shift from criticism to connection.

Key Moments:

· 2:00 – Why criticism is often an attempt to control, not connect

· 6:00 – How to tell the difference between a complaint an emotional need

· 12:20 – What your criticism is actually trying to say

· 20:40 – How to turn a complaint into a “reveal or request”

· 29:00 – The neuroscience behind why we misread our partner’s silence

· 38:00 – A hilarious hot tub story that’ll test your jealousy triggers

Golden Episode Nuggets:

💎 Criticism is often a shield for unspoken fear or vulnerability

💎 Most people don’t sign up for unsolicited feedback in their relationships

💎 Turning a complaint into a request helps your partner want to meet your needs

💎 You can feel connected and secure—even in uncertain moments

💎 When you reveal your “real” feeling, your partner is more likely to show up for you

About Our Guest:

Dr. Jessica Higgins is a licensed psychologist, relationship coach, and host of the Empowered Relationship podcast. She helps couples break out of reactive patterns and build deeper emotional intimacy. Her work blends neuroscience, emotional intelligence, and practical tools to help couples thrive.

Her free guide, “Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication,” offers powerful real-life examples to help you reframe common communication pitfalls and start getting your needs met—without pushing your partner away.

Resources Mentioned:

• Free Guide: Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication (www.drjessicahiggins.com)

• The Gottman Institute’s Research on Criticism & the “Four Horsemen”

• Behind Your Jealous Mind Bootcamp – Register for the upcoming Bootcamp

Quote of the Episode:

“If I turn any complaint into a request or a reveal, I give my partner a chance to actually show up for me.” – Dr. Jessica Higgins

Perfect for listeners who:

· Criticize out of habit—and want a better way to be heard

· Struggle with jealousy, control, or emotional reactivity

· Want to feel more seen and understood in their relationship

· Are ready to break patterns that keep them disconnected

· Are working to build secure, emot

Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.



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Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

In this powerful episode of Top Self, host Shanenn Bryant sits down with Leah Lemberg, who shares her remarkable journey from growing up in an alcoholic home to becoming 16 years sober and helping others transform their lives. From IV drug use at 18 to finding sobriety and purpose, Leah's story offers hope and practical wisdom for anyone struggling with addiction, unhealthy patterns, or leadership challenges.

Golden Nuggets:

💎 "How am I complicit in creating the conditions that I say I don't want?" - A powerful question for self-reflection

💎 Creating space in your day for reflection helps you make better choices when triggered

💎 There's always a moment of choice between reactive patterns and intentional responses

💎 Recovery isn't just about abstinence - there's a "third way" that offers true freedom

💎 "How you show up here is how you show up everywhere" - Our patterns affect all areas of life

About Our Guest:

Leah Lemberg is a coach who combines her 16 years of sobriety experience with business leadership expertise. After transforming her own life, she now helps others apply 12-step principles to business and personal challenges. Her sobriety date is January 9, 2009.

Perfect for listeners who:

• Are struggling with addiction or have loved ones who are
• Want to break unhealthy patterns in their personal or professional lives
• Are interested in applying 12-step principles to business leadership
• Need strategies for self-reflection and emotional regulation
• Want to improve how they show up in their relationships and work

Resources Mentioned:

• Book: "Reboot" by Jerry Colonna

Key Moments:

• [00:01:07] Introduction to Leah Lemberg and her dog Ajax
• [00:02:28] Leah shares her background growing up in an alcoholic home
• [00:04:35] Discussion of the rarity of maintaining sobriety
• [00:06:27] How addiction affects family dynamics and connectivity
• [00:08:04] The impact of maintaining appearances and facades
• [00:09:23] Exploring hypervigilance and its effects on relationships
• [00:13:47] How Leah transformed her experiences into helping others
• [00:16:04] The powerful question: "How am I complicit in creating the conditions I say I don't want?"
• [00:18:26] Breakdown of the 12-step approach adapted for business and personal growth
• [00:20:48] The "Hansel and Gretel" approach to reflection and awareness
• [00:23:50] The "Trash Heap" analogy for making better choices
• [00:28:22] Leah's wisdom on finding "the third way" beyond using and white-knuckling

Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.



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Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with Dr. Greg Stewart, counselor, executive coach, and author to explore why insecurity might be the most valuable emotion we experience. Dr. Stewart shares his powerful framework for understanding emotional triggers and reveals how owning our insecurities can be the key to personal freedom.

From his concept of "the house of your heart" to practical techniques like "embrace the digs," Dr. Stewart offers a refreshing perspective on emotional intelligence that can transform how you experience your relationships.

Golden Nuggets:

💎 "The plain and simple fact that you can't stand it when you fail proves it's not who you are at your core." - Dr. Greg Stewart

💎 "What happens when we take things personally? The insult is impacting our value and worth. And it should not."

💎 "Your identity is you at your best. This takes the impact of failures and weaknesses down from devastating to just disappointing."

💎 "I don't need my partner to validate or pursue me. I want them to, but I don't need them to."

💎 "When a strength is taken too far, it becomes a weakness—especially when we experience negative emotion."

About Our Guest:

Dr. Greg Stewart is a counselor, executive coach, and consultant who spent 15 years as a pastor and 3 years in organizational development. He's the author of two books: "I Cubed" for individual growth and "I Cubed for Couples," with a third book "I Cubed for Leaders" in development. Dr. Stewart completed his PhD studying emotional intelligence and brings a unique perspective on healing from insecurity and developing healthy relationships.

Resources Mentioned:

• Dr. Greg Stewart's book "I Cubed" for individual growth and development
• Dr. Greg Stewart's book "I Cubed for Couples" for relationship development
• Coming Soon: "I Cubed for Leaders" (Fall release)

Perfect for listeners who:

• Struggle with jealousy or insecurity in their relationships
• Want to stop taking things personally and being easily triggered
• Need to break free from seeking validation from others
• Are working on building confidence and self-worth
• Want to understand the deeper causes of their emotional reactions

Action Steps:

1. Identify what lies you believe about yourself that cause "inflation of emotion"
2. Practice "embracing the digs" by owning truthful criticism instead of defending
3. Evaluate whether your need for validation is making you emotionally dependent
4. Recognize when your strengths might be taken too far and becoming weaknesses
5. Ask yourself "What did I lose?" from past trauma that you need to reclaim

Episode Highlights:

[00:01:16] Why insecurity is the "richest emotion" for what it can reveal about ourselves

[00:02:49] The concept of "inflation of emotion" and why we often react more intensely than situations warrant

[00:04:08] The three main reasons ou

Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.



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Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.