In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with psychologist, leadership advisor, and author Bob Rosen to explore what it really means to let go—not of people, but of the stories, fears, and beliefs that silently run your life.

Whether you’re obsessively checking your partner’s texts, chasing success but never feeling satisfied, or stuck in pain from your past, Bob’s message is clear: your attachments are stealing your peace.

Together, they unpack how detaching from control, perfection, and outdated narratives helps you build emotional security, deeper relationships, and a more grounded sense of self-worth.

From the fear behind obsessive thoughts to the healing power of self-forgiveness, this episode is a must-listen for anyone ready to stop spiraling—and start feeling free.

💎 Golden Episode Nuggets:

💎 We obsess to feel in control—but it keeps us stuck in fear.

💎 Letting go of the past isn’t forgetting—it’s releasing your grip on pain.

💎 Control shows up as perfectionism, people-pleasing, and overthinking.

💎 True intimacy starts when we stop trying to manage the outcome.

💎 You can’t build a secure relationship without building self-trust first.

🔑 Key Moments:

· 3:00 – The 10 invisible attachments that are silently running your life

· 6:45 – How childhood wounds show up in your adult relationships

· 8:50 – Why control and perfection are actually fear-based addictions

· 12:10 – How to stay connected to your partner without getting consumed

· 16:00 – The real reason self-love is essential to relationship security

· 21:00 – What “obsessive thoughts” are trying to do—and how to break the loop

· 24:50 – Bob’s personal battle with addiction, and how he finally let go

· 29:00 – The success myth: why achievements won’t heal your insecurity

· 32:00 – Why we fear aging—and how to detach from youth-based worth

· 35:00 – How to take Bob’s Attachment Assessment and start your own healing

👤 About Our Guest:

Bob Rosen is a psychologist, leadership expert, and author of Detached: Letting Go to Gain Clarity, Control, and Peace. With decades of experience coaching Fortune 500 CEOs, Bob brings a unique blend of Eastern and Western psychology to help people release mental baggage and reclaim their peace.

He shares not only client stories but his own powerful personal journey—including his recovery from opiate addiction and perfectionism—and how letting go gave him his life back.

📍 Find Bob’s book, take the Attachment Assessment, or download his Book Club Kit at: www.bobrosen.com

📚 Resources Mentioned:

Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.


Wanna feel more supported?
Join women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.


Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy



Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with relationship and communication expert Dr. Jessica Higgins to unpack one of the sneakiest relationship saboteurs: criticism.

Whether you’re nitpicking over the garage door or bottling resentment until it explodes, criticism can quietly damage your emotional connection. Dr. Higgins breaks down why we criticize, how it's often tied to fear, insecurity, or control—and what to do instead.

From revealing instead of blaming, to communicating needs without making your partner defensive, this episode is packed with powerful reframes and tools to shift from criticism to connection.

Key Moments:

· 2:00 – Why criticism is often an attempt to control, not connect

· 6:00 – How to tell the difference between a complaint an emotional need

· 12:20 – What your criticism is actually trying to say

· 20:40 – How to turn a complaint into a “reveal or request”

· 29:00 – The neuroscience behind why we misread our partner’s silence

· 38:00 – A hilarious hot tub story that’ll test your jealousy triggers

Golden Episode Nuggets:

💎 Criticism is often a shield for unspoken fear or vulnerability

💎 Most people don’t sign up for unsolicited feedback in their relationships

💎 Turning a complaint into a request helps your partner want to meet your needs

💎 You can feel connected and secure—even in uncertain moments

💎 When you reveal your “real” feeling, your partner is more likely to show up for you

About Our Guest:

Dr. Jessica Higgins is a licensed psychologist, relationship coach, and host of the Empowered Relationship podcast. She helps couples break out of reactive patterns and build deeper emotional intimacy. Her work blends neuroscience, emotional intelligence, and practical tools to help couples thrive.

Her free guide, “Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication,” offers powerful real-life examples to help you reframe common communication pitfalls and start getting your needs met—without pushing your partner away.

Resources Mentioned:

• Free Guide: Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication (www.drjessicahiggins.com)

• The Gottman Institute’s Research on Criticism & the “Four Horsemen”

• Behind Your Jealous Mind Bootcamp – Register for the upcoming Bootcamp

Quote of the Episode:

“If I turn any complaint into a request or a reveal, I give my partner a chance to actually show up for me.” – Dr. Jessica Higgins

Perfect for listeners who:

· Criticize out of habit—and want a better way to be heard

· Struggle with jeal

Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.


Wanna feel more supported?
Join women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.


Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy



Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

In this powerful episode of Top Self, host Shanenn Bryant sits down with Leah Lemberg, who shares her remarkable journey from growing up in an alcoholic home to becoming 16 years sober and helping others transform their lives. From IV drug use at 18 to finding sobriety and purpose, Leah's story offers hope and practical wisdom for anyone struggling with addiction, unhealthy patterns, or leadership challenges.

Golden Nuggets:

💎 "How am I complicit in creating the conditions that I say I don't want?" - A powerful question for self-reflection

💎 Creating space in your day for reflection helps you make better choices when triggered

💎 There's always a moment of choice between reactive patterns and intentional responses

💎 Recovery isn't just about abstinence - there's a "third way" that offers true freedom

💎 "How you show up here is how you show up everywhere" - Our patterns affect all areas of life

About Our Guest:

Leah Lemberg is a coach who combines her 16 years of sobriety experience with business leadership expertise. After transforming her own life, she now helps others apply 12-step principles to business and personal challenges. Her sobriety date is January 9, 2009.

Perfect for listeners who:

• Are struggling with addiction or have loved ones who are
• Want to break unhealthy patterns in their personal or professional lives
• Are interested in applying 12-step principles to business leadership
• Need strategies for self-reflection and emotional regulation
• Want to improve how they show up in their relationships and work

Resources Mentioned:

• Book: "Reboot" by Jerry Colonna

Key Moments:

• [00:01:07] Introduction to Leah Lemberg and her dog Ajax
• [00:02:28] Leah shares her background growing up in an alcoholic home
• [00:04:35] Discussion of the rarity of maintaining sobriety
• [00:06:27] How addiction affects family dynamics and connectivity
• [00:08:04] The impact of maintaining appearances and facades
• [00:09:23] Exploring hypervigilance and its effects on relationships
• [00:13:47] How Leah transformed her experiences into helping others
• [00:16:04] The powerful question: "How am I complicit in creating the conditions I say I don't want?"
• [00:18:26] Breakdown of the 12-step approach adapted for business and personal growth
• [00:20:48] The "Hansel and Gretel" approach to reflection and awareness
• [00:23:50] The "Trash Heap" analogy for making better choices
• [00:28:22] Leah's wisdom on finding "the third way" beyond using and white-knuckling

Schedule your FREE, 30-minute Discovery Call to see how I can help.


Wanna feel more supported?
Join women just like you who understand what you're going through and are there to support you. Join the SIS Membership today.


Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy



Disclaimer
The information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.