In this powerful episode, attachment expert Jessica Baum joins Adam Lane Smith to unpack one of the most essential yet misunderstood pillars of a healthy relationship: emotional safety. Together, they explore why safety isn’t just a “nice to have” in love, but a biological and psychological necessity that shapes the way we connect, heal, and grow. Whether you’ve struggled with abandonment wounds, anxious or avoidant patterns, or felt unseen in your relationships, this conversation offers deep clarity and actionable insights.

Topics Covered: 👉 Why many women unconsciously expect men to be a source of total safety and why that’s unsustainable 👉 How emotional safety is built through connection, rupture, and repair 👉 The impact of childhood attachment wounds and parental regulation on adult relationships 👉 How men's fear of vulnerability leads them to suppress the very tools that create intimacy 👉 Understanding neurosception and how the nervous system detects safety or threat 👉 Why safety isn’t “doing” more but “being” more present with pain and fear 👉 The unconscious tendency toward self-abandonment in order to maintain connection 👉 Why women often mistake a need for emotional parenting with romantic expectations 👉 The difference between selfless (fear driven) and selfful (grounded) caregiving

Emotional safety isn’t a destination. It’s a dynamic, living process between two people willing to show up, attune, and grow. If you're ready to understand your patterns and start healing from the inside out, this conversation is a must. Check out Jessica’s book for deeper insights and take Adam’s free attachment style quiz at adamlanesmith.com to begin building healthier connections today.

Stay tuned for more expert insights and relationship advice in future episodes! If you enjoyed this episode, you will probably love our episode titled ‘Attachment Specialist Fixes an Avoidant Woman’ https://youtu.be/zSaZrRedRUc

Need more help with your attachment? Work with Adam: www.adamlanesmith.com

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Follow the “I Wish You Knew” Podcast: -------------------------------------------------- Website: https://iwishyouknew.show/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theiwishyouknewpodcast/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@iwishyouknewshow Snapchat: https://www.snapchat.com/iwishyouknewpod Twitter /X: https://twitter.com/iwishyouknewpod Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ncc0MBgm04xTIQ5ByiCGI Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-wish-you-knew/id1713427809

-------------------------------------------------- Follow Adam Lane Smith: -------------------------------------------------- Website: https://adamlanesmith.com/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ Twitter /X: https://x.com/AdamLaneSmith Threads: https://www.threads.net/@attachmentadam Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro

---------- ---------------------------------------- Jessica Baum: Website: https://jessicabaumlmhc.com/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/jessicabaumlmhc/?hl=en

The next episode drops Thursday :) See you there.

Visit: https://iwishyouknew.show/ to lean more about the podcast

To Learn More About @AttachmentAdam

https://adamlanesmith.com/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/?hl=en

In this episode, Andrey and Adam dive deep into the foundations of trust-based communication in both professional and personal relationships. They unpack the dangers of transactional thinking, explore how poor communication sabotages connection, and offer practical insight into building relationships rooted in mutual respect rather than leverage.

Topics Covered: 👉 The danger of giving power based solely on talent 👉 Why standardization and Six Sigma don't inspire Gen Z workers 👉 The shift from performance-based to trust-based leadership 👉 How fear and unmet expectations destroy relationships 👉 The role of masculine relationships and loyalty in high-performing teams 👉 Love, loyalty, and servitude in business culture 👉 How attachment wounds impact negotiation and influence 👉 The legal and ethical principles of “good faith” negotiation 👉 Why old systems of influence are collapsing in the age of AI 👉 Why leverage-based leadership is unsustainable

If this conversation shifted the way you think about negotiation, leadership, or connection—there’s more where that came from. For deeper insight into building trust-based relationships in business and life, visit adamlainsmith.com.

Stay tuned for more expert insights and relationship advice in future episodes! If you enjoyed this episode, you will probably love our episode titled ‘Attachment Specialist Fixes an Avoidant Woman’ https://youtu.be/zSaZrRedRUc

Need more help with your attachment? Work with Adam: www.adamlanesmith.com

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Follow the “I Wish You Knew” Podcast: -------------------------------------------------- Website: https://iwishyouknew.show/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theiwishyouknewpodcast/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@iwishyouknewshow Snapchat: https://www.snapchat.com/iwishyouknewpod Twitter /X: https://twitter.com/iwishyouknewpod Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ncc0MBgm04xTIQ5ByiCGI Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-wish-you-knew/id1713427809

-------------------------------------------------- Follow Adam Lane Smith: -------------------------------------------------- Website: https://adamlanesmith.com/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ Twitter /X: https://x.com/AdamLaneSmith Threads: https://www.threads.net/@attachmentadam Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro

-------------------------------------------------- The next episode drops Thursday :) See you there.

Visit: https://iwishyouknew.show/ to lean more about the podcast

To Learn More About @AttachmentAdam

https://adamlanesmith.com/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/?hl=en

In this episode, Kelly Chase from Love Is Blind (Season 1) opens up about her journey from heartbreak and self-abandonment to healing, boundaries, and self-love. She shares what led her to go on the show, what she learned from the experience, and what she's looking for now in love, life, and relationships.

✨ Topics Covered: 👉 Why Kelly went on Love Is Blind and what she hoped to find 👉 The hidden reasons people stay in unhealthy relationships 👉 Her “aha” moment after the show ended 👉 What healthy ambition and partnership mean to her 👉 Dating challenges in today’s world—ghosting, emotional unavailability, and more 👉 Why looks aren’t enough and the power of personality 👉 The emotional cost of people-pleasing and external validation 👉 Navigating modern dating with healed energy and clearer boundaries 👉 What women truly want versus what society pushes 👉 Kelly's real talk on being loved with baggage—not despite it

Kelly’s story is a powerful reminder that healing takes courage, and love begins with the relationship you have with yourself. If you’ve ever felt stuck in dating cycles, this episode will speak to your heart.

Stay tuned for more expert insights and relationship advice in future episodes! If you enjoyed this episode, you will probably love our episode titled ‘Attachment Specialist Fixes an Avoidant Woman’ https://youtu.be/zSaZrRedRUc

Need more help with your attachment? Work with Adam: www.adamlanesmith.com

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Follow the “I Wish You Knew” Podcast: -------------------------------------------------- Website: https://iwishyouknew.show/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theiwishyouknewpodcast/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@iwishyouknewshow Snapchat: https://www.snapchat.com/iwishyouknewpod Twitter /X: https://twitter.com/iwishyouknewpod Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ncc0MBgm04xTIQ5ByiCGI Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-wish-you-knew/id1713427809

-------------------------------------------------- Follow Adam Lane Smith: -------------------------------------------------- Website: https://adamlanesmith.com/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ Twitter /X: https://x.com/AdamLaneSmith Threads: https://www.threads.net/@attachmentadam Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro

-------------------------------------------------- Kelly Chase: -------------------------------------------------- IG: https://www.instagram.com/chaselifewithkelly/?hl=en Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNqhN0CXWVATKfUjwrm65-g

The next episode drops Thursday :) See you there.

Visit: https://iwishyouknew.show/ to lean more about the podcast

To Learn More About @AttachmentAdam

https://adamlanesmith.com/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/?hl=en

In this episode, Aurora Culpo returns with a candid and emotionally honest update about her personal life. She opens up about the complexity of dating after heartbreak, the internal battles of self-worth, and how she’s navigating a new relationship under the scrutiny of public attention. From emotional triggers and attachment patterns to navigating jealousy and miscommunication, Aurora invites listeners into the real, often messy, human experience of love and healing. Whether you're single, dating, or rebuilding after pain, her vulnerability offers comfort, wisdom, and perspective.

✨ Key Topics Covered: 👉 Dealing with recurring disappointment in dating 👉 The power of being self-correcting in relationships 👉 Balancing vulnerability with privacy in public platforms 👉 How outside opinions can influence a new relationship 👉 Understanding oxytocin, dopamine, and emotional bonding 👉 The effect of family feedback on self-esteem 👉 Navigating jealousy and insecurity in modern dating 👉 How to approach tough conversations with your partner 👉 Miscommunication risks when texting emotional topics 👉 Attachment styles and how they shape connection

This is a grounded, heartfelt episode for anyone who’s ever questioned their worth in love, wrestled with their past, or tried to trust again.

Stay tuned for more expert insights and relationship advice in future episodes! If you enjoyed this episode, you will probably love our episode titled ‘Attachment Specialist Fixes an Avoidant Woman’ https://youtu.be/zSaZrRedRUc

Need more help with your attachment? Work with Adam: www.adamlanesmith.com

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Follow the “I Wish You Knew” Podcast: -------------------------------------------------- Website: https://iwishyouknew.show/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theiwishyouknewpodcast/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@iwishyouknewshow Snapchat: https://www.snapchat.com/iwishyouknewpod Twitter /X: https://twitter.com/iwishyouknewpod Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ncc0MBgm04xTIQ5ByiCGI Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-wish-you-knew/id1713427809

-------------------------------------------------- Follow Adam Lane Smith: -------------------------------------------------- Website: https://adamlanesmith.com/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ Twitter /X: https://x.com/AdamLaneSmith Threads: https://www.threads.net/@attachmentadam Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro ------------------------------------------------- Follow Aurora Cuplo: -------------------------------------------------- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJao_5jeoi6k1x4M03-v67g Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/auroraculpo/?hl=en Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@aurora_culpo?lang=en ------------------------------------------------- To Learn More About @AttachmentAdam

https://adamlanesmith.com/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/?hl=en

In this deep and vulnerable conversation, Kyle Cease opens up about his personal journey—from using comedy as a defense mechanism to confronting childhood trauma and stepping into authentic healing. He explores how false identities are formed through pain and how real transformation happens when we face the hidden parts of ourselves. With insights on attachment, inner work, spirituality, and the power of humor, this episode is both heart-opening and thought-provoking.

Topics Covered: 👉 Using comedy as a survival tool in childhood 👉 How childhood trauma shapes false identities 👉 Secure vs. anxious attachment styles 👉 The role of inner work in personal growth 👉 Letting go of external validation and people-pleasing 👉 The connection between sadness, humor, and healing 👉 Struggles with parental relationships and unmet expectations 👉 Social media, dopamine addiction, and emotional avoidance 👉 The tension between self-help culture and authenticity 👉 Why receiving can be difficult—and how to change that 👉 Allowing God or the present moment to guide transformation

Kyle’s story is a powerful reminder that healing doesn’t come from chasing success—it comes from turning inward, being honest with ourselves, and allowing the present moment to lead the way. Whether you're just beginning your healing journey or deep in the work, this episode offers insight, permission, and hope.

Stay tuned for more expert insights and relationship advice in future episodes! If you enjoyed this episode, you will probably love our episode titled ‘Attachment Specialist Fixes an Avoidant Woman’ https://youtu.be/zSaZrRedRUc

Need more help with your attachment? Work with Adam: www.adamlanesmith.com

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Follow the “I Wish You Knew” Podcast: -------------------------------------------------- Website: https://iwishyouknew.show/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theiwishyouknewpodcast/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@iwishyouknewshow Snapchat: https://www.snapchat.com/iwishyouknewpod Twitter /X: https://twitter.com/iwishyouknewpod Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ncc0MBgm04xTIQ5ByiCGI Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-wish-you-knew/id1713427809

-------------------------------------------------- Follow Adam Lane Smith: -------------------------------------------------- Website: https://adamlanesmith.com/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ Twitter /X: https://x.com/AdamLaneSmith Threads: https://www.threads.net/@attachmentadam Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro

-------------------------------------------------- Kyle Cease: -------------------------------------------------- IG: https://www.instagram.com/evolvingoutloud Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/kylecease

The next episode drops Thursday :) See you there.

Visit: https://iwishyouknew.show/ to lean more about the podcast

To Learn More About @AttachmentAdam

https://adamlanesmith.com/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/?hl=en

In this insightful episode, Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a renowned psychologist and expert on relationships and intimacy, joins attachment specialist Adam Lane Smith to answer one of the hardest questions couples face: Can a relationship ever truly recover after an affair? Whether you’ve experienced betrayal or fear it might happen, this episode offers honest answers and real hope.

Topics Covered 👉 The psychological impact of infidelity, including PTSD symptoms in betrayed partners 👉 Whether love and trust can truly be rebuilt after someone cheats 👉 Who cheats more—men or women? Exploring modern trends and cultural shifts 👉 What motivates infidelity, and how it’s often tied to identity and emotional disconnect 👉 How insecure attachment styles like anxious-avoidant dynamics set the stage for betrayal 👉 Why communication breakdowns lead to emotional distance and vulnerability to affairs 👉 The path to sexual healing after infidelity and why pleasure can be part of the repair 👉 Unlearning toxic sex scripts shaped by porn and cultural myths 👉 What a “bulletproof relationship” looks like, and how couples can protect against future betrayals 👉 The emotional and behavioral transformation required of the partner who cheated

Affairs can devastate—but they can also awaken. Dr. Solomon and Adam Lane Smith share how, with courage and commitment, couples can turn betrayal into breakthrough. For those navigating pain, rebuilding trust, or learning to love securely, this episode offers not just insight—but a roadmap.

Stay tuned for more expert insights and relationship advice in future episodes! If you enjoyed this episode, you will probably love our episode titled ‘Attachment Specialist Fixes an Avoidant Woman’ https://youtu.be/zSaZrRedRUc

Need more help with your attachment? Work with Adam: www.adamlanesmith.com

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Follow the “I Wish You Knew” Podcast: -------------------------------------------------- Website: https://iwishyouknew.show/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theiwishyouknewpodcast/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@iwishyouknewshow Snapchat: https://www.snapchat.com/iwishyouknewpod Twitter /X: https://twitter.com/iwishyouknewpod Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ncc0MBgm04xTIQ5ByiCGI Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-wish-you-knew/id1713427809

-------------------------------------------------- Follow Adam Lane Smith: -------------------------------------------------- Website: https://adamlanesmith.com/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ Twitter /X: https://x.com/AdamLaneSmith Threads: https://www.threads.net/@attachmentadam Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro

------------------------------------------------- Dr. Alexandra Solomon ------------------------------------------------- Website: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/alexandrahs1 ------------------------------------------------- The next episode drops Thursday :) See you there.

Visit: https://iwishyouknew.show/ to lean more about the podcast

To Learn More About @AttachmentAdam

https://adamlanesmith.com/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/?hl=en

In this episode, Andrey and Adam unpack the deep connection between attachment styles and personality disorders. Together, they explore how childhood trauma, neurological stress, and emotional dysregulation contribute to avoidant, anxious, and disorganized attachment—and how these patterns can evolve into more severe conditions like borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, and even schizophrenia. Adam challenges the medical model, offering hopeful insights on healing, brain health, and the possibility of recovery without relying solely on medication.

✨ Topics Covered ✨ 👉 The difference between attachment styles and personality disorders 👉 How avoidant behaviors can be self-protective—or damaging 👉 The impact of early childhood trauma on long-term attachment 👉 Why the medical model often mislabels people as “broken” 👉 How avoidant attachment differs from avoidant personality disorder 👉 The trauma roots of borderline personality disorder (BPD) 👉 The connection between high-performance households and emotional suppression 👉 What’s really happening in the brain during bipolar disorder 👉 The dangers of overmedication and brain inflammation 👉 Why even schizophrenia can be helped through functional systems 👉 Finland’s powerful approach to treating schizophrenia without meds 👉 How social bonding and oxytocin lead to brain healing 👉 Why chronic stress blocks your potential—and how attachment healing unlocks it 👉 A powerful metaphor about “loving a crocodile” and staying in unsafe emotional patterns

Healing from childhood trauma—especially when it starts as early as age 6—takes courage, patience, and truth. If this conversation helped you feel seen or understood, consider sharing it with someone who’s walking a similar path. You’re not alone—and there’s real hope for healing and freedom.

Stay tuned for more expert insights and relationship advice in future episodes! If you enjoyed this episode, you will probably love our episode titled ‘Attachment Specialist Fixes an Avoidant Woman’ https://youtu.be/zSaZrRedRUc

Need more help with your attachment? Work with Adam: www.adamlanesmith.com

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Follow the “I Wish You Knew” Podcast: -------------------------------------------------- Website: https://iwishyouknew.show/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theiwishyouknewpodcast/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@iwishyouknewshow Snapchat: https://www.snapchat.com/iwishyouknewpod Twitter /X: https://twitter.com/iwishyouknewpod Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ncc0MBgm04xTIQ5ByiCGI Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-wish-you-knew/id1713427809

-------------------------------------------------- Follow Adam Lane Smith: -------------------------------------------------- Website: https://adamlanesmith.com/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ Twitter /X: https://x.com/AdamLaneSmith Threads: https://www.threads.net/@attachmentadam Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro

-------------------------------------------------

The next episode drops Thursday :) See you there.

Visit: https://iwishyouknew.show/ to lean more about the podcast

To Learn More About @AttachmentAdam

https://adamlanesmith.com/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/?hl=en

In this episode, Evan Marc Katz joins Adam Lane Smith for a fiery and thought-provoking debate on one of the most challenging questions in relationships: Can we truly change our partner—or is it all about accepting them as they are? From practical dating strategies to deeper emotional dynamics, this conversation dives into the complexities of modern love and long-term compatibility.

✨ Key Topics Covered: 👉 Can good relationships be effortless—or do they always require "hard work"? 👉 Why trying to filter a future husband through dating profiles might be sabotaging your chances 👉 The hidden danger of rushing relationships due to urgency or age 👉 Do men doing more chores really lead to higher divorce rates? 👉 Why chemistry fades—and what truly keeps couples together long-term 👉 Understanding attachment styles: anxious vs. avoidant in real-life dynamics 👉 How discomfort can be a sign of growth in a healthy relationship 👉 Can emotionally avoidant men become devoted, secure partners? 👉 The power of conflict resolution and reading emotional cues 👉 What makes two people truly compatible—beyond cliches

Whether you're single and searching or in the middle of navigating a tough dynamic, this conversation offers powerful insights into love, growth, and emotional responsibility. To dive deeper into relationship skills, check out Adam's retreat offerings at https://adamlanesmith.com/retreat/?utm_source=youtube.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=avoidant&utm_content=descriptionlink

Stay tuned for more expert insights and relationship advice in future episodes! If you enjoyed this episode, you will probably love our episode titled ‘Attachment Specialist Fixes an Avoidant Woman’ https://youtu.be/zSaZrRedRUc

Need more help with your attachment? Work with Adam: www.adamlanesmith.com

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Follow the “I Wish You Knew” Podcast: -------------------------------------------------- Website: https://iwishyouknew.show/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theiwishyouknewpodcast/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@iwishyouknewshow Snapchat: https://www.snapchat.com/iwishyouknewpod Twitter /X: https://twitter.com/iwishyouknewpod Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ncc0MBgm04xTIQ5ByiCGI Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-wish-you-knew/id1713427809

-------------------------------------------------- Follow Adam Lane Smith: -------------------------------------------------- Website: https://adamlanesmith.com/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/ Twitter /X: https://x.com/AdamLaneSmith Threads: https://www.threads.net/@attachmentadam Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro

-------------------------------------------------- Evan Marc Katz: -------------------------------------------------- IG: https://www.instagram.com/realevanmarckatz/?hl=en Website: https://www.evanmarckatz.com/

The next episode drops Thursday :) See you there.

Visit: https://iwishyouknew.show/ to lean more about the podcast

To Learn More About @AttachmentAdam

https://adamlanesmith.com/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/?hl=en