“In many ways, sibling estrangement is like mourning the living.”

After witnessing firsthand the heartache of fractured sibling relationships, journalist Fern Schumer Chapman embarked on a journey to understand and heal family estrangement–in her own life and those of others.

Our host Ed Coambs chats with Fern as she shares her deeply personal experiences and professional insights from her book, Brothers, Sisters, Strangers: Sibling Estrangement and the Road to Reconciliation. As the daughter of a Holocaust refugee, her story brings a unique and poignant perspective to this often misunderstood issue, shedding light on how trauma can ripple through generations.

“Sibling estrangement is an expression of a family system.”

Fern guides us through the different types of estrangement, from physical separation to emotionally distant relationships, and brings up the difficult question of whether reconciliation is even possible. Emotions run deep as they address the feelings of unlovability and failure that often accompany estrangement, and talk about the cultural barriers that prevent open discussion of these difficult topics.

“If you shut down the relationship here and now, you’re not just affecting this relationship. You’re affecting this generation and possibly the next.”

Aging and life transitions can also complicate sibling dynamics, often bringing hidden tensions to the surface during moments of crisis, such as parental illness or inheritance disputes. Ed and Fern analyze risk factors like narcissism, mental health challenges, and political differences that can strain sibling bonds.

Fern asks us to never forget the value of strong foundational relationships, offering guidance and hope for those navigating the rocky terrain of sibling estrangement.

Key Topics:

• Why Fern Writes on Sibling Estrangement (02:51)
• Defining “Family System” (05:05)
• Sibling Estrangement Risk Factors (07:11)
• Defining “Sibling Estrangement” (8:26)
• Navigating the Estrangement-Reconciliation Cycle (17:22)
• How Your Children’s Behavior May Trigger Your Own Fears and Insecurities (24:22)
• Other Sibling Estrangement Risk Factors (26:11)

Connect With Healthy Love and Money:

1. Schedule your free 30-minute Discovery Call About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.
2. Learn about your money and attachment style with this short Attachment Style Quiz.
3. Buy the Double Award Winning Book: The Healthy Love and Money Way.
4. Hit Follow on Your Favorite Podcast Player To Get the Latest Episodes.

“If somebody's emotionally activated, then we can't do the problem-solving and the logical thinking that we know is needed in the financial planning world.”

Can a shift in conversation style transform lives? Our host Ed Coambs sits down with Christine Miles, a licensed clinical social worker, and expert in motivational interviewing (MI). Christine uncovers the incredible power of MI and how this groundbreaking technique helps people stuck or struggling to make pivotal changes. Ed and Christine discuss how MI isn’t just for therapy—it’s a versatile tool used in financial planning, real estate, addiction therapy, and healthcare. Christine shares the fascinating origins of MI, created by Stephen Rollnick and William Miller, and its foundational role in fostering effective and supportive communication.

Have you ever wondered why some expert advice just doesn’t seem to stick? Christine explains the importance of understanding a client's readiness for change and how a supportive communication style can prevent resistance and disengagement. Christine emphasizes the need for promoting autonomy and how a non-confrontational approach can lead to better outcomes. By adopting MI principles such as acceptance, compassion, and curiosity, professionals can create environments that encourage meaningful and thoughtful decision-making.

Ed and Christine explore the emotional complexities in financial decision-making and how moral beliefs and the autonomic nervous system play a role. Christine illustrates how MI can help navigate these emotional responses, making space for logical problem-solving and better financial planning. Take a moment after the episode to reflect on your own journey toward financial intimacy, and don't forget to share this insightful conversation with others who might benefit.

Key Topics:

• Welcome, Christine Miles! (00:00)
• The Origins and Principles of Motivational Interviewing (04:50)
• Directive vs. Motivational Communications Styles (06:46)
• Emotions in Financial Planning (11:15)
• The Importance of Trust in Financial Advising (36:14)
• The Stages of Change in Motivational Interviewing (40:54)
• Further Benefits of Motivational Interviewing (43:51)

Resources:

• MICenterForChange.com

Connect With Healthy Love and Money:

1. Schedule your free 30-minute Discovery Call About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.
2. Learn about your money and attachment style with this short Attachment Style Quiz.
3. Buy the Double Award Winning Book: The Healthy Love and Money Way.
4. Hit Follow on Your Favorite Podcast Player To Get the Latest Episodes.

“When you can have someone who's not your partner point out to you what’s [actually] going on, man, you get to wake up, and it's really more fun when you’re awake.” -Reagan

What if our deepest emotional patterns are secretly sabotaging our financial stability? Join our host Ed Coambs for a poignant conversation with his clients Reagan and Elle Pugh, a dynamic couple dedicated to navigating the complexities of personal and relational development.

They unravel their journey of self-discovery and relationship enhancement through the transformative power of the Enneagram, illuminating how understanding these patterns has reshaped their approach to life and finances. Their candid discussions provide valuable insights into overcoming ingrained behaviors and fostering transparent, growth-oriented financial conversations.

To truly achieve financial intimacy, couples must navigate the emotional undercurrents that often accompany money matters. Reagan and Elle’s experience offers a masterclass in transforming these sensitive conversations into opportunities for growth and connection.

By working with Ed and his therapy-informed approaches, and fostering open communication, Reagan and Elle illustrate how to make financial discussions both enjoyable and productive. Don’t miss this episode of Healthy Love and Money which explores the profound impact of financial collaboration and the strides towards creating a shared vision of abundance.

Key Topics:

• Elle and Reagan’s Journey with Money and Personal Growth (00:00)
• The Role of Therapy and the Enneagram in Their Relationship (04:25)
• Reagan’s Book “Too Emotional” and Its Journey (06:01)
• Financial Struggles and Overcoming Debt (16:01)
• The Importance of a Guide in the Financial Journey (21:17)
• Emotions and Financial Decisions (22:26)
• The Role of Play and Celebration in Financial Health (41:04)
• Final Thoughts on Financial Intimacy (46:04)

Resources:

• BeyondYourType.co
• TooEmotionalBook.com

Connect With Healthy Love and Money:

1. Schedule your free 30-minute Discovery Call About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.
2. Learn about your money and attachment style with this short Attachment Style Quiz.
3. Buy the Double Award Winning Book: The Healthy Love and Money Way.
4. Hit Follow on Your Favorite Podcast Player To Get the Latest Episodes.

“Being a practicing financial planner does not absolve me from, you know, silly attachments that don't make financial sense.”

What does it take to foster true financial intimacy in a relationship? Listen in as our host Ed Coambs unravels the journey of Joey Loss, a fellow financial planner, and Elizabeth Loss, who works in the nonprofit sector, as they navigate the complexities of financial harmony. From their early days of dating to their recent marriage and the birth of their daughter, their story is a testament to the power of mutual respect, open communication, and shared values.

In this episode, Joey and Elizabeth open up about the pivotal moments that shaped their financial partnership. They recount how even their first date watching a Jacksonville Jaguars game subtly set the stage for future money conversations. From Joey’s leap into entrepreneurship to the emotional decision to sell the cherished Jeep, the couple candidly discusses how they merged their financial lives. Their approach to financial planning has been both incremental and organic, allowing them to manage significant transitions without losing sight of their relational harmony.

What makes their story truly inspiring is how they balance living for today with saving for the future. Joey and Elizabeth share heartfelt anecdotes about valuing experiences over material possessions, the importance of investing in relationships, and maintaining financial transparency. As they reflect on their journey, they offer invaluable insights for couples looking to deepen their financial intimacy and foster a stronger, more understanding relationship. Tune in to learn how you can apply these principles to your own life and set the foundation for a financially harmonious partnership.

Key Topics:

• How Joey and Elizabeth met and Their Story (02:28)
• First Major Financial Conversions and Navigating Transitions (07:04)
• Balancing Financial Security and Relational Experiences (18:07)
• The Role of Emotional Attachment in Financial Decisions (30:38)
• Building Financial Intimacy (38:44)
• Joey’s and Elizabeth’s Future Aspirations (39:00)

Resources:

• Flow Financial
• Wealth Unplugged Podcast

Connect With Healthy Love and Money:

1. Schedule your free 30-minute Discovery Call About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.
2. Learn about your money and attachment style with this short Attachment Style Quiz.
3. Buy the Double Award Winning Book: The Healthy Love and Money Way.
4. Hit Follow on Your Favorite Podcast Player To Get the Latest Episodes.

“I think that we focus on these metrics that don't mean anything. My metric is, am I able to travel the way I want? And I have the numbers for that.”

On this episode of the Healthy Love and Money, our host Ed Coambs welcomes Vonmarie Thomas, a passionate bookkeeper and accountant who turned her fascination with clean financial management into a thriving career. Vonmarie takes us on a journey, sharing her admiration for Warren Buffett and the invaluable lessons learned from her family's financial struggles and triumphs after emigrating from the Dominican Republic. Her story is not just about numbers; it's a tribute to resilience and the inspiration to help others achieve financial peace.

Money and emotions often go hand in hand, especially when it comes to taxes. Vonmarie emphasizes the importance of providing comfort and practical advice to clients who feel overwhelmed. Through relatable anecdotes and solid guidance, Ed and Vonmarie explore how addressing financial concerns, no matter how delayed, can unlock new freedoms and empower individuals to pursue their life goals. The conversation aims to demystify financial crises, showing that they are often more manageable than they appear.

From making timely tax payments to avoiding all-or-nothing thinking, Vonmarie's insights are a treasure trove for anyone looking to understand their financial standing better. Ed and Vonmarie highlight the indispensable role of bookkeepers and accountants, demonstrating how their expertise can convert financial chaos into clarity and organization, ultimately contributing to both personal and business success.

Key Topics:

• Vonmarie’s Journey into Bookkeeping and Accounting (01:24)
• Challenges and Solutions in Bookkeeping (03:49)
• Organizing Financial Records and Staying on Top of Bookkeeping (16:16)
• Overcoming Financial Anxiety and Celebrating Small Wins (19:15)
• The Importance of Estimated Tax Payments (23:43)
• Financial Transparency in Relationships (33:02)
• Wrap-Up and Working with Vonmarie (35:51)

Resources:

• Vonmarie on LinkedIn
• Vonmarie on Instagram

Connect With Healthy Love and Money:

1. Schedule your free 30-minute Discovery Call About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.
2. Learn about your money and attachment style with this short Attachment Style Quiz.
3. Buy the Double Award Winning Book: The Healthy Love and Money Way.
4. Hit Follow on Your Favorite Podcast Player To Get the Latest Episodes.

“We try to fix the financial vehicle without fixing the driver. So that's why, to me, mindset, behavior is so important. Until we change as individuals, giving ourselves a faster portfolio is not going to work, so we as investors have to become better investors, and then worry about finding better investments.”

Our host Ed Coambs welcomes Chad Hufford of Veritas Alaska to the Healthy Love and Money Podcast. Ed and Chad shed light on why you must become a savvy investor before chasing the next big opportunity. They underscore that financial success stems from disciplined habits and effective coaching.

Reflecting on Chad's homeschooling experience in the eighties, they illustrate the critical balance between education and execution. By drawing parallels between physical fitness and financial health, the discussion highlights the virtues of discipline, patience, and continuous effort. You'll discover why having a robust financial blueprint is essential for connecting your current actions with future goals, steering clear of the pitfalls of hasty decisions and overambitious plans.

Tackling the often-overlooked issue of financial stress and shame, Chad's insights normalize open money conversations. Ed and Chad discuss the significance of attaching meaning and purpose to financial goals, introducing Chad’s book, "Forging Financial Freedom," which champions mindset shifts in wealth building. This episode will guide you to foster healthier financial attitudes and build a life of meaningful wealth.

Key Topics:

• Welcome, Chad Hufford! (01:35)
• Lifelong Learning and the Connection between Physical Fitness and Financial Discipline (02:19)
• Balancing Education and Execution in Financial Planning (07:21)
• Personal Finance and Future Planning (12:57)
• How Shame and Fear Impact Financial Decisions (17:46)
• Normalizing Conversations about Money and Personal Finance (19:52)
• Regaining Control of Finances for a Better Life (25:25)
• The Importance of Mindset in Wealth-Building and Financial Independence (29:49)
• Wealth, Relationships, and Mindset with a Financial Advisor (34:57)

Resources:

• VeritasAlaska.com
• @veritas.alaska on IG
• Forging Financial Freedom (book)

Connect With Healthy Love and Money:

1. Schedule your free 30-minute Discovery Call About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.
2. Learn about your money and attachment style with this short Attachment Style Quiz.
3. Buy the Double Award Winning Book:

“Let me get curious instead of furious. Help me understand.”

What if your financial habits were not just personal quirks but reflections of deep-seated family imprints? Our host Ed Coambs sits down with Johanna Lynn, founder of the Family Imprint Institute, as they uncover the profound connection between financial behaviors and familial and cultural backgrounds. Johanna's expertise in epigenetics offers a unique lens to understand how early childhood experiences and unresolved family issues shape our money habits and partner choices. Her mantra of "getting curious rather than furious" provides a powerful tool for maintaining open and productive financial dialogues within relationships.

Ed and Johanna explore how family imprints can unconsciously influence our financial decisions and how recognizing these patterns can lead to healthier relationship dynamics. Johanna shares practical insights into how unmet needs and emotional deficits from childhood translate into our financial self-worth as adults. The conversation illuminates the importance of self-awareness and reflective practices in transitioning from reactive to intentional financial behaviors.

Navigating financial values in relationships can be a complex journey, but Johanna offers practical solutions and communication strategies to address these differences. This episode invites you to reflect on your own financial journey and embrace the concept of financial intimacy, offering valuable insights for personal growth and healthier relationships.

Key Topics:

• Welcome Johanna Lynn! (01:32)
• Epigenetics and its Impact on Financial Patterns and Relationships (04:09)
• How Family Dynamics Shape Financial Behaviors and Decisions (09:37)
• How Childhood Experiences Shape One’s Relationship with Money (14:34)
• Managing Money Differences in Relationships (29:34)
• Understanding Money DNA and its Impact on Relationships (36:31)

Resources:

• Johanna Lynn Online

Connect With Healthy Love and Money:

1. Schedule your free 30-minute Discovery Call About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.
2. Learn about your money and attachment style with this short Attachment Style Quiz.
3. Buy the Double Award Winning Book: The Healthy Love and Money Way.
4. Hit Follow on Your Favorite Podcast Player To Get the Latest Episodes.

“It can be simultaneously true that our parents did the best they could with what they had, and that we inherited insecure attachment patterns from them because that's what they had, and that those inherited patterns have caused us some pain, dysregulation, grief, loss in our lives, and so the blame is not on the parent. It’s on the pattern.”

When life gives you unresolved traumas and childhood emotional wounds, how can you rebuild your capacity for love and financial intimacy? Our host Ed Coambs sits down with Eli Harwood, affectionately known as the "Attachment Nerd,” who shares her personal expedition from discovering attachment theory through her own therapy sessions to becoming a sought-after therapist and social media educator. Eli provides a candid account of how understanding our inherited attachment patterns can be a pivotal step toward emotional healing and making sense of our default emotional settings.

Eli and Ed take us on a journey through the long and transformative process of healing attachment patterns. They reflect on the impact of childhood experiences and parental influence on our emotional and relational lives. By exploring these foundational aspects, they uncover how these early attachments shape our future relationships, coping mechanisms, and even our approach to money.

Ed and Eli also address the crucial role of parenting in fostering secure attachments and emotional resilience in children. Eli shares practical parenting strategies that don't project our own coping mechanisms onto our kids but instead empower them to handle life's challenges with confidence. Connecting these insights to financial stress, they demonstrate how our early attachment patterns influence our financial behaviors and attitudes. All this and much more inside this special episode of Healthy Love and Money!

Key Topics:

• Welcome, Eli Harwood! (01:21)
• Attachment Theory and Personal Growth through Reflection and Action (06:00)
• Blame Lies with the Pattern, not the Parent(s) (12:09)
• How Childhood Experiences Shape Adult Emotional Coping Mechanisms (18:19)
• Attachment Theory and its Impact on Money Experiences and Behaviors (24:50)
• Introversion and Attachment Patterns (30:35)
• Parenting and Attachment Theory, Showing Up, Listening, and Lighting Up (37:02)
• How Family Dynamics Impact End-Of-Life Care and Estate Planning (42:02)
• Secure Attachment and its Impact on Financial Intimacy (46:39)

Resources:

• Attachment Nerd
• Books from Eli Hardwood
• Attachment Nerd Podcast

Connect With Healthy Love and Money:

1. Schedule your free 30-minute Discovery Call About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.
2. Learn about your money and attachment style with this short Attachment Style Quiz.
3. Buy the Double Award Winning Book: