It's easy to let our thoughts sink into the "shoulds" that have been programmed into us:

"I should be able to handle this: other people say it's easy."

"He should be able to get ready and go to school by himself - he's old enough now."

"I should have paid my taxes weeks ago - why does this feel so hard?"

However, running our lives on "shoulds" often robs us of the joy and creative life-energy that is our human divine right, and robs us of our need for choice fulness.

In this episode, we have three different discussions centered around what we "should" or "shouldn't" do, as we dive into the idea of authentic choice fulness:

• 1:10 Help! I don't want to go back to my dentist!"
• 16:56 How to give a voice to competing parts of ourselves
• 22:08 What does healing look like?
• 24:20 How can I have "radical acceptance" for a situation that's hard?
• 32:29 How do I look after myself while also caring for the needs of my child?
• 36:02 Is there such a thing as an "anti-need"?

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When we want to stay in relationship with people who have hurt us, it's important for us to figure out a way to connect with them in a way that keeps us open hearted and also protected.

But how, exactly, can we show up open heartedly in ways that also protect us and keep us safe?

That's where open hearted and loving boundaries come in. In this episode we explore:

• 1:00 How can I make the implicit explicit?
• 12:00 It takes discipline to focus on what's working
• 16:13 I feel exhausted and hurt by my sister's behavior. How can I make it better?
• 22:09 What does a healthy relationship look like?
• 30:27 What open hearted boundaries can sound like
• 36:24 We get to choose who we let into our lives

—

Thank you for tuning in. Remember to subscribe so you get notified when I publish an episode weekly.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Follow me on YouTube
• Join my membership program
• Come to my Winter 2025 Retreat: Getting Grounded in Your Goodness
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

We've all been well trained in the rules of the game we all know. We've been taught to be dutiful children, loving siblings, tolerant friends.

But when some of us realize that we've outgrown the status quo, it can feel like an act of rebellion and revolution as we transform the rules of a system that no longer works for us in search for a more authentic way of life.

At the very beginning of this episode, I walk through my "Getting to the Heart of the Matter" Flowchart, a tool designed to transform conversations away from shame and blame and towards authentic, loving connection. We then explore transforming cultural norms for healthier relationships and delve into:

• 1:03 A tour of my "Getting to the Heart of the Matter" Flowchart
• 6:40 My niece sulks and pouts if she doesn't win a game
• 11:14 An alternative to winning/losing
• 16:01 I feel bad. Does that mean I AM bad?
• 17:18 My friends are slower than I prefer. What can I do to change them?
• 22:30 Help! I'm my father's caregiver, and I'm burned out.
• 25:08 Resentment and disgust signal a need for a boundary
• 27:16 The journey back to wholeness can be counter cultural
• 41:51 How can I connect with my adult daughter?
• 47:09. The 2 keys to successful giving

—

Thank you for tuning in. Remember to subscribe so you get notified when I publish an episode weekly.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Follow me on YouTube
• Join my membership program
• Come to my Winter 2025 Retreat: Getting Grounded in Your Goodness
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus