This episode is the third in our conflict mini-series, if you missed the last two, definitely go back and catch them! Two weeks ago, we walked through six steps for healthy conflict. Last week, we hit the self-sabotage pitfalls that derail it. And this week? We're laying out a step-by-step path for self-regulation, the actual work you can do before the conversation even begins.

Whether it's naming that you're triggered, taking 20 minutes to calm your brain, or journaling out what you really feel (instead of reacting from anger), this episode gives you a clear, practical roadmap. Conflict doesn't have to be chaotic and knowing your number just helps you navigate it better.

Oh, and yes... Scott’s Tots comes up. You’ve been warned.

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Last week, we laid out a six-step process for navigating conflict, but let’s be honest, sometimes the real struggle is what happens before the steps even start. In this follow-up episode, Damon and Kelly unpack the emotional landmines that often sabotage our best intentions in conflict.

From blame to emotional avoidance, they explore five self-sabotage traps and how each Enneagram type might fall into them. Whether you're a Nine trying to keep the peace, a One trying to make it right, or a Four deep in your feelings, this episode will help you recognize what’s getting in the way, and why it matters.

Stay tuned next week for the follow-up: how to move toward emotional self-regulation when conflict arises.

• The five emotional traps that sabotage healthy conflict
• How your Enneagram number may fall into specific pitfalls
• Why “blame” is emotionally satisfying — and what it costs you
• The subtle ways we numb, bury, or get stuck in unhealthy patterns
• How recognizing self-sabotage is the first step toward change

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Conflict doesn’t have to mean shouting matches or broken relationships.

This week on Beyond Your Number, Damon and Kelly dive into a topic that touches every relationship—conflict. They unpack how different Enneagram numbers experience disagreements, why some avoid it while others charge in, and how even small differences in opinion can feel like big battles for certain types.

Kelly shares a practical six-step roadmap for moving from destructive arguments to healthy, constructive conflict—including tips on picking the right time and place (hint: maybe skip the bedroom), why driving or walking might help guys talk, and how simply being heard can sometimes be enough resolution.

Whether you’re passive, aggressive, or somewhere in between, this episode is packed with tools to help you navigate disagreements without losing your voice—or blowing up bridges.

1. Set a time and place for discussion
2. Name the issue (on your own)
3. Explore possible solutions (on your own)
4. Discuss perspectives and solutions together
5. Choose a resolution together
6. Set a time and place to evaluate

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We’ve made it to the end of our Enneagram communication series—and it’s Damon’s turn in the hot seat as we talk all things Type 9!

In this episode, Damon wrestles with “Nine doubt,” shares why he’s skeptical about gentle communication styles, and admits he might be a secret One. Kelly unpacks what truly drives the Peacemaker’s calm exterior, and why the word “sure” doesn’t always mean agreement.

Together, they explore how Nines communicate, how to draw out their hidden opinions, and the lifelong challenge of choosing between peacekeeping and peacemaking. It’s equal parts insight and laughs—and a perfect wrap-up to this series!

• Damon confesses his “Nine doubt” (and wonders if he’s really a One)
• What “sure” actually means when a Nine says it
• The difference between peacemaking and peacekeeping
• Why decisions—even small ones—feel like conflict to Nines
• How Nines can practice healthy conflict and assertiveness
• Journaling, Netflix, and Damon
• Kelly’s tips for drawing out a Nine’s true thoughts and feelings
• The hilarious story of Damon’s fireworks plan
• “What Nines want you to know”—straight from Damon himself

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Double-booked calendars, fast-talking optimism, and more ideas than minutes in the day…welcome to the world of the Enneagram 7!

In this (slightly turbo) episode of Beyond Your Number, Damon and Kelly explore how Type 7s approach communication, why they’re magnets for new experiencesand how to keep up without getting lost in the whirlwind.

• Why “yes” is a 7’s favorite word
• The line between healthy optimism and escaping reality
• How to invite a 7’s input and why it matters
• Practical ways to communicate without overwhelming them
• The secret sauce: saying “Wow!” before “How?”

Whether you’re a 7, love a 7, or just wonder how they stay so upbeat, this episode is packed with laughter and real-life insights to help every personality connect better.

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What’s it like to talk with a Type 8? Passionate. Direct. Powerful. And sometimes, intense. In this episode, Kelly shares from her own experience as a Type 8—what works, what doesn't, and what eights most need from you in communication. Damon helps us see how that energy can feel to others, especially when it gets misunderstood. Whether you're an Eight, love one, or work with one, this conversation unpacks the heart behind the boldness and the vulnerability behind the strength.

Episode Highlights:

• Why directness is a strength—but also a challenge—for Type 8s
• Kelly shares how texting “OK” nearly caused a crisis
• The difference between being blunt vs. being clear
• What Eights really mean when their volume goes up
• How to hold space for a powerful personality without backing down
• Why protecting people and causes drives how Eights communicate
• How to gain trust and connection with a Type 8 (and what breaks it)
• Damon’s reminder: “Don’t match intensity—just be yourself.”
• What Eights want you to know but won’t always say out loud

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Type Fives are thoughtful, observant, and incredibly insightful—if you give them the space to speak. In this episode, Damon and Kelly unpack how Fives approach communication, why they avoid surface-level conversations, and what it really takes to earn their input and trust. If you’ve ever wondered what’s going on behind a Five’s quiet presence, this one’s for you.

In This Episode:

• Why Type Fives value space, privacy, and logic in conversations
• The strengths of Fives: listening, simplifying, and strategic thinking
• How to communicate with Fives: clear expectations, emotional patience, and deadlines
• The challenge of emotional expression and how Fives can grow
• Real-life team dynamics and funny truths about meeting leadership

New here? Check out Episode 100 to hear how each Enneagram type handles change—and where this podcast is heading next.

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How do you talk with someone who’s always giving, always helping, and always putting others first? In this episode, Damon and Kelly dive into the warm, people-focused world of the Enneagram Two — and why communication with them can feel like a hug, a therapy session, and a pep talk all in one.

Whether you are a 2 or love one, this conversation unpacks what motivates them, how to respond to their generosity, and why setting boundaries is key to real connection.

In This Episode:

• The superpower of Twos: empathy, generosity, and relational radar
• Why Twos ask “how are you?” — and really mean it
• The danger of overextending: when helping becomes self-forgetting
• How to communicate with a Two instead of being steamrolled by one
• A growth path: pausing before saying “yes” and practicing self-care

New here? Catch Episode 100 to hear how each Enneagram type handles change — and how this series came to life.

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