After betrayal, it’s easy to believe that your best days are behind you. That the pain you’re in now will always be part of you. But what if this isn’t the end of your story? What if it’s the beginning of something deeper, truer, and more aligned with who you really are?

In this uplifting episode, I share the often untold truth about healing from infidelity: that it doesn’t just break you, it can build you. From rock bottom, we talk about what it means to rise strong. You’ll hear how emotional resilience, self-trust, and clarity can grow not in spite of the betrayal, but because of how you move through it.

Whether you’re still in the thick of it or slowly finding your footing, this episode is your reminder: you are not broken. You’re becoming.

• Rock bottom is a foundation. It’s not the end of your story, but the start of intentional rebuilding.
• Post-traumatic growth is real. Betrayal can lead to deeper resilience, clarity, and self-trust.
• You don’t have to choose the betrayal to reclaim the power of choice. Your response is where your strength lives.
• Healing isn’t about perfection; it’s about becoming more fully you.
• You’re allowed to want more than survival. Joy, connection, and meaning are still available to you.

Reflect on this: What’s one positive shift, however small, you’ve noticed in yourself since the betrayal? Let that be your thread of hope.

I’d love to hear your story. Come share your reflections with me on Instagram or in the Facebook group. You’re not alone on this path.

If this episode resonated, take a moment to rate, review, or share it with someone who might need a reminder that healing is possible.

Connect with Luke:

• Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
• Instagram: @mylifecoachluke
• Email: luke@lifecoachluke.com

Join the After the Affair community at www.facebook.com/groups/aftertheaffaircommunity

Disgust isn’t just a passing reaction. For many betrayed partners, it’s a visceral, body-based response that no amount of logic or reassurance can dissolve.

In this episode, we unpack one of the most misunderstood trauma responses after infidelity: disgust. Why it shows up. What it’s really saying. And how to respond to it without shame.

This is for anyone who’s ever recoiled at the sight or touch of the person they used to love, and then judged themselves for it.

• Disgust is a protective trauma response, not a moral failing.
• It often stems from your nervous system flagging something as unsafe, not from conscious thought.
• Shame often follows disgust, creating an inner loop of silence, self-blame, and confusion.
• Healing starts by validating your body’s response, not forcing it to move faster than it’s ready.
• Safety, not guilt, is the antidote to disgust

If this episode resonated with you, join the Chaos to Clarity group coaching program, a supportive space where your healing isn’t rushed, your voice is heard, and your nervous system is finally allowed to feel safe again.

Connect with Luke:

• Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
• Instagram: @mylifecoachluke
• Email: luke@lifecoachluke.com

Join the After the Affair community at www.facebook.com/groups/aftertheaffaircommunity

Understanding why someone betrayed you can be helpful. It can explain what happened. It can offer context. It can even soften the sting, temporarily.

But it doesn’t erase the pain.

In this episode, we unpack the emotional tug-of-war between empathy and accountability after infidelity. We explore how understanding your partner’s internal struggles, their fears, avoidance, or disconnection doesn’t mean you're condoning their choices. It simply means you're starting to see the full picture.

You’ll learn how empathy and boundaries can exist side-by-side, and why making sense of the betrayal is only one part of the healing process.

• Empathy does not equal agreement, you can understand your partner without excusing their behaviour.
• Betrayal often stems from fear or disconnection, not just desire or malice.
• The pain doesn’t vanish just because you understand “why” it happened, and that pain still matters.
• You can hold compassion and boundaries at the same time.
• Real healing comes when you stop trying to make it all make sense, and start learning how to sit with what is

Have you struggled with the tension between understanding and hurt? Leave us a review or share this episode with someone who’s trying to make sense of their own betrayal story.

🗣️ And if you want guided support navigating that emotional minefield, join the waitlist for our Chaos to Clarity group coaching program — doors are opening soon.

Connect with Luke:

• Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
• Instagram: @mylifecoachluke
• Email: luke@lifecoachluke.com

Join the After the Affair community at www.facebook.com/groups/aftertheaffaircommunity

Betrayal leaves behind more than heartbreak, it leaves questions that echo in your mind day and night.

“Was it real?”

“Did I miss the signs?”

“Is this my fault?”

“Will I ever trust again?”

In this episode, I, Luke Shillings, walk you through the most common thoughts and questions that come up in the aftermath of infidelity, based on real conversations from hundreds of discovery calls and coaching sessions.

Whether you're feeling stuck in self-doubt, unsure what to believe, or just desperate to feel normal again, this episode is for you. We’ll explore where these thoughts come from, why they’re so persistent, and what it actually takes to rebuild trust, not just in your partner, but in yourself.

• You weren’t “stupid” for not seeing it, you were committed.
• Betrayal shakes your trust in them and in your own perception.
• Feeling hurt without proof doesn’t make you paranoid; it makes you aware.
• Emotional safety is rebuilt slowly, and your body decides what safe feels like.
• You’re not just mourning the relationship, you’re mourning who you were in it.
• Coaching helps you hear yourself again beneath the panic and pain

What’s the question that’s been haunting you most since the betrayal?

Let’s talk about it. Message me on Instagram or share anonymously in the group, because you’re not the only one asking.

• Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
• Instagram: @mylifecoachluke
• Email: luke@lifecoachluke.com

Join the After the Affair community at www.facebook.com/groups/aftertheaffaircommunity

Have you ever been told you're too emotional, or secretly believed it yourself?

If conflict overwhelms you, if you shut down or spiral in arguments, if you find yourself apologising just for feeling… this episode is for you.

Luke explores how what looks like emotional reactivity is often a learned survival strategy, rooted in fear, not dysfunction. From childhood patterns to nervous system responses, you'll gain insight into why certain emotions feel unbearable and how to build the capacity to stay with them without losing yourself.

This episode is not about shrinking your feelings.

It’s about expanding your ability to hold them.

• Emotional overwhelm in conflict is often rooted in early survival responses
• You're not “too much”, you were just never taught how to feel safely
• Conflict becomes intolerable when we fear what our emotions mean, not just what they are
• Nervous system regulation isn’t about staying calm, it’s about staying connected
• Real emotional power is built by staying with your feelings, not controlling the outcome

💬 Reflection Prompt:

What part of you is afraid to feel? And what would it look like to support that part, instead of suppress it?

Connect with Luke:

• Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
• Instagram: @mylifecoachluke
• Email: luke@lifecoachluke.com

Join the After the Affair community at www.facebook.com/groups/aftertheaffaircommunity

You know your partner’s betrayal wasn’t your fault.

You understand the logic.

But still, deep down, you’re stuck.

Still needing reassurance. Still bracing for the next emotional shift. Still terrified of being too much, or not enough.

Why?

Because some of what you’re feeling didn’t start with them.

In this episode, Luke explores how emotional survival strategies from childhood shape the way we respond to betrayal, uncertainty, and intimacy as adults. If you’ve been chasing reassurance, battling emotional spirals, or waiting for your partner to give you the peace you can’t seem to find, this episode is for you.

It’s not about blame.

It’s about awareness.

And reclaiming the power you forgot you had.

✔️ Why betrayal activates old survival wiring, not just current fear

✔️ The truth about reassurance, and why it never lasts

✔️ How emotional outsourcing creates cycles of panic and distance

✔️ The difference between fear of what might happen… and the belief you wouldn’t survive it

✔️ How to build internal trust using the self-coaching model and ladder thoughts

✔️ Why your partner can’t fix wounds they didn’t create, and why you can

💬 Reflection Prompt:

Where in your healing are you still waiting to be saved?

And what might shift if you stopped outsourcing that safety, and started practising it with yourself?

Connect with Luke:

• Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
• Instagram: @mylifecoachluke
• Email: luke@lifecoachluke.com

Join the After the Affair community at www.facebook.com/groups/aftertheaffaircommunity

When you suspect infidelity but don’t have the proof, it can feel like you’re living in emotional limbo, caught between your gut and your guilt. In this episode, we unpack the messy, painful, and very human experience of wondering whether something’s going on behind your back.

You’ll learn how to stop spiralling and start grounding, why your feelings are valid even without confirmation, and how to begin reclaiming trust in yourself, no matter what happens next.

If you’re frozen in fear or stuck in overanalysis, this is your lifeline.

• You don’t need “proof” to honour your pain, suspicion itself creates emotional distress worth tending to.
• Overanalysis feels like control, but often creates more confusion and disconnect from your truth.
• Grounding and anchoring practices help shift you from obsession to self-alignment.
• The path forward begins by asking: “What do I need?” instead of “What are they hiding?”
• Clarity doesn’t always come from answers, it comes from reconnecting with your values, boundaries, and self-trust.

What would it look like to honour yourself in this moment, without needing all the answers? Share your reflections with us or journal about the question:

👉 “What helps me feel more like myself, even in the middle of this?”

Connect with Luke:

• Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
• Instagram: @mylifecoachluke
• Email: luke@lifecoachluke.com

Join the After the Affair community at www.facebook.com/groups/aftertheaffaircommunity

When betrayal shatters your world, knowing where to start can feel overwhelming.

In this episode, Luke breaks down a simple yet powerful framework to help you regain clarity, direction, and strength, The ABCs of Infidelity Recovery: Acceptance, Boundaries, Compassion.

These three pillars aren’t just concepts. They’re tools.

Tools to help you stay grounded when your emotions spiral.

Tools to help you protect yourself, reconnect with your truth, and create healing on your own terms.

Whether you're rebuilding your relationship or choosing a new path, this episode offers the emotional clarity you’ve been craving.

✔️ What real acceptance looks like, and why it’s not the same as approval or resignation

✔️ How to set boundaries that come from self-respect, not fear

✔️ Why self-compassion is foundational to lasting emotional recovery

✔️ How these three principles work together to create momentum and healing

✔️ A practical way to return to clarity when you feel stuck or overwhelmed

💬 Reflection Question:

Which of the ABCs do you find hardest to practice right now, and what’s one small way you can lean into it today?

Connect with Luke:

• Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
• Instagram: @mylifecoachluke
• Email: luke@lifecoachluke.com

Join the After the Affair community at www.facebook.com/groups/aftertheaffaircommunity