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It sounds like the easiest mission ever: Go to Earth (you know, the blue planet in the middle of nowhere). Sell hot dogs. Record interactions with human beings using the loop recorder in his brain. Unfortunately, humans refuse to buy Charlie’s hot dogs at the corner of Bay and College Street in downtown Toronto, Canada, North America, Earth. They prefer Earl’s Dogs, the cart across the street.

"Quick March, the planet Earth needs to be saved!" Not from alien attack, nuclear destruction, or even being hit by a misguided comet. No, Earth needs to be saved from making millions of years of painful losses for Gloth, and it falls to March Gregorian, eldest son and heir to February the Twenty-Ninth, the Supreme Potentate of the Twelve Sun Systems of Gloth, to find a way to finally make Earth profitable. March is sure he knows which Earth product will solve the problem: Salmon. Unfortunately for March, all does not go well on the salmon front....

Jake tries hard, but spying is a tough job. When a botched pickup and a drunken indiscretion drop him in jail, he's sent to serve his sentence in the Milita. His new commander wants Jake's next tour to be out an airlock without a suit. At least his fellow conscript is friendly, and has a sexy single sister! But an accidental shooting and a boarding by his old friend Nadine complicate his life. Now the girls don't trust him, Mr. Dashi won't answer his calls, and there are armed ships chasing him through the rings. Is he in trouble? Or was this Dashi's plan all along?

After being strong-armed into selling his tech company, Myron, a world-renowned computer programmer, slips into a depression he fears he won’t get out of. Overcome by the rapid beats in his chest, the anxiety locking up his arms and legs, and the voices telling him he’s physically ill, he realizes he’s nearing a breaking point...until a familiar foe - the company that sent him into his crisis - offers him a curious opportunity: the chance to build a human being.

Holy hedgehogs! Everyone's favorite bounty hunting duo is back! Nova Texas' favorite son, Duke LaGrange, and his silent swordsman sidekick, Ishiro'shea, once again find themselves unceremoniously removed from Cyborg Joe's and deposited on a planet at the least opportune time. The only way for the tandem to escape the harsh world of Psitakki is for Duke to survive the most dangerous underground pit fighting tournament in the cosmos.

Tremendous. Tremendously tremendous. Tremendous in its tremendocity. That is how I would describe book four in the Arena series. I say so. Everyone says so. But mostly, I say so. My best friend, Marc Havak, who I hand-picked to represent the planet Earth in an interstellar gladiatorial competition, has kicked-butt and taken names, as I knew he would. Everyone I pick wins. And they win bigly. But this audiobook, wow, this one is amazing. Intense action with yours truly saving the day and telling these alien losers how much they suck? You're hired.

Clunk, a clapped-out robot, is convinced he's about to be junked. Instead, his penny-pinching boss is sending him off to be refurbished. Being old and wise, Clunk knows there's a catch, but at first it doesn't seem too bad. He just has to help a freelancer pick up some cargo. Unfortunately, Hal Spacejock - the freelancer - is obstinate, over-confident, and woefully under-skilled, and he's never going to let a lowly robot fly his precious ship. Is there any chance this pair of misfits can lift off, collect the cargo and deliver it in one piece?

You think you’re struggling to find your place in the universe? Consider poor old Colin Douglass, a terminally ill insurance agent who awakens from centuries in cryogenic freeze to find Earth is a devastated wasteland. Now, he’s being pursued by a homicidal interstellar tourist board, and calculating insurance dividends is as outdated as making stone axes. Sci-fi-hating technophobe Colin seeks a cure for his illness in this strange new galaxy where toilets talk back, and door handles are a long-forgotten relic.

The Neon Octopus Overlord has been challenged. Their galaxy will never be the same. Kirian, the mythological warrior agent known as the Destroyer of Planets, wants out of her contract. That's a problem since she's currently in the Neon Octopus Overlord's elite, secret Celestial Force against her will. In a desperate attempt to regain her freedom, Kirian defies her tentacled boss and secretly saves Ari, the human she is sent to kill.

Doug wasn’t sure whether he should trust Satan. The red flag was that he said he was Satan. But the deal was good: Listen to Satan’s story in exchange for some donuts. And Doug only half-fulfilled his part of the bargain. But maybe he should have listened better, because during his friend Bryce’s next scheme (theft with light to moderate treason - the usual), Doug and the rest of his friends - Lulu (the fun one) and Charlene (the not fun one) - end up with a powerful artifact, a small metal cube with world-ending power that Lulu decorated with bunnies.

Ben Snyder bought a cargo ship, hired a crew of reformed criminals, and set off to make his riches. Unfortunately, nobody but the Galactic Republic will hire him, and he doesn't take government contracts. When he was offered a job to transport one person for more credits than he'd ever seen, it was an offer he should have refused.

An intergalactic tale filled with absurd - yet somehow very familiar - characters and an even more ridiculous, but predictable plot - guy loves girl, girl loves guy, monster loves girl, monster steals girl and tries to kill guy. And oh yeah, there’s the whole thing about the universe hanging in the balance of potential destruction.

The second book in the critically-ignored comedy sci-fi series continues to solidify Wetherell's claim to the throne of Douglas Adams! After announcing to the public that the Massive Ball of Death is coming to destroy everything, Bip finds himself locked away with the other criminally insane. Aided by his psyentific talent for exploding things and creating the random igloo, Bip manages to escape and team up with the immortal Handen Strike, the first Volunteer who ventured out to spread the Clarion’s message of total world devastation.

Big things are happening for Mark Scottsdale. He has just graduated from college and is looking forward to starting a new life with his childhood friend and longtime girlfriend, Lisa. So when an old classmate of his offers him a high-paying job working for a new research facility, Mark jumps at the opportunity. However, all of his dreams come to an abrupt end when Lisa is taken from him by a drunk driver. But if Mark could gain access to his company's secret Flicker World project, he just might be able to see his beloved Lisa again after all.

Hal Spacejock’s cargo business is going so well he’s considering getting into passengers...especially the beautiful and mysterious Sonya Polarov. Clunk's certain she's up to something, but as usual Hal won't listen to a word he says.... Meanwhile, Rex Curtis runs the galaxy’s biggest freight company, and he’s sick of independent pilots stealing his cargo jobs. He’s determined to make a statement by destroying the biggest nuisance of them all: Hal Spacejock.

War closes in. Gavin isn't running away anymore. The search for Abraxas-Mon and his army gets cut off as the team finds themselves cornered on the oldest planet in the galaxy. What they discover there destroys their very understanding of the Commonwealth and the journey they've been on since taking Gavin from Earth. The Perennials are gone. Abraxas-Mon may already be dead. Someone has been pulling the strings and is 10 steps ahead. Now it's up to Gavin to stop them. A Hollywood actor verses the biggest threat in the universe? Yeah, this is going to end well.

Dying is easy. It’s the Apocalypse that’s hard. Before the outside world devolved into a fiery pit of hell, Noel and Julia hosted a successful and wonderfully pretentious community radio show. Now their basement studio is their survival bunker, and they find themselves completely alone. With no escape and nothing left except an increasingly eclectic selection of questionable records, Noel and Julia proudly debut their new show: Is Anyone Alive Out There?. How could they create a stellar show when they really just need to survive?

Mex had been looking forward to a well-earned rest after saving planet Hy Man. But now, thanks to Beryl, she has been sent on a mission that will ruin her career with a robot who rubs her up the wrong way. Beryl is the leader of planet Hy Man and fighting to remain so. The planet’s energy is on its last legs and chapping at her heels to take over is the ruthless Hilda. A woman with a personality as bad her haircut and will do anything to get her way....

All three books in the first Dragon and Chips trilogy in a single omnibus edition. Tasty, fire-breathing dragons. Angry sea serpents. Sea battles, land battles, assassins, and more. Get it now!

When bounty hunter Duke LaGrange and his oft-inebriated Japanese-Irish ninja companion, Ishiro’shea, entered their favorite watering hole, Cyborg Joe’s Grill N’ Go & The Why Not Saloon, they had no idea that they would soon be gobbled up by an unhinged astral anomaly and deposited on an uncharted primitive world. Few things are worse than undeveloped planets, especially those that haven’t even made it to the soufflé stage. To top it off, this particular planet comes with its own insane ruler and an Orb That Controls Everything and Must Be Respected.