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Christy Hayes is a case study in successful living. She's won two Olympic gold medals, built a multimillion-dollar business, and landed a gorgeous and powerful CEO husband. But Christy's dream life begins to unravel when she inherits custody of an 11-year-old girl named Renata.

Looking for a way out of the rat race? Tired of your ho-hum, workaday life? Have an inexplicable love of turning human beings into inanimate objects? Then professional supervillainy might just be for you! With tips from the renowned founder and overlord of the International Society of Supervillains, The Supervillain Handbook is your one-stop-shop for everything evil. Gain invaluable insight on the art of revenge, choosing your evil name, where to find the perfect lair, and much more!

The author of Black Tie and Tales and Black in the Saddle Again, both winners of the Stephen Leacock Medal for Humor, returns with a new collection guaranteed to tickle your funny bone and make you scratch your head at the absurdities of life in the early years of the new millennium. In slyly ironic, pointedly witty essays, Black takes aim at the vagaries of the English language, the moribund political correctness movement, and a host of rural and urban eccentrics.

Every Boy Should Have a Man takes place in a post-human world, where creatures called oafs keep humanlike "mans" as beloved pets. One day, a poor boy oaf brings home a man, whom he hides under his bed, in the hopes his parents won't find out. When the man is discovered, the boy admits it is not his - but the boy is no delinquent. Despite the accusations being hurled at him, he's telling the truth when he says he found the man wandering aimlessly in the bramble.

Mina Clark is losing her mind - or maybe it’s already gone. She isn’t quite sure. Feeling displaced in her over-priced McMansion-dotted suburban world, she is grappling not only with deep debt, a mostly absent husband, and her playground-terrorizer three-year old Emma, but also with a significant amnesia she can’t shake - a “temporary” condition now going on several years, brought on by a traumatic event she cannot remember, and which everyone around her feels is best forgotten.

Domesticity and creativity wrestle in these hilariously skewed tales of postmodern family life.

Meet Gregor Samsa, a humble young man who works as a fabric salesman to support his parents and sister. His life goes strangely awry when he wakes up late for work and discovers that, inexplicably, he is now a man-sized baby kitten. His family freaks out: Yes, their son is OMG so cute, but what good is cute when there are bills to pay? As his new feline identity threatens to eat away at his personality, Gregor desperately tries to survive this bizarre, bewhiskered ordeal by accomplishing the one thing he never could as a man: He must flee his parents’ house.

The antidote to those cotton-candy platitudes that are all too familiar to anyone who’s ever worn a mortarboard, Wheelan’s 10 head-turning aphorisms - backed up by a PhD in public policy and extensive social science research - set the record straight. Readers everywhere agreed, turning a Dartmouth Class Day speech that had gone viral into a best-selling book.

Meet Matt Richter. Pi. Zombie. Another case proves dangerous for zombie PI Matt Richter, in the underworld realm of Nekropolis. From his arrival at Nekropolis, Matt has found himself embroiled in disputes with the city's vampire lords, shapeshifters, golems, and other monstrosities. Nothing has prepared him for the Dark War. Tim Waggoner is a novelist and college professor.

Things aren't going Milo's way. His acting career is floundering, he got dumped, his miserable father vanished, and people keep moving into his house. He finally decides to take action - to help the only person he really likes, the autistic boy next door who's being bullied. But, well, that doesn't really go his way either.

Timothy Schaffert has created his most memorable character yet in Essie, an octogenarian obituary writer for her family’s small town newspaper. When a young country girl is reported to be missing, perhaps whisked away by an itinerant aerial photographer, Essie stumbles onto the story of her life. Or, it all could be simply a hoax, or a delusion, the child and child-thief invented from the desperate imagination of a lonely, lovelorn woman.

Oliver Vice, 41, prominent philosopher, scholar, and art collector, is missing and presumed dead, over the side of Queen Mary 2. Troubled by his friend’s possible suicide, the unnamed narrator of Lawrence Douglas’ new novel launches an all-consuming investigation into Vice’s life history. Douglas, moving backward through time, tells a mordantly humorous story of fascination turned obsession, as his narrator peels back the layers of the Vice family’s rich and bizarre history.

A colony of Canadian and American writers and filmmakers, exiled by McCarthyist witch hunts at home, find themselves in London, England, where they evolve a society every bit as merciless, destructive, and closed-minded as that from which they have fled.

EXCLUSIVELY AVAILABLE IN AUDIONo one else has Dan Wells’ hilarious new novella - it’s not available in print, in ebook, by mobile phone text or Victorian phonograph. Audible is bringing it to you exclusively, for a limited time.The basic premise is this: it's 1817, and a man named Frederick Whithers is wallowing in jail for a crime he didn't commit, desperate to get out so he can go and commit it for real.

It’s the 1st of December and Milly Arnold is facing a miserable Noel. Newly single, the last thing she wants to do is join her settled sister and her young family for the first of their traditions: the writing of the Christmas lists. However Milly’s nephews have other ideas and insist she write a list of her own (with illustrations to help Father Christmas decipher her terrible handwriting). Milly duly makes a request for a bunch of roses, some chocolate and a new pair of shoes. She doesn’t expect to get any of it. However, that very day, a box of chocolates appears....

Set a thousand years (give or take) before the events of Disenchanted, Distopia tells the story of Wyngalf the Bold, the legendary hero renowned for ridding the land of Dis of the scourge of dragons. The story begins as Wyngalf, a young missionary for an obscure religious sect, arrives in the port city of Skuldred. Desperate to prove his worth to his superiors, Wyngalf finds himself drafted into leading a missionary voyage across the sea to the semilegendary land of Dis.

Elvie Nara was doing just fine in the year 2074. She had a great best friend, a dad she adored, and a bright future working on the Ares Project on Mars. But then she had to get involved with sweet, gorgeous, dumb-as-a-brick Cole - and now she's pregnant. Teen pregnancy is never easy - especially when extraterrestrials are involved....

In this short story from his Getting Even collection, Woody Allen takes an in-depth look at the Mafia, detailing heretofore unknown facts about the Cosa Nostra, from their aliases (and aliases' aliases), to how little they spend on office supplies in a given year.

Evan had a hit single, but that was 10 years ago. Thirty-one now, hes drifting, playing in a local band and teaching middle-aged men to coax music from an electric guitar. Now, 14 years later, he experiences unplanned parenthood when he undertakes to raise the resentful teenage son hes never known. Off beat and disarming, How Evan Broke His Head and Other Secrets portrays a contemporary American family with unfailing honesty.

Cornelius Murphy is a big-haired seventeen-year-old tall school leaver, devoted avoider of regular employment and Stuff of Epics. And together with his diminutive companion and bestest friend Tuppe (the stuff of epics to a slightly lesser degree) they set out in a 1958 Cadillac Eldorado to travel the length of the British Isles in search of the missing chapters from a great and wonderful tome: The Book of Ultimate Truths. Penned by self-styled Most Amazing Man Who Ever Lived, Hugo Rune.