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Phoebe West has been head-over-heels in love with her brother's best friend for as long as she can remember. Not that he's bothered to notice. Despite several mortifying attempts at seduction and a decade's worth of unrequited pining, nothing Phoebe does seems to make any impact on the man she's obsessed over since her bra-stuffing days. She knows that it's time to let him go, though just the thought is nearly enough to shatter her.

They call him the Anaconda, and I'm pretty sure it isn't because he likes snakes. Nick Jenson is my neighbor. My hot, oh-so-sexy, very-well-equipped neighbor that I'd spend hours watching from the safety of my bedroom window. I saw lots of things I probably shouldn't have. Sometimes I'd touch myself, imagining it were his hands roaming over my body instead of my own. I had just one mission - to find out if the rumors were true.

Waldo and company arrive looking for information. What they find is a suspicious mage guild, a delusional queen, an entire city awash in greed and deception, and an old acquaintance who is very happy to see him again. Getting the information he's looking for won't be easy, but when has that ever stopped Waldo?

Twice-divorced Dawn's only source of security and comfort, it seems, is Chuck, a pit-bull mix from the pound. So, when her boyfriend announces that he's leaving her for another woman, a despairing Dawn turns to Chuck for solace. "I should have said something sooner," Chuck confides, as he tries to console her. "Couldn't you smell her on his pants?" Dawn is stunned. It's one thing to talk to your pets, but what do you do when they start talking back?

This book is made up of 33 chapters. Each chapter is a different basketball question that needs to be answered. Some of them are obviously crucial (example: what's the most important NBA championship?) and some of them are secretly crucial (example: was Kobe Bryant a dork?). But all of them are approached in ways that (I hope you think) are smart and fun and nuanced. Also, you should know ahead of time that some of the pieces go a bit sideways sometimes, like the chapter that ends up just being the script of an action movie.

Fifteen years after losing most of his family to a devastating, pudding-related tragedy, Simon Debovar has settled into a life of self-imposed exile from the stinking, selfish morass of humanity. Content that his daily highlights will include hazelnut coffee, a long bath, and the occasional jar of olives, his life is completely upturned by the discovery that his ornate living room carpet is the deciding factor in a bet between God and Satan.

For the women of Marestam, "happily ever after" has always come with a grain of salt. Be it infidelity or aging, deferred dreams or lost love, or the pressures of raising a family, they have always seen each other through life's trials with laughter, wine, and a brand new take on old-fashioned chivalry. But when rage and treachery take over, everything they hold dear comes under attack....

Three unruly friends. A wedding we shouldn't have been invited to. Two unexpected romances. A scoop of sexy. And a double scoop of chaos. Lydia is a good girl who is above revenge. Good thing she has us. No one cheats on our best friend and rides off into the sunset with his new bride. What was supposed to happen? Unleash hell like two badasses.

Teacher Misery perfectly encapsulates the comical misery that has become the teaching profession. Jane Morris's strange, funny, and sometimes unbelievable teaching experiences are told through a collection of short stories, essays, and artifacts including real emails from parents, students, and administrators. From the parents who blame their son's act of arson on the teacher for causing him low self-esteem to the student who offers to teach the teacher how to sell drugs so she can pay her bills, one story is more shocking than the next.

Kelly returns from sabbatical and finally has the opportunity to expand her embassy with a conference room, providing she can find a contractor willing to take the job. Dorothy finds that her impending motherhood is an advice-magnet to her alien friends, while the SBJ Fashions workplace gets strange as Baa enchants fashion accessories for LARPing to repay her debt to Jeeves. Samuel and Vivian discover that their educational choices don't necessarily match with their aptitudes and abilities.

While Kelly struggles to come up with a research project to apply for sabbatical, the role-playing craze reaches Union Station, and the Open University offers a for-credit LARP. Dorothy finally finishes her wedding dress with a technical flourish, and Jeeves plots to recoup his costs.

A new species has jumped into the Sol system for a quick look, leading the Stryx to assign humans to the greeting mission. Dorothy and Kevin leave on a trading mission in his new ship, bringing the dog, and Samuel and Vivian start at the Open University.

Putting the Grand Quest behind them, the party rides onward in search of answers. Between one member's unexpected new condition and the mysteries of the Bridge, their only hope appears to be gaining entrance to Lumal, said to hold the greatest collection of knowledge in all the kingdoms. But when a curious path appears in a seemingly uninhabited forest, the party finds themselves in a place set apart from the kingdoms, and the world at large: a hidden hamlet, filled by unusual people, all of whom have long histories of their own.

Weddings aren't my thing - never have been. But eloping would break my mother's heart, especially since the president of the United States put in a good word for me with his daughter's wedding planner. I'm going to have the wedding of the year...whether I like it or not. Before we can say I do, Slash and I are flying off to the Brazilian rain forest. Our mission: stop hackers from stealing a vaccine that could save millions of lives. I thought it'd be easy, but from the moment we step off the plane, I'm up to my neck in trouble.

Getting engaged is supposed to be a fun, exciting time in a girl's life. But things are never that easy for Slash and me. Instead, someone is threatening to expose Slash's past - a past so secret, even I know very little about it. With a little expert-level hacking, I learn Slash is keeping secrets from me. Big ones. Dangerous ones. In fact, the more I dig into Slash's past, the more I discover things about him I never knew - things that eventually pit us against each other.

Elderflower Tea Shop is next door to Cardinal Woolsey's, the yarn shop Lucy runs and home to the late-night Vampire Knitting Club. The tea shop owners are a pair of octogenarian spinsters and old family friends, so Lucy wants to help clear up the mystery that's keeping their shop closed. But murder isn't the only issue troubling the Miss Watts. A man has come between them. Miss Florence Watt is being romanced by an old flame, one Mary Watt distrusts.

Dear Anders, You're cordially invited to stop messing around with my emotions. You had your chance and like a coward, ran away when it got too difficult. Couldn't you handle wanting your best friends, little sister? You didn't want me bad enough? Like I said - coward. Well, guess what? You lost your chance and now I'm engaged to someone who isn't you. Thank. God. But I'm going to be the bigger person here - for the sake of my brother - and truly hope you can make the wedding and join in on all of the festivities. I hope you don't choke on the champagne. Or do. Whatever.

From John G. Hartness comes a must-listen collection of four Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter novellas: She Talks to Angels, Shout at the Devil, Angel of Harlem, and Sympathy for the Devil. She Talks to Angels: In the fifth part of the Quincy Harker crossover series, Gabby helps hunt down a rogue archangel in St. Louis, learning more about herself, about history, and about that cute doctor's son than she expected.

By day, Mark Wojcik can be found elbow-deep in engine grease, making cars and trucks safe for the highway. By night, he can be found traipsing through the wilds of Pennsylvania, making the world safe for humans. He's more than just a mechanic, he's a New Templar Knight. He travels the backroads and byways fighting weresquonks, ningen, selkies, ghosts, and . . . gnomes? Is that gnome . . . naked? (Sigh.) Season One collects the first four novellas in the Spells, Salt, & Steel series: Spells, Salt, & Steel; Open Season; Deep Trouble; and Close Encounters.

Saki has always followed the Blossom girls' house rules: Thou shalt prank the Dudes, thy beautiful fraternity neighbors, all day, every day; thou shalt not lose thy heart to them: no fraternizing with the arch-frat-enemy. Easy enough, right? Minor complication one: Saki gets warm all over whenever she sees Picasso, the dark-haired, hyper-sensual painting student with bright grey eyes, over there in the Dude den. Minor complications two through five: Picasso is head-over-heels for Saki, has an obsessive personality, and craves working her up. He brushes up against her.