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There's a strange disconnect that happens when you look back at a version of yourself you barely recognize. Opening my old escort Twitter account recently was like unlocking a time capsule to someone I used to be—a medical specialist who lost everything to addiction and found herself selling her body to survive.

My descent didn't happen overnight. After losing my medical career to substance abuse, I initially turned to online work with my face concealed. But as financial desperation grew, those boundaries eroded. I remember my first night as an escort vividly—leaving with a thousand dollars cash felt validating when rent was due and my bank account was empty. What began as financially liberating quickly darkened as I was reintroduced to drugs through clients. Late nights, dangerous situations, and intravenous drug use became my normal while I maintained a grandiose self-perception completely divorced from reality.

Recovery has given me profound insights about intimacy and connection. I once justified my choices as sexual liberation and breaking taboos, convinced sharing the most intimate parts of myself with strangers was somehow revolutionary. Now I understand that intimacy is precious precisely because it's selective—not from shame, but from value. True fulfillment comes not from chasing desires or seeking validation, but from authentic connection and selflessness. I've forgiven the person I was without absolving responsibility for my actions. She was someone desperately unwell making choices through the fog of addiction, but she isn't me anymore.

Whether you're struggling with addiction, processing a difficult chapter of your past, or trying to reconcile who you were with who you've become, know that transformation is possible. Your history doesn't define your future. The person you once were doesn't have to be the person you remain.

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"You're just sitting there obsessing over what's happening with your fat cells. It's fucking wild." These raw words capture the mental torment of anorexia nervosa—a reality I knew intimately as both patient and physician.

My relationship with food began as an obese child enduring bullying and humiliation. By fifteen, amid my parents' divorce, I found control through extreme calorie restriction. I dropped weight dramatically, earning praise until crossing that invisible line where congratulations turned to concern. At 45 kilos, I was a shell—perpetually cold, depressed, unable to enjoy my passion for drama. The black-and-white thinking of anorexia trapped me: I couldn't eat normally without fearing I'd become "a fat fuck again."

A child psychiatrist's blunt assessment—that I'd spend years in an eating disorder bed rather than attending university—finally flipped a switch. Medicine became my lifeline, my reason to recover. Yet recovery wasn't linear. Bulimia followed, with up to ten purging sessions daily through university. Later, stimulants became another way to suppress appetite, creating a dangerous addiction pathway.

Years later, as a renal physician, I helped build what became a model eating disorder unit in regional Australia. Drawing from personal experience, I transformed nursing culture from judgment to compassion. We'd tell nurses: imagine someone forcing you to eat something disgusting—that's how these patients feel about normal food. Through painstaking work, we created an environment where severely ill patients could heal.

Perhaps most transformative was my professional work with obese patients. Research revealed that much of what we believe about weight is wrong. Some bodies are genetically programmed to retain weight—traits once beneficial during famines. The blame and shame heaped upon larger people isn't just cruel but scientifically unfounded. Studies show people with BMIs around 31 actually live longer than those at the lower end of "normal."

Whether you've struggled with eating disorders, work in healthcare, or simply want to understand these complex conditions better, this episode offers insights from someone who's experienced the battle from both sides of the treatment room. If you take away one message, let it be this: compassion trumps judgment every time.

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Spiritual connections with animals have become one of the most unexpected and profound aspects of my recovery journey. As someone who's always had dogs, I never anticipated how becoming more spiritually aware would transform my relationships with all kinds of creatures—from rescue pets to wildlife.

When I moved in with my partner, I inherited two new family members: Bella, a kelpie-dachshund mix with boundless energy, and Daisy, an elderly but nimble tabby cat. Having suffered severe cat allergies my entire life, I never imagined forming a bond with a feline companion. Yet through consciously projecting safe, loving energy, I've developed a beautiful morning ritual with Daisy, who now wakes me at dawn for affection and connection.

The spiritual techniques that transformed my human relationships work remarkably well with animals. By channeling calm energy through my hands onto Bella's head when she's overexcited, maintaining meaningful eye contact when setting boundaries, and projecting clear intentions, I've established a communication system that transcends verbal language. The most profound demonstration of this spiritual growth came unexpectedly when I encountered a 10-foot python in my backyard. Instead of experiencing my usual debilitating phobia—one so severe I couldn't even look at pictures of snakes—I felt fascinated by its beauty. This encounter fundamentally shifted my relationship with fear itself.

These animal connections have become powerful teachers in my recovery. Whether it's the magpie I rescued who returned daily to check on me, or the rescue pets who respond to energy work, these relationships demonstrate that the same principles healing human connections can create meaningful bonds across species. Have you experienced spiritual connections with animals in your life? I'd love to hear your stories about the creatures who've helped you see the world differently.

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