
Why They Couldn’t Love You: Understanding Emotional Capacity in Toxic Relationships
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What happens when the person you fought so hard to love turns out to be incapable of loving you back? What do you do with the grief, the self-doubt, and the tidal wave of confusion that follows?
In this raw and deeply personal episode, I unpack what it means to love someone with traits of Cluster B personality disorders—specifically, narcissistic and borderline features—and why walking away doesn’t bring immediate peace. I share the story of how my relationship ended, the impossible ultimatum I was given, and the unraveling that came after.
We explore:
- Why you still miss them even though they hurt you
- The reality of trauma bonding and emotional addiction
- What it means to be with someone who can imitate love but not sustain it
- The devastation of being blamed for everything, including their own behavior
- The disorienting grief that follows when you're mourning the illusion, not the reality
- What healing actually looks like when you finally choose yourself
This episode is for anyone who left a relationship and still doesn’t understand why it hurts so much. For the person who can’t stop blaming themselves. For the survivor who is starting to realize: it wasn’t you. It was never you.
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Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner