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What The Fuck Am I Doing being a person who is constantly aging and will inevitably, eventually die? Woof. In this heavy hitting episode, Esbee and Maddie discuss the one subject that nearly all of us dread in one way or another (aging) and even delve into a topic so taboo, our culture largely avoids it altogether: death. Although both women are not thrilled about the way getting older promises to loosen their skin, deepen their wrinkles, and intensify their various aches and ailments, Esbee has her sights set on the holy grail of retirement, whereas Maddie actually looks forward to certain aspects of aging that naturally come with being a parent. But it's not all bad. Both women explore various elements of aging that they actually see as positives. The two also discuss their experiences with their parents' aging, get deeply personal regarding their own feelings about death, and answer the big picture question: are you afraid of dying? Just in time for spooky season, these two are tackling some of life's scariest questions.

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What The Fuck Am I Doing with work? As women continue to occupy even more space in the workforce — and as they also continue to occupy generally the same amount of space in the home, even if they work outside of it as well — the fact of the matter is: women be workin'. In the first episode of Season 3, Maddie and Esbee discuss the world of work, as two women who currently occupy it (albeit quite differently). Maddie struggles to figure out how to create better work-life balance between her business and her creative endeavors, while also juggling both her responsibilities to and desire to be with her family and have a life aside from all of that. On the other hand, Esbee worries about ever being able to retire, and dreams of potentially taking on a new role that allows her to flex the professional muscles she's built throughout the course of her career. They may not have any conclusive answers on the matter, but (as always) hope their discussion about the nebulous nature of being working women helps others wrestling with these same issues feel just a smidge less shitty about it :)

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We're back! Maddie and Esbee are gearing up for Season 3 of WTFAID, and in so doing, they're giving some much needed updates to our loyal followers. (Hi mom! Hi mom!) The two share recent updates from both of their lives, introduce the subject matter for each of Season 3's upcoming episodes and introduce a new segment to the airwaves: This Week's Biggest What The Fuck!

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What The Fuck Am I Doing, DATING??? In their final episode of Season 2, Esbee and Maddie go all-in on this ubiquitous subject to which nearly everyone can relate. Maddie is decidedly NOT dating since she's married (but she does have some fun stories to share from her dating era in her early 20's) while Esbee more or less IS dating and therefore ALSO has fun tales to tell. The two hosts reminisce on some of their favorite dating memories, discuss the pros and cons of apps, and generally tell fun and funny stories about their long searches for love.

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What The Fuck Am I Doing with drugs and alcohol...again!? Esbee and Maddie are tackling this hot-button subject once again, exploring how their stances on drugs and alcohol have changed or stayed the same since their last discussion on the matter. Maddie discusses the shame she felt about missing alcohol during both of her pregnancies and her clarity on all those mixed emotions now, and Esbee delves more into her drinking evolution: from a teen/young adult who didn't really drink, to an adult who eventually did, all the way to a 34-year-old who is now sober. They also talk about their stance on drugs and tackle the age-old debate over whether or not the drinking age in the U.S. should be lowered to 18. It's titillating stuff!

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What The Fuck Am I Doing with my sexuality? Glad you asked. Maddie is keeping things pretty straight and narrow, but Esbee is a little more all over the map. The two discuss their own unique sexualities and how they fit in (or don't) to the current culture. Plus, they explore our culture's fascination with sexuality and how we love to put people into neatly defined boxes — even though (more often than not) sexuality doesn't actually fit into a neatly defined box or underneath some clearly laid out label.

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What The Fuck Am I Doing having so much Imposter Syndrome when it comes to my work life and my creative endeavors? Esbee and Maddie discuss their constant fear of fraudulence and how that fear tends to hinder not only their opportunities for professional growth, but their ability to flourish creatively, too. Funny enough, one major area in which they both feel the imposter syndrome creep in hard-core is in doing this very podcast! The two also tackle why they think they deal with this common mental plague in these specific areas of their lives.

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What The Fuck Am I Doing with my friendships? Cherishing them and feeling so, so lucky to have them. In this episode, Maddie and Esbee talk about the genesis and evolution of their own friendship and talk about their adult friendships outside of this nuclear one. Esbee notes that friendships are often the first real, meaningful relationships that people experience outside of their family, and Maddie points out how special it is to have a friendship that spans as much time as theirs does: close to thirty years. Esbee and Maddie regale listeners with stories of their own friendship and talk about issues that sometimes arise and how they navigate those sticking points.