Send us a text

Ep 654: Unpacking Masculinity with Jacob Tobia: Dive into a thought-provoking conversation with gender nonconforming writer and performer Jacob Tobia as they explore the complexities of manhood in today's society. Jacob, a member of Forbes' 30 Under 30 and the voice behind the non-binary character Double Trouble in Netflix's She-Ra, shares insights from their new book, Before They Were Men: Essays on Manhood, Compassion, and What Went Wrong, which releases on August 26, 2025. Affiliate link to the book https://amzn.to/3JuhaoS

In this episode, we discuss the need for compassion towards men, the impact of societal expectations on young boys, and the importance of redefining masculinity. Jacob's candid reflections on their personal journey and the cultural narratives surrounding gender challenge us to rethink our perspectives on manhood and the emotional struggles many face.

Key themes include:
- The harmful effects of toxic masculinity and the need for a shift towards safe masculinity
- Understanding the struggles of young men and boys within the gender binary
- The importance of empathy and connection in feminist discourse
- Insights into the incel phenomenon and the need for compassion

Join us for this enlightening discussion that encourages listeners to foster understanding and healing in a world that often feels divided. Jacob's powerful message is one of hope, urging us all to create a kinder, more inclusive future.

Connect with Jacob Tobia: https://jacobtobia.com/ on Instagram @jacobtobia

Quotes from Jacob Tobia

"It is time I stop avoiding the heart of the work that I owe the world."

"Men and boys are suffering spiritually under the gender binary now."

"The term toxic masculinity is now a game of telephone and it's gone terribly."

"We need to shift our conversation toward compassion for men."

"Learning to have empathy for people who hurt you is not easy work."

Podcast Host Ruan Willow: Current books on sale

Zesty Entanglements https://books.ruanwillowauthor.com/zestyentanglements

Servicing the Work Men: Her Filthy Hotwife Adventures https://books.ruanwillowauthor.com/servicingtheworkmenherfilthyhotwifeadventures

Mallory and Derek Attend Secret Parties https://books.ruanwillowauthor.com/malloryandderekattendsecretparties

Get 25% OFF of Ruan's books on her store site: for the month of August 2025:

https://payhip.com/RuanWillowBooks

Support the show

Exclusives https://www.buzzsprout.com/1599808/subscribe
Newsletters https://subscribepage.io/ruanwillow
https://linktr.ee/RuanWillow

Affiliates Firm Tech 15% OFF with code ruan15 https://myfirmtech.com/ruanwillow

BeeDee dating app https://beedee.app/?r=ohfuckyeah
The Fantasy Box DATE30 for $30 OFF 1st box https://thefantasybox.sjv.io/c/6250602/2141126/26423