Ever raised venture capital? Then you’ve definitely heard some version of:
“It’s a bit too early for us.”
“What if Google builds this?”
“Ping me when you have a lead.”
In Episode 7 of UnicornPrn, Melissa and Lloyed crack open the cliché-filled, gaslight-ridden world of fundraising conversations. They expose the truth behind fake praise, soft NOs, and the cult of “value-add” investors.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
✅ How to decode the top 10 most common VC phrases
✅ Why “Let us know how we can help” is investor ghosting in disguise
✅ When “you’re not thinking big enough” actually means we don’t get it
✅ How to navigate value-add promises that vanish post-wire

Hot Takes:

✅ “Founders get confused when someone’s interested, but they’re not actually making a move. Interest ≠ intent.”
✅ “Most VCs only give you confidence after someone else has given you conviction.”
So grab your Series A dreams and your Series Z patience, because this episode is your official VC-to-English dictionary.
Tune in. Wake up. Think hard. Build smart.

Contact UnicornPrn

• Find show notes of each episode on UnicornPrn.com - hit subscribe like it owes you money

About our hosts

• Melissa Kwan is Cofounder and CEO of eWebinar, and a 3X bootstrapper who has spent the last 14 years building companies without ever raising a cent of venture capital.
• Lloyed Lobo is a WSJ bestselling author, Cofounder of Boast.AI and Traction founder community, startup advisor, angel investor, board member, and LP in multiple VC funds — he’s seen startup chaos from both sides of the term sheet.
• LinkedIn: Melissa Kwan and Lloyed Lobo
• Instagram: @themelissakwan and @lloyedlobo⁠⁠
• YouTube: @themlissakwan and @StartupTraction
• Subscribe to 'your founder next door' at melissakwan.com, Melissa's bi-monthly newsletter on how to build a company without an abundance of resources and fr...

Is “culture fit” the secret sauce of team cohesion… or just startup speak for hiring people who look, think, and act exactly like you?

In Episode 6 of UnicornPrn, Melissa and Lloyed torch the startup world’s favorite excuse for bias, groupthink, and hiring your drinking buddies. They unpack how “culture fit” became a Trojan horse for toxic execs, lazy recruiting, and leadership that folds like a lawn chair under pressure.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

✅ Why “culture fit” is often just code for bias

✅ How the “beer test” broke your hiring

✅ Startup horror stories of culture gone wrong

✅ How to hire for culture add, not fit

✅ A playbook for building an intentional culture at scale.

Hot Takes:

✅ “What’s good for the leader should be good for everyone. Lead by example, no favoritism, one rule for all.”
✅ “Culture is not what you write on the wall, it’s how people behave when the leaders aren’t in the room.”

So grab your kombucha, cancel your ping-pong table budget, and maybe double-check that Slack gossip channel… because this episode goes full HR-horror story mode.

Tune in. Wake up. Think hard. Build smart.

Contact UnicornPrn

• Find show notes of each episode on UnicornPrn.com - hit subscribe like it owes you money

About our hosts

• Melissa Kwan is Cofounder and CEO of eWebinar, and a 3X bootstrapper who has spent the last 14 years building companies without ever raising a cent of venture capital.
• Lloyed Lobo is a WSJ bestselling author, Cofounder of Boast.AI and Traction founder community, startup advisor, angel investor, board member, and LP in multiple VC funds — he’s seen startup chaos from both sides of the term sheet.
• LinkedIn: Melissa Kwan and Lloyed Lobo
• Instagram: @themelissakwan and @lloyedlobo⁠⁠
• YouTube: @themlissakwan and @StartupTraction
• Subscribe to 'your founder next door' at melissakwan.com, Melissa's bi-monthly newsletter on how to build a company without an abundance of resources and fr...

In startup land, everyone acts like hiring’s a cheat code… “just add a rockstar!” But what if that rockstar needs a brief for everything, tanks morale, or burns $280K on vaporware?

In Episode 5 of UnicornPrn, Melissa and Lloyed discuss the hiring disasters that don’t make it to TechCrunch, from corporate dinosaurs who can’t function without minions to vibe hires who vanish before onboarding.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
✅ Why early-stage hiring is high-stakes and emotionally loaded
✅ The common bad hire archetypes that will quietly (or loudly) kill your company
✅ Red flag checklists to spot bad fits before they destroy your culture
✅ When to hire, when to fire, and how to test-drive before you commit

Hot Takes:
✅ “If you keep hiring for tenure over trajectory, you will become the very thing you set out to disrupt.”
✅ “You need to think about hiring as a fiscally responsible decision.”

Grab your popcorn (and maybe your severance template), because this one’s loaded with red flags, cut-worthy hires, and savage founder truths that'll save your runway from going up in flames.

Tune in. Wake up. Think hard. Build smart.

Contact UnicornPrn

• Find show notes of each episode on UnicornPrn.com - hit subscribe like it owes you money

About our hosts

• Melissa Kwan is Cofounder and CEO of eWebinar, and a 3X bootstrapper who has spent the last 14 years building companies without ever raising a cent of venture capital.
• Lloyed Lobo is a WSJ bestselling author, Cofounder of Boast.AI and Traction founder community, startup advisor, angel investor, board member, and LP in multiple VC funds — he’s seen startup chaos from both sides of the term sheet.
• LinkedIn: Melissa Kwan and Lloyed Lobo
• Instagram: @themelissakwan and @lloyedlobo⁠⁠
• YouTube: @themlissakwan and @StartupTraction
• Subscribe to 'your founder next door' at melissakwan.com, Melissa's bi-monthly newsletter on how to build a company without an abundance of resources and fr...