Getting along with people is an essential life skill. Satisfying human relations are key to thriving in the workplace, developing friendships, having a loving marriage and raising happy kids.Because people skills are so fundamental, this week's Shmuz offers something unique: a mini-course in social relations. With these basics under your belt, you’ll become more than just well-liked; you’ll be more effective in achieving your goals.

You know that you’re meant to serve Hashem out of joy and love. How can you do this if you don’t really feel it? What should you do when you know you should be grateful, but your life is plagued with difficulties and it’s hard to feel Hashem’s love?

Join Rabbi Shafier as he tackles this question head-on in an incredibly encouraging and inspiring Shmuz.

How fragile is your ego?

We are all familiar with people that have a hard time admitting they could be wrong. No matter the misdemeanor, never mind the evidence in front of them, they refuse to acknowledge the facts and stick to their story as if their very lives depend on it. Unfortunately, this quirk is not just limited to hardened criminals and pathological narcissists. Within all of us is the overwhelming desire to protect our ego and soothe our sense of self. It’s very unpleasant to admit we could be wrong. Unpleasant and humbling. Ultimately, our very purpose on this planet is to work on our middos and become the very best version of ourselves. And that version includes being truthful. It includes courageously learning humility. And it includes developing the psychological fortitude to be ok with being wrong.

The Chovos HaLevovos (Shaar HaBitachon) explains that one of the basics of our belief system is, “You can’t harm me; you can’t help me.” Everything is decreed by HASHEM. Every ounce of suffering, every event that is to befall a person is all decided, defined and directed by HASHEM Himself. No human being can inflict damage to me that wasn’t already decided by HASHEM.

With this cognition comes a deep understanding: the doctor isn’t the determinant of whether I live or die, the threat isn’t the failing economy, and the danger isn’t man. All humans are powerless to affect my destiny. And all along, I am always safe and sound, guarded and protected.

From the moment the Jewish People arrived at Har Sinai, it became a frightening and awe inspiring experience. Why did Hashem want to evoke fear into us? If this was to be the wedding between Klal Yisroel and the Ribbono Shel Olam, shouldn’t it have been music instead of thunder and lightning? Rabbi Shafier explains that the purpose of the fear was to drive home the message of responsibility. By accepting the Torah, we not only had the power to change the world, the very existence of the world became dependent on us. Because of matan Torah, Klal Yisroel is now responsible for energizing both the physical and spiritual worlds. What an awesome achariyus!

Comparison and judgment are part of the human experience. Subconsciously or not, we are constantly asking ourselves, am I and my family acceptable in society? Where do I rank, compared with my peers? For some of us, our very sense of self is intrinsically linked to how we think others see us and where we think we’re holding in the competition of life. The problem is, we hardly ever pause to consider what our ranking will be in the World to Come. And the scary part is that many of us will, after ad meah v’esrim, be embarrassed by our shortcomings. You see, we are in competition. But the competition of life is between me and myself. Join Rabbi Shafier as he delves into how you can succeed in accomplishing your own ‘personal best’, one step at a time.

Throughout history all things change: except for anti-Semitism.

Is there a Torah perspective that can explain why the Jewish nation is so tortured and oppressed? If we accept that Hashem is in control of everything, is there a reason why His nation, the Chosen People, are so downtrodden? Are there forces involved that control the very destiny of Klal Yisrael?

In this previously recorded Shmuz Live, Rabbi Shafier explores some of the underlying causes of Jew hatred and what messages you can take from current events.

Let them become holy. The command that has echoed throughout our history and enjoins us to be separate and unique, a beloved holy nation that will forever stand apart. But how special can I be, when I’m just one out of seven billion people on this planet?
In the third class of the series, Rabbi Shafier empowers us to recognize our inherent closeness to the Ribbono Shel Olam. When we fully internalize that whatever we experience, Hashem experiences as well, we gain a glimpse into His love for us and His belief in us. Those that stood at Har Sinai saw with complete clarity their unlimited ability to achieve, to grow, to accomplish. We have the same power within us. By tapping into the messages of Shavuos, we too can learn how to unleash our potential and can continue the year with a renewed sense of energy and purpose.