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- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

Triggers are a clue to our dissociated Traumas - So says Carolyn Spring in Part 2 of her article on Managing Triggers: https://www.carolynspring.com/blog/we-have-two-choices-when-triggered/

The past events that we want to avoid thinking about or confronting, may be the very things that we need to go after and change. That sounds like hard work and painful - to me. Yet - it may be worth it people!

Triggers can signpost us to unresolved issues that have set up 'avoidance'. They are possible pointers to where some key work awaits your attention.

Triggers are in fact useful guides. "Are you kidding Gary? They don't feel like that". Prove it.

They may be our brain's best attempt to keep us safe by giving us maximum warning time to get ready to respond. Over the years, a maladaptive pattern of responding, has been established by use of the compulsive pattern of behaviours. That has become the normative response to quell the uncomfortable feelings and emotions.

Tell me more. Well - let's sit down and chat with the Amygdala (a part of the brain). Try to persuade it to tone down the response of its 'smoke alarm' warning siren. Maybe it will listen - or not!

You definitely hear me cough, cough, coughing and spluttering, trying to get your attention - that the Amygdale ain't listening to you! Definitely rebellion in the ranks.

It thinks it knows better than you and ain't gonna change any time soon. It will threaten to go on strike first. You'll have an even bigger problem.

So, what are you gonna do after you stop beating it up? It's best endeavours to protect you, have gone awry.

Let The Kairos Centre teach you more about Carolyn Spring's clever and creative ways to turn down the sensitivity of the Amygdala; and even turn off aspects of it.

Give a little to my fund raising page here, to help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentre

Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp

The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; discover the real, authentic you. email info@kairos-centre.com

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

Send us a text

- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

Triggers don't play fair. They are often unpredictable (like a music track which comes on) and moves you from chilled to a fight to maintain sobriety. So underhand. Not a nice play partner.

Carolyn Springer talks about the aftermaths of Triggers, from the sense of Shame, Self-blame, failure, powerlessness, critical self-talk, being out of control.

What is this 'Shame of being Triggers?' Anyone identify with that expression?

Are there only three types of Triggers - which need managing? Not sure about that, but Carolyn Springer knows better:
1. Uncomfortable Associations
2. Distressing Reminders
3. True Triggers

She advocates splitting the problem up into those three types of triggers; work out a strategy for each, whilst asking if the Trigger is an Association, a Reminder or a True/Real/Emergency/Fight Flight Freeze type Trigger.
https://www.carolynspring.com/three-types-of-trigger-three-techniques-for-taming/

Begin the process of empowering self with knowledge - from "learning to manage my critical self-talk and self-soothe rather than lacerate myself after being triggered was a key waymaker on my journey of recovery...."

Remember the correct order. Don't first of all go after changing behaviours. First, change your thinking/(cognition) and in so doing, you change your life, because changed behaviour will follow afoot.

In all your getting, get understanding. In getting understanding, gain wisdom - over time. No quick fixes remember. Don't beat up your brain for the ways it is trying to help you, even though it is doing so amiss - at the moment.

Let The Kairos Centre teach you and journey with you.

Give a little to my fund raising page here, to help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentre

Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp

The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; discover the real, authentic you. email info@kairos-centre.com

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

Send us a text

- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

The cave man/cave woman response of Fight/Flight/Freeze, is alive and well. Don't beat your brain up too badly. It is just doing what it was designed to do to protect you.

The options it chooses or gravitates to, are at times, rather dubious and for Sex Addicts. The relief only lasts 5 minutes, but a much longer regret and repercussion timeframe. The brain needs re-training.

Stress, tension, anxiety, worry, boredom, loss, rejection, conflict and fear are just a few of the adverse emotions which cause loss of homeostasis and ramps up the brain into action - to protect you with Fight/Flight/Freeze. Realise, however, it isn't only negative emotions that trigger a desire. So also, does reward entitlement, which plants the seed of 'I deserve', 'I'm entitled', 'I earned it', 'It's my right','give me lushness'; often flowing from an existing dopamine high from other (non-sexual) activities.

The well carved out grove of entitlement, fires the neural pathway into action. It gets it's cue from the smoke alarm in the brain - the Amygdala. The message it gets is 'let's do what we always do'. No thought is needed or indeed can be reasoned, since the logical brain is nowhere to be found. It has gone offline.

There is no point at all shouting "The cave man/cave woman alarm isn't telling the truth". It is futile. 'Protect and survive' kicks in. 'Acting out" is the drug of choice. 'Feels' too powerful to fight. But even 'Feelings' ain't telling the truth. There is a conspiracy at work and you are losing.

Same old, same old, same old patterns of behaviours galvanise and will repeatedly do so until you begin to carve out a new positive hamster wheel habit of behaviours; a new neural pathway response to those emotions.

12 steps attendance is needed, but on its own, it mostly is not enough. You need an A-Z Recovery Programme. Stop flirting around the edges with lesser endeavours.

Isn't it time to take first steps to craving out that new positive neural pathway/Hamster wheel/habit - which serves you better. A new beginning beckons and awaits you.

Let the Kairos Centre come alongside you to reclaim your quality of living life - without shame - bringing colour back to life.

Give a little to my fund raising page here, to help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentre

Want to know more? Click the link and come get me.

Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp

Discover the real, authentic you - without shame.

The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme. www.kairos-centre.com.

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity |