How does growing up with a PDA sibling shape a child’s identity, needs, and voice? In this episode of The PDA Parenting Podcast, Amy Kotha explores the often overlooked experience of siblings in families raising a child with Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA autism).

Drawing from her own family’s story and her experience as a parent coach, Amy shares:

• How PDA shapes family dynamics and sibling roles
  
  
  
• Personal reflections on her daughter Devi’s journey as the sister of a PDAer
  
  
  
• A breakdown of common survival roles and how they show up in siblings
  
  
  
• Gentle, actionable ways to name, validate, and repair sibling experiences in high-stress homes
  
  
  

The concept of survival roles—like the Hero, Mascot, Lost Child, and Scapegoat—has its roots in family systems theory. But in the context of parenting neurodivergent or trauma-impacted children, I lean on the work of Robyn Gobbel, especially in Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors. She reframes these roles as nervous system adaptations, not character flaws—helping us see them with more compassion and flexibility.

Whether you're a parent carrying guilt, a sibling seeking understanding, or a professional supporting PDA families, this episode offers compassion, clarity, and hope.

🎧 Tune in to learn how to better support all the children in your home - not just the one in crisis.

🔗 Free printable: “Invisible Roles in PDA Households” available at www.amykcoach.com

🟡 Next episode: A powerful conversation with Amy’s daughter Devi on what it’s really like growing up with a PDA sibling!

Resource/Citation:

Gobbel, Robyn. Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: The Neuroscience of Connection and Communication.

Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2023.

In this powerful and deeply personal episode, Amy is joined by her daughter Maya - who shares her lived experience as a PDA autistic teen. Together, they explore the PDA experience of feeling trapped: at school, in the medical system, and inside her own mind.

From second-grade meltdowns to high school shutdowns to hospital sensory overwhelm, Maya speaks candidly about what “feeling trapped” really means for someone with a PDA profile. Amy and Maya discuss nervous system overwhelm, the importance of autonomy, why being heard matters, and how PDAers often struggle to express what’s happening internally.

This episode is a must-listen for parents, teachers, and professionals looking to better understand and support PDA kids from the inside out.

If this episode helped you, please subscribe and leave a 5-star review—it helps other PDA parents find this podcast!

In this episode, Amy Kotha explores the powerful theme of feeling trapped - a core experience for many PDA autistic kids and a familiar reality for their parents, too. She breaks down what “trapped” looks like at different ages and shares five ways to help everyone in the family feel more free.

For PDAers, trapped doesn’t just mean physically stuck - it’s about a lack of autonomy, emotional overwhelm, and a nervous system in constant survival mode. Amy walks through how this shows up in kids, teens, and parents alike, and offers strategies to break the cycle: scaffolding with care, shifting expectations, balancing power, and watching for learned helplessness.

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe and leave a 5-star review—it helps other parents find this support!

Resources/Sources Mentioned:

Amanda Diekman, Low Demand Parenting https://www.amandadiekman.com/