In today’s episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with world-renowned psychiatrist, author, and DBT expert Dr. Blaise Aguirre to tackle the complex topic of self-hatred. As a pioneer in the treatment of borderline personality disorder (BPD) and adolescent mental health at McLean Hospital, Dr. Aguirre offers a compassionate and illuminating perspective on how self-hatred forms, why it’s so persistent, and how we can work toward healing.

Dr. Aguirre explains why self-hatred is often learned early in life through invalidating experiences and abusive environments and why it differs from self-criticism or depression. He introduces practical tools to break free from self-loathing, such as identifying its roots, recognizing toxic relationships, and taking steps to separate identity from these damaging beliefs.

We also discuss the challenges of treating patients with self-hatred, the transformative power of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and how his latest book, I Hate Myself, provides a groundbreaking resource for those suffering from this deeply ingrained struggle.

If you’ve ever wrestled with feelings of unworthiness or struggled to overcome negative beliefs about yourself, this episode is packed with strategies, hope, and actionable advice to help you move toward a healthier relationship with yourself.

00:15 — Introduction: Meet Dr. Blaise Aguirre
02:00 — From Philosophy to Psychiatry: Dr. Aguirre’s Career Path
07:30 — Understanding Self-Hatred: How It Develops and Why It Persists
15:00 — The Role of Validation in Parenting and Mental Health
20:45 — The DBT Approach: Why Skills-Based Therapy Works for BPD and Self-Hatred
27:00 — Breaking Down Self-Hatred: Separating It from the Self
34:20 — Overcoming Self-Hatred: Practical Tools and Steps for Healing
40:15 — The Importance of Compassionate Treatment in Mental Health Care
45:00 — A Sneak Peek Into I Hate Myself
50:20 — What Parents and Caregivers Need to Know
57:00 — Dr. Aguirre’s Final Thoughts on Healing and Hope

I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to break down complex mental health topics into relatable, actionable advice. On this podcast, we dive deep into mental health, personal development, and the strategies that help us thrive. Each episode features expert interviews, practical tips, and answers to listener questions, all designed to help you live a healthier, more fulfilled life.

• Dr. Blaise Aguirre’s Website: www.IHateMyselfBook.com
• Learn More About DBT: McLean Hospital’s DBT Program
• I Hate Myself: Dr. Aguirre’s Latest Book (Coming February 2025)

• Website: duffthepsych.com
• Instagram: @duffthepsych
• YouTube: Dr. Duff’s Channel

This episode is brought to you by NoCD, a leading provider of virtual therapy for obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). If intrusive thoughts and compulsions are impacting your daily life, NoCD offers specialized Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy. Schedule a free 15-minute consultation to learn more at www.nocd.com.

Hope you find this conversation as inspiring and thought-provoking as I did! Don’t forget to share your thoughts and takeaways in the comments.

#MentalHealth #SelfHatred #BlaiseAguirre #DBT #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #SelfCompassion #TraumaHealing #Parenting #Mindfulness #SelfHelp

In this special episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I lead you through a guided meditation designed to help you let go of mental burdens and find focus in an overwhelming world. Using visualization techniques and intentional breathing exercises, this meditation offers a space to acknowledge your stressors, release tension, and tap into a feeling of calm and clarity.

This experience is set in a vivid mindscape of space, where you can imagine yourself aboard a futuristic spacecraft, surrounded by the beauty of the cosmos. Together, we’ll navigate through moments of recognition, release, and rejuvenation. By the end of this session, you’ll feel more centered and grounded, with a renewed connection to how you’d like to move forward.

Whether you’re a seasoned meditator or new to mindfulness, this episode is a judgment-free zone to focus on yourself. Bookmark it to return to anytime you need a mental reset.

Sponsor
This episode is brought to you by NOCD, a leading provider of virtual therapy for obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). If you’re stuck in cycles of overthinking, compulsive behaviors, or intrusive thoughts, NOCD offers specialized treatment using Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP)—a gold-standard therapy for OCD.

They provide virtual sessions with licensed therapists, accept many major insurance plans, and offer support between sessions to make treatment as accessible as possible.

Visit https://www.nocd.com to schedule a free 15-minute consultation and take the first step toward relief. For more insights on OCD and ERP, check out my interview with Dr. Patrick McGrath in episode 406 of this podcast.

Chapters:

• 00:15 — Introduction: Why This Meditation Matters
• 03:00 — Sponsor: NOCD – Treatment for OCD Symptoms
• 04:30 — Setting the Scene: Guided Visualization in Space
• 08:00 — Acknowledging and Offloading Mental Burdens
• 13:00 — Breathing for Release: Techniques to Let Go
• 17:00 — Choosing Your Focus and Setting Your Intention
• 19:30 — Relaxation Breathing and Body Scan
• 25:00 — Final Reflections and Letting the Experience Settle

About the Podcast
I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to make mental health topics relatable and actionable. Whether through guided meditations like this one, Q&A sessions, or expert interviews, I aim to help you navigate life’s challenges with clarity and confidence.

Connect With Me:

• Website: https://duffthepsych.com
• Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych
• YouTube: https://youtube.com/duffthepsych

Hashtags:
#GuidedMeditation #Mindfulness #MentalHealth #Relaxation #StressRelief #SelfHelp

In this inspiring episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with Dr. Jordan Grumet, a hospice director, author, and podcast host, to explore how we can transform our lives by embracing the concept of “little p purpose.” Dr. Grumet shares insights from his latest book, The Purpose Code, which offers actionable strategies to uncover and build a meaningful life, regardless of your circumstances.

Our conversation dives deep into the difference between “big P Purpose” (society’s lofty, often unattainable ideals) and “little p purpose” (daily actions that bring joy and meaning). Dr. Grumet shares his personal journey—from losing his father at a young age to becoming a physician driven by unresolved trauma, to ultimately finding fulfillment by pursuing his passions for writing, speaking, and connecting with others.

Key takeaways from our discussion include practical ways to recognize your purpose anchors, how to turn regrets into motivations, and why pursuing joy in small, intentional ways can lead to profound impact and lasting legacy. We also explore how Dr. Grumet’s work in hospice has shaped his understanding of what truly matters in life, highlighting lessons from those at the end of their journeys.

This episode is packed with wisdom for anyone feeling stuck, searching for meaning, or simply looking to live with more intentionality and joy.

Sponsor
This episode is brought to you by NOCD, a leading provider of virtual therapy for obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). If you're caught in an endless loop of “what-ifs” or struggling with obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors, NOCD offers specialized, evidence-based therapy designed just for OCD—Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). They accept many major insurance plans, making it accessible and affordable, with support available between therapy sessions.

Take the first step by visiting https://www.nocd.com to schedule a free 15-minute call with their team. Plus, check out my interview with Dr. Patrick McGrath, NOCD’s Chief Clinical Officer, on episode 406 of this podcast to learn more about OCD and their approach.

Chapters:

• 00:15 — Introduction: Meet Dr. Jordan Grumet
• 02:00 — Finding Purpose After Loss: Dr. Grumet’s Early Life
• 06:15 — Purpose Anchors: Joyful Work vs. Goal-Oriented Burnout
• 10:45 — Lessons from the Hospice Life Review
• 16:30 — Regrets of the Dying: Turning Regret into Action
• 20:00 — Building Purpose When You Feel Stuck
• 24:15 — Tools and Levers: Joy of Addition and Art of Subtraction
• 30:00 — The Difference Between Meaning and Purpose
• 37:00 — How Small Joys Create Big Impact and Legacy
• 44:15 — Practical Steps to Start Building a Purposeful Life
• 50:30 — Final Takeaways: Finding Your Purpose Anchors

About the Podcast
I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to break down complex mental health topics into relatable, actionable advice. Each episode dives deep into mental health, personal development, and strategies for living authentically and fulfilling your potential.

Guest Links

• Dr. Grumet’s Website: https://jordangrumet.com
• The Purpose Code: https://jordangrumet.com/books
• Podcast: https://www.earnandinvest.com/episodes

Connect With Me:

• Website: https://duffthepsych.com
• Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych
• YouTube: https://youtube.com/duffthepsych

#MentalHealth #Purpose #PersonalDevelopment #Legacy #SelfHelp #Mindfulness