Introduction: Kris and Jenn sit down with Karen Rellos, founder of Restored Hope Coaching and Redeeming Love Marriage Ministry. Karen, a certified betrayal trauma coach, joins the conversation to shed light on a topic that affects many relationships—Intimacy Deprivation, also known as Intimacy Atrophy (IA). With her extensive background in helping women navigate betrayal trauma, Karen offers valuable insights into the causes, impacts, and healing journey surrounding intimacy deprivation in relationships.

Key Highlights:

1. What is Intimacy Atrophy?
   • Karen explains Intimacy Atrophy as a gradual loss of emotional, physical, or spiritual connection within a relationship. The term highlights the diminishing closeness and vulnerability in relationships, which can deeply impact both partners.
2. Root Causes of Intimacy Deprivation:
   • According to Karen, the root causes of Intimacy Atrophy often lie in unresolved emotional wounds, betrayal trauma, or avoidance of vulnerability. She discusses how individuals who struggle with intimacy deprivation may have past hurts or emotional blockages that prevent them from fully engaging in the relationship.
3. Behaviors and Coping Mechanisms:
   • Karen outlines common behaviors associated with intimacy deprivation, including emotional withdrawal, detachment, or the avoidance of meaningful connection. These coping mechanisms may develop as a way to shield oneself from emotional pain but ultimately contribute to a lack of closeness in the relationship.
4. Impact on the Partner and Relationship:
   • Karen explains how intimacy atrophy can lead to feelings of rejection, loneliness, and frustration in the partner who desires deeper connection, creating further strain and misunderstandings.
5. Healing and Recovery:
   • Karen emphasizes that healing from intimacy deprivation is possible. She describes the recovery process, which involves addressing the root causes, developing emotional awareness, and taking intentional steps toward rebuilding intimacy.
6. A Word of Encouragement:
   • In closing, Karen offers a heartfelt message to listeners, encouraging them to stay committed to the journey of healing and growth. She reminds them that it’s possible to rekindle intimacy and build stronger, more fulfilling connections.

Connect with Us:

• Karen Rellos: Restored Hope Coaching and Redeeming Love Marriage Ministry.
• Watermark Coach
• Healing with the Howies
• Follow us on Instagram: @WatermarkCoaching

Thank you for listening! Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review our podcast to stay updated on future episodes and help others find the help and support they deserve. 🌟

This podcast is sponsored by and produced with the support of www.purelifealliance.com

In this episode, we welcome Diane Schnickels, founder of Living Waters of Hope and a dedicated advocate for survivors of domestic abuse. Diane brings her extensive experience and compassionate approach to discuss when sex addiction crosses the line into abuse. She has developed crucial resources like the Oasis Bible Study and the Hope Giver Essentials training program, empowering women to heal and reclaim their lives. Today, Diane shares her insights on recognizing the signs of abuse related to sex addiction and provides valuable guidance on supporting those affected.

Key Highlights:

1. Deceit and Betrayal: Repeated lying and secretive behavior that creates mistrust.
2. Emotional Manipulation: Gaslighting and minimizing actions that distort reality.
3. Neglect and Abandonment: The emotional neglect caused by prioritizing addiction over the relationship.
4. Sexual Coercion or Pressure: The importance of consent and respecting boundaries.
5. Financial Exploitation: Misuse of joint finances for addiction-related expenses.
6. Exposure to STDs: Health risks posed by undisclosed risky sexual behaviors.
7. Impact on Mental Health: Anxiety, depression, and PTSD as consequences of dealing with a partner's sex addiction.

Connect with Us:

• Living Waters of Hope
• Visit our website: Watermark Coach
• Follow us on Instagram: @WatermarkCoaching

Thank you for listening! Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review our podcast to stay updated on future episodes and help others find the help and support they deserve. 🌟

• Produced and edited by Kris Rocha & Jeremy Waldridge

This podcast is sponsored by and produced with the support of www.purelifealliance.com

On this episode of BRT, we have a special guest, Pastor Nick Stumbo. Nick is the Executive Director of Pure Desire Ministries and has an extensive background in pastoral ministry. He began his ministry career at East Hills Alliance Church in Kelso, Washington, where he served as lead pastor for over a decade. Confronted with his own pornography addiction, Nick and his wife, Michelle, found hope and healing through Pure Desire’s counseling and group ministries. His public disclosure led to a revival of forgiveness and healing within his church, and he continues to lead the way in helping churches become places of healing.

Episode Description: In this episode, Kris, Jenn, and Nick share a powerful message for pastors and clergy on effectively supporting women going through betrayal trauma. Using the analogy of how a paramedic would treat a severe wound, they provide six key steps for clergy and support personnel to follow:

Key Highlights:

1. Assess the Severity of the Wound - Listen to Her: Nick emphasizes the importance of actively listening to the betrayed spouse, believing her reality, and displaying genuine sympathy. Show kindness and care to provide solace during her crisis.
2. Stop the Bleeding - Focus on the immediate need, not the marriage. Avoid cause-and-effect thinking and allow her to express her emotions and needs at her own pace. Asking "permission questions" will help the clergy better understand her urgent concerns and priorities.
3. Bandage the Wound & Stabilize the Patient - Educate Her About the Healing Process. Inform her there is a healing process, and she will not be alone. Don’t Rush Forgiveness: Understand forgiveness and avoid minimizing the situation. Guide Her in the Present: Help her focus on the "now" and provide comfort and hope. Teach the Keys to Rebuilding Trust: Discuss sincerity, ability, and durability as crucial elements of rebuilding trust.
4. Treat for Shock - Normalize the Experience: Minimize isolation, emotional flooding, and embarrassment by providing community and helping her deal with emotions. Provide Community: Connect her with others who understand her situation and can offer support.
5. Support the Injury - Offer Support: Provide resources, encourage her to grieve, help her establish a circle of trust, and teach the importance of healthy boundaries.
6. If the Wound is Too Severe, Call 911 - Ask for Help: Refer her to trained professionals like CSATs, PSAPs, CCPSs, and C-SASIs for specialized support. "When in doubt, refer out!"

Connect with Us:

• Visit our website: Watermark Coach
• Follow us on Instagram: @WatermarkCoaching
• Pure Desire Ministries: https://puredesire.org

Thank you for listening! Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review our podcast to stay updated on future episodes. 🌟

• This episode's content was written and produced by Kris Rocha
• Edited by: Dan Howie

This podcast is produced with the support of: www.purelifealliance.com

Welcome to the 20th episode of The Betrayal Recovery Transformation Podcast! This is a significant milestone for us, and we're thrilled to celebrate it with a special guest, Debby Flanagan. Debby is a clinician with Pure Desire Ministries, where she serves as a Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional. She holds a Bachelor's degree from Corban University and has an Advanced Certification through the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP). Debby is dedicated to helping individuals who are struggling with sexual and emotional issues, guiding them through their healing journey with compassion and expertise.

Episode Description: In this milestone episode, we dive deep into the topic of trauma with Debby Flanagan. Debby shares her profound knowledge of trauma, how it affects our brain and body, and its impacts on our relationships. She also discusses common signs and symptoms of trauma, how to recognize it within ourselves, practical strategies for recovery, and ways to support someone who is dealing with trauma.

Key Highlights:

1. Understanding Trauma:
   • Debby explains what trauma is and the different forms it can take. She provides insights into how trauma can stem from various sources and how it manifests in our lives.
2. Effects on Brain and Body:
   • Learn about the physiological and psychological impacts of trauma. Debby discusses how trauma affects brain function, the nervous system, and overall physical health.
3. Impacts on Relationships:
   • Discover how trauma can influence our interactions and relationships. Debby highlights the challenges and dynamics that trauma introduces into personal and interpersonal connections.
4. Common Signs and Symptoms:
   • Debby outlines the typical signs and symptoms of trauma, helping listeners to identify these in themselves or others. Understanding these indicators is crucial for initiating the healing process.
5. Recognizing Trauma Within Ourselves:
   • Debby shares strategies for self-awareness and self-reflection to recognize trauma within ourselves. She emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and validating our experiences.
6. Practical Strategies for Recovery:
   • Gain practical advice and tools for trauma recovery. Debby discusses therapeutic approaches, self-care practices, and coping mechanisms that can aid in the healing journey.
7. Supporting Someone with Trauma:
   • Learn how to support someone who is dealing with trauma effectively. Debby guides by offering empathy, creating a safe space, and encouraging professional help.

Connect with Us:

• Visit our website: Watermark Coach
• Follow us on Instagram: @WatermarkCoaching

Thank you for listening! Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review our podcast to stay updated on future episodes. 🌟

• Produced by: Kris Rocha
• Edited by: Jeremy Waldrige

This podcast is produced with the support of: www.purelifealliance.com

Join hosts Kris Rocha and Jenn Howie for another enlightening episode of The Betrayal Recovery Transformation Podcast. Today, we welcome back Tammy Gustafson, a renowned betrayal trauma coach, therapist, writer, and speaker. Tammy is here to delve deeper into her "Four Phases of Healing After Betrayal," sharing her expert insights and personal experiences. This episode is packed with valuable information, laughter, and heartfelt moments.

About Tammy Gustafson: Tammy Gustafson is the founder of Betrayal Healing, a platform dedicated to helping women navigate the painful healing journey after betrayal. With over 15 years of experience as a licensed professional counselor specializing in trauma and PTSD, Tammy brings both professional expertise and personal understanding to her work. She is passionate about empowering women to reclaim their peace, confidence, and self-worth.

Key Highlights:

1. Phase 1: Reveal
   • In this initial phase, Tammy explains how individuals often feel shattered and overwhelmed by the betrayal. This phase focuses on uncovering the truth and acknowledging the reality of the situation. It's about confronting the painful facts and starting the journey towards healing.
2. Phase 2: Rumble
   • This phase involves wrestling with the emotional turmoil and confusion that follow the discovery of betrayal. Tammy emphasizes the importance of processing these intense emotions and beginning to understand their impact on one's life and relationships.
3. Phase 3: Realign
   • Tammy outlines strategies for realigning one’s life and identity after betrayal. This phase is about setting boundaries, rediscovering self-worth, and creating a new vision for the future. It's a time for making conscious choices about what one wants their life to look like moving forward.
4. Phase 4: Rebuild
   • In the final phase, Tammy talks about rebuilding and thriving beyond the pain of betrayal. This phase highlights the journey towards regaining joy, strength, and a renewed sense of purpose. It's about constructing a life that reflects one's true values and aspirations.

Conclusion: Tune in to this insightful episode as Tammy Gustafson breaks down her Four Phases of Healing After Betrayal. Laugh with us, learn from Tammy's profound wisdom, and take away practical tools to aid in your own healing journey. Subscribe to The Betrayal Recovery Transformation Podcast for more empowering stories and expert guidance on recovery and transformation.

Connect with Us:

• Visit our website: Watermark Coach
• Follow us on Instagram: @WatermarkCoaching
• Learn more about Tammy's work: Betrayal Healing

Thank you for listening! Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review our podcast to stay updated on future episodes. 🌟

• Produced by: Kris Rocha
• Edited by: Jeremy Waldrige

This podcast is produced with the support of: www.purelifealliance.com

In this mind-shifting, insightful episode of The Betrayal Recovery Transformation Podcast, Jenn and I had the pleasure of hosting Dr. Jill Manning. Dr. Manning is warm, caring, knowledgeable, and passionate about helping women heal. Today, she shares her expertise on a topic she's passionate about ... the impact of snooping, especially in the context of betrayal trauma. Get your notebooks ready, friends. This episode is packed with excellent information, tools, and tips.

About Dr. Jill Manning: Dr. Manning is a respected expert in the field of betrayal trauma. Her compassionate approach and wealth of knowledge demonstrate her dedication to helping women navigate their healing journeys.

Key Points Discussed:

1. Understanding Snooping: Dr. Manning explains snooping as an attempt to uncover information without direct confrontation. This can include searching through devices, reading personal journals, or hiring a private investigator.
2. Why People Snoop: It is common for individuals to snoop when they suspect deception or betrayal. Dr. Manning discusses the underlying motivations and the short-term sense of empowerment that snooping can bring.
3. Impact of Prolonged Snooping: The discussion covers the adverse effects of continued snooping, such as elevated stress levels, prolonged trauma symptoms, and increased mistrust of oneself and others.
4. Effects on Relationships: Dr. Manning highlights how snooping can damage relationships by reinforcing indirect communication, decreasing safety and respect, and keeping the relationship stuck in a toxic cycle.
5. Effective Strategies for Getting Information: Instead of snooping, Dr. Manning recommends focusing on self-care, setting effective boundaries, and using healthier methods to address suspicions and obtain information.
6. A Compassionate Invitation to Stop Snooping: Dr. Manning invites listeners to stop snooping, emphasizing that it deteriorates mental health and complicates trauma healing over time. She encourages finding supportive steps to foster growth and healing without resorting to snooping.

You can contact Dr. Jill Manning here:

https://drjillmanning.com

Insta: @drjillmanning

To receive Dr. Jill's FREE "The Impact of Snooping" handout, please email us at thebrtpodcast@gmail.com.

Thank you for listening! Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review our podcast to stay updated on future episodes and help others find the help and support they need. 🌟

• Coaching with Kris & Jenn: www.watermarkcoach.com www.healingwiththehowies.com

• Follow us on Instagram: @WatermarkCoaching@healingwiththehowies
• Produced by: Kris Rocha
• Edited by: Jeremy Waldrige

This podcast is produced with the support of: www.purelifealliance.com

Adrienne Friesen joins us on this episode about supporting a friend through trauma. She has been our friend for over 20 years and we can attest that she is naturally gifted at supporting and comforting friends during difficult and traumatic times in their lives. Today, she shares her wisdom and practical advice on how to be a steadfast friend during difficult times.

Key Points Discussed:

• Active Listening: Adrienne emphasizes the importance of truly listening to your friends. It's not just about hearing their words but also about understanding their emotions and validating their experiences.
• Offering Encouragement Without Bypassing Reality: Adrienne discusses encouraging friends without minimizing their pain or trying to fix their problems quickly. Acknowledging the reality of their situation is crucial.
• Creating a Safe Space: Learn how to create an environment where your friend feels safe to express their true feelings without judgment.
• Helping Others Stay Connected: Adrienne discusses the significance of assisting friends to stay connected with their community and support systems, even when they feel isolated by their trauma.
• Offering Practical Help: Practical support can be incredibly beneficial. Adrienne shares examples of ways to provide tangible help without overstepping boundaries.

Tune in to this episode for insightful tips and heartfelt advice on being a supportive friend to someone navigating the rough waters of trauma.

Thank you for listening! Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review our podcast to stay updated on future episodes. 🌟

• Coaching with Kris & Jenn: www.watermarkcoach.com www.healingwiththehowies.com

• Follow us on Instagram: @WatermarkCoaching@healingwiththehowies
• Produced by: Kris Rocha
• Edited by: Dan Howie

This podcast is produced with the support of: www.purelifealliance.com

Join hosts Kris Rocha and Jenn Howie in this special Story Spotlight episode of The Betrayal Recovery Transformation Podcast. Today, they are honored to feature author and speaker Tess Scott, who shares her inspiring journey of overcoming shame and replacing it with forgiveness and stepping into God's purpose for her life.

About Tess Scott: Tess Scott is a hilarious Christian speaker, a "black sheep turned Jesus girl", and the award-winning author of "Listen, Sister! Finding Hope in the Freakshow of Life." As a Canadian mother of 8, Tess is on a mission to help women with messy stories shed their shame and find hope.

Key Highlights:

1. From Black Sheep to Jesus Girl:
   • Tess shares her transformation journey, from feeling like the black sheep to finding solace and redemption in her faith.
2. Finding Hope in the Freakshow of Life:
   • As an award-winning author, Tess delves into her book "Listen, Sister!" and shares how she found hope amid life's chaos.
3. Overcoming Shame:
   • Tess opens up about her struggles with shame and how she learned to shed it, embracing God's plan and purpose for her life.
4. Encouragement for Others:
   • With her infectious humor and inspiring story, Tess encourages others to confront their shame, embrace their messy stories, and find hope and healing.

Tess is passionate about helping others eliminate toxic shame and finding transformative freedom in Christ. She'd love to hear from you!

Connect with Tess here: Home - Listen, sister... (tessscott.com)

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/listensistertessscott

Insta: Listen Sister Encouragement (@listensister_encouragement) • Instagram photos and videos

*** If you found this episode valuable, don't forget to subscribe, rate, and share The Betrayal Recovery Transformation Podcast to help others find the help and healing they need. ***

• Coaching with Kris & Jenn: www.watermarkcoach.com www.healingwiththehowies.com

• Follow us on Instagram: @WatermarkCoaching@healingwiththehowies
• Produced by: Kris Rocha
• Edited by: Dan Howie

This podcast is produced with the support of: www.purelifealliance.com