Like the show? Let us know! Comments, suggestions are open.

In this episode, we’re unpacking one of the most common—and most misunderstood—pieces of advice given to submissives: “Know your wants and needs.” But what does that really mean, and how do you figure out the difference? You’ll learn how to identify your core needs, why honoring them is essential to a healthy D/s relationship, and what happens when you settle for less than what truly fulfills you.

We’ll also explore common submissive-specific needs, how to communicate them, and how to check in with yourself (and your partner) as those needs evolve. Whether you're new to submission or deepening your dynamic, this episode will help you reflect, realign, and reclaim your right to have your needs met.

📝 Topics covered:

• The difference between wants and need
• Why needs matter more than you think
• How unmet needs impact submission and mental health
• Needs specific to D/s and power exchange
• Why settling is harmful (even if the dynamic feels “good enough”)
• Tools for identifying and ranking your needs
• Reflection prompts and next steps

Read the full version on Submissive Guide

🎧 Leave a review or share this episode with someone you care about. Every listen helps more submissives find the tools they need to thrive.

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This episode challenges the myth of the “perfect submissive” and explores how chasing flawlessness can lead to burnout, self-doubt, and disconnection. Instead of striving for an impossible ideal, submissives are encouraged to embrace authenticity, growth, and the beauty of their unique journey. Real submission isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being present, vulnerable, and enough just as you are.

🎧 Leave a review or share this episode with someone you care about. Every listen helps more submissives find the tools they need to thrive.

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A very special thank you to all who have joined our Patreon. You have helped transform Submissive Guide into one of the leading BDSM education sources online. We're overwhelmed with your generosity and support. Thank you.

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Using your safeword is never something to be afraid of. While it may sometimes mean stopping the scene, it also prevents you from going to places you’re not ready to explore. Yet, guilt or self-disappointment can make using a safeword feel like a failure for many. Fortunately, there are ways to address the guilt, disappointment, or fear around using or not using your safeword when it truly matters.

Thoughts to Ponder

1. What is your opinion about safewords? What value do they have in a relationship?
2. If you have withheld a safeword in the past, why did you do it? What were you trying to gain by doing so?
3. What other issues arise from using your safeword?

Interesting Links

• Things You Need to Know: Why Safewords Are Not Safe
• Some Thoughts About Safewords

🎧 Leave a review or share this episode with someone you care about. Every listen helps more submissives find the tools they need to thrive.

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A very special thank you to all who have joined our Patreon. You have helped transform Submissive Guide into one of the leading BDSM education sources online. We're overwhelmed with your generosity and support. Thank you.

_____

Looking for Submissive Guide elsewhere?

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Most people say ‘sorry’ or ‘I’m sorry’ far too often. You’re probably aware of whether this is an issue for you. If you struggle with frequent apologizing, you may need to take a different approach to find ways to express what you really mean.

The Art of Apology Series - Submissive Guide

🎧 Leave a review or share this episode with someone you care about. Every listen helps more submissives find the tools they need to thrive.

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►http://patreon.com/subguide

A very special thank you to all who have joined our Patreon. You have helped transform Submissive Guide into one of the leading BDSM education sources online. We're overwhelmed with your generosity and support. Thank you.

_____

Looking for Submissive Guide elsewhere?

►Site: http://www.submissiveguide.com
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Sub drop is a natural part of the BDSM experience, but it doesn't have to derail your enjoyment. Learn how to recognize the signs, prevent severe symptoms, and create a personalized aftercare plan that supports both your physical and emotional recovery. From building a drop kit to mastering self-care strategies, this guide empowers you to take control of your well-being and embrace every part of the journey with confidence.

Hormone Junkies Series:

• Adrenaline
• Oxytocin
• Testosterone
• Endorphins

More Resources:

• Sub Drop in Long-term relationships
• What is Aftercare, Why Do You Need It, and How to Ask for It
• Six Important Activities to Include in Your Aftercare Routine
• Self-Aftercare
• Submissive Guide FetLife Group

Get Your Copy of “Becoming a Service Submissive” Today!

🎧 Leave a review or share this episode with someone you care about. Every listen helps more submissives find the tools they need to thrive.

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Become a member and get more from Submissive Guide today.

►http://patreon.com/subguide

A very special thank you to all who have joined our Patreon. You have helped transform Submissive Guide into one of the leading BDSM education sources online. We're overwhelmed with your generosity and support. Thank you.

_____

Looking for Submissive Guide elsewhere?

►Site: http://www.submissiveguide.com
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Check Out My Books!
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Like the show? Let us know! Comments, suggestions are open.

We’ll cover the complexities of online submission, offering various safe environments to explore and learn the nuances of BDSM and discuss the potential benefits and dangers. We’ll help you navigate the online BDSM landscape with confidence and care.

🎧 Leave a review or share this episode with someone you care about. Every listen helps more submissives find the tools they need to thrive.

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Become a member and get more from Submissive Guide today.

►http://patreon.com/subguide

A very special thank you to all who have joined our Patreon. You have helped transform Submissive Guide into one of the leading BDSM education sources online. We're overwhelmed with your generosity and support. Thank you.

_____

Looking for Submissive Guide elsewhere?

►Site: http://www.submissiveguide.com
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Check Out My Books!
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Like the show? Let us know! Comments, suggestions are open.

A question I see asked all the time is, "How can I be a better submissive?" Here are a few things you can do to improve your submission and service without much work.

Resources -

• Non-sexual Service and How To Add It To Your Dynamic
• How Making a Cup of Coffee Centers Me
• Ritual Ideas: High Tea, Japanese Tea Ceremony and Formal Dining
• 3 Reasons a "Perpetual Student" Mindset Is Vital to Kink
• Create SMART Goals For Your New Year's Resolutions and Reach Your Goals This Year!
• The Importance of Journaling Your Submission
• 5 Simple Steps to Creating a Personal Submissive Mantra
• 365 Days of Submission
• Learning Good Observation Skills for Better Submissive Awareness
• Entering the Community: The Different Ways to Socialize with Local Kinksters
• Finding Your Submissive Voice: Speak Up for Better, Honest Communication
• Active Submission Means Always Improving Yourself
• A Submissive's Prime Directive: Take Care of the Property
• Submissive Guide Fet

🎧 Leave a review or share this episode with someone you care about. Every listen helps more submissives find the tools they need to thrive.

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►http://patreon.com/subguide

A very special thank you to all who have joined our Patreon. You have helped transform Submissive Guide into one of the leading BDSM education sources online. We're overwhelmed with your generosity and support. Thank you.

_____

Looking for Submissive Guide elsewhere?

►Site: http://www.submissiveguide.com
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►Patreon: https://patreon.com/subguide
►Discord: http://subgui.de/chat

Check Out My Books!
►https://subgui.de/store

Like the show? Let us know! Comments, suggestions are open.

Let's discuss how to build healthy communication skills in our D/s relationship and what a safe environment for difficult conversations looks like. I’ll give you the tools to develop a report with your partner that is full of trust, shared vulnerability, and compassion. You’ll learn that a safe environment for those challenging talks requires planning and mutual agreements to work as they should.

Resources:

Conversation Starters for Difficult Conversations: https://www.wikihow.com/images/sampledocs/f/Conversation-Starters-for-Difficult-Conversations.pdf

Kink Friendly Therapists:

• Psychology Today - https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/sex-positive-kink-allied
• Kink Friendly Therapy - http://kinkfriendlytherapy.com/resources-3/resources/
• Kink Aware Professionals Directory - https://www.kapprofessionals.org/

Domestic Abuse Hotlines:

US: https://www.thehotline.org/

UK: https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/

EU: https://www.improve-horizon.eu/helplines

🎧 Leave a review or share this episode with someone you care about. Every listen helps more submissives find the tools they need to thrive.

----

Become a member and get more from Submissive Guide today.

►http://patreon.com/subguide

A very special thank you to all who have joined our Patreon. You have helped transform Submissive Guide into one of the leading BDSM education sources online. We're overwhelmed with your generosity and support. Thank you.

_____

Looking for Submissive Guide elsewhere?

►Site: http://www.submissiveguide.com
►Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/subguide
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►YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/subguide
►Patreon: https://patreon.com/subguide
►Discord: http://subgui.de/chat

Check Out My Books!
►https://subgui.de/store