In today's episode, I discuss how grief makes me feel disconnected in my own life and why podcasting has been a natural and helpful fit for me in moving forward.

I love to talk about the importance of moving forward with our healing but often, I don't feel nearly as inspired as I sound. It doesn't feel natural to try to heal from losing a child and at times I feel like an imposture with a microphone for even suggesting it, like I am trying to convince the world to heal in a way that feels impossible for me to do myself.

The truth is, the number one reason I even have a podcast is not because Sam died, it's because I am a talker with more to say than friends and family to listen. The second reason I have a podcast is because talking through this tragedy is the only way I know to get through it.

I am not necessarily further along or stronger than anyone else listening here but I do know what I need to move forward. Honest and open conversation and a place to talk about my experience. Thank you for stopping by.

The last weekend I spent with Sam was two years ago, just two weeks before his body was discovered in a field. I keep thinking about how I should have been able to use that weekend to make a difference in his life.

In this episode, I discuss how the memories of our last time together cause me to ruminate on unhelpful thoughts and why I believe that the anniversary of last communications with a deceased one feel so vulnerable.

I will also talk about 6 ideas, based on facts and realities, that I try to come back to as I keep myself in check and also support myself during this time.

I would like to think that one day should not have power over another but consciously and unconsciously, these anniversaries can be very challenging to get through.

We don't often talk about how scary the idea of healing from the loss of a child can feel. It feels wrong to accept the impossible and like a betrayal towards our son or daughter if we even conceive of a life after them. One of the hardest task a bereaved parent will ever be tasked with is the decision to keep living.

In this episode, I discuss my own difficult feelings towards healing after Sam's death, why it feels so scary, and how the past two years have changed my perspective regarding the connection I continue to have with my son to this day.

Thank you for stopping by.