I’ve been thinking a lot about how fear can show up in our lives in sneaky ways—especially when we don’t even realize it. Maybe you’ve noticed it too, that feeling of snapping at someone or getting defensive when it’s not even necessary. What’s wild is that it’s not really about being angry—it’s fear wearing the mask of aggression, and we often don’t see it for what it is until it's already done damage.

I was having a conversation with my friend Trevor Boylston, who’s a coach and leadership expert, and he put it this way: “Fear makes us fight to protect something we feel we’re losing.”

That stuck with me, because SO OFTEN we disguise our fear behind that sense of aggression because it feels like we can control it. But the truth? It’s a complete disconnect from true confidence.

Trevor’s insight on this is spot on—he helps us understand how fear shows up in subtle ways, like defensiveness or shutting people down before they have the chance to finish a thought. It’s a knee-jerk reaction, but it’s also a learned response that we can unlearn. If we’re not consciously aware of how we’re responding, fear takes the wheel, and the confidence we’re striving for gets left behind.

Confidence gives you the space to not react from a place of fear. It’s like this invisible shield that helps you stay calm and centered when others are spiraling-- staying grounded, rather than escalating things, is a much more powerful response.

So, if you’ve ever found yourself reacting out of fear, snapping at someone, or shutting down in a conversation, this episode is for you. It’s not just about controlling your aggression—it’s about understanding what’s underneath it and building the confidence to face it head-on. Settle in, hit play, and let’s unpack this together.

You’ll walk away knowing:

• How fear turns into aggression and why we don’t always see it.
• What makes us go from zero to angry in the blink of an eye.
• Why emotional intelligence is your secret weapon when things get heated.
• What to do when you feel that aggressive energy bubbling up.
• How to handle tough conversations without letting fear take the wheel.

Trevor Boylston is the guy in the cube next to you who brings the ‘everyman’ perspective to working in a corporate environment as a transgender individual. With experience driving LGBTQ+ empowerment at a leading medical device company, and volunteer service with a leading LGBTQ+ community health center, Trevor brings an authentic view of how to foster an inclusive culture within a corporate structure. Learn more about Trevor or hire him to speak at trevorboylston.com.

The last few weeks have brought a lot of loss into my life—family members, extended family, and friends. Some were expected, others were far too sudden and heartbreaking. Through it all, I kept hearing this phrase: live your best life. And I couldn't help but wonder, what does that really mean? What does it look like to truly live our best life, especially when life can be so unpredictable?

When we're young, "living our best life" might look like partying, chasing thrills, and living on the edge. Then, as we hit midlife, maybe it's about career success, raising kids, or building a solid foundation for the future. As we get older, though, living our best life shifts again. We start focusing on health, relationships, and finding more meaningful experiences. It becomes about aligning how we spend our time with what truly matters—our values, our purpose, our joys.

Living our best life isn't just about doing what makes us feel good in the moment; it’s about being intentional with our time, energy, and resources. It's about pruning out the things, habits, and even people that no longer serve us. Maybe those friends who were once fun in our twenties don't fit into our life anymore. Maybe that item in the house we've been holding onto for years isn't really bringing us joy. At some point, we all have to make the decision to stop wasting time or energy on things that aren't meaningful anymore.

This kind of shift requires maturity, confidence, and the courage to prioritize what really matters. And it’s not always easy—sometimes, it means confronting habits or relationships that we’ve clung to for a long time. But I truly believe that living your best life is about activating those dreams and desires that you’ve pushed aside. Maybe it's traveling to Greece or finally writing that book. It's not about making excuses. It’s about making those things a priority and figuring out how to make them happen.

So how do we go about it? I’m glad you asked, but the answers are in the episode. If you’re ready to find out YOUR best life and how to start living into it, listen in.

One day we’re traveling through life in the lane we’ve been in for seemingly ever and the next there’s this whisper—this pull telling you to switch gears.

That’s exactly where this episode’s guest, Shellie Rapson, found herself. Mid-life, she’d built a successful corporate career, was living a comfortable life, but something just wasn’t clicking anymore. She hit a point where she had to ask herself, Do I really want to keep going down this road? Or is it time to do something that actually lights me up?

For Shellie it happened after she pulled her car into her driveway after another day at the office and it was a full-on “a-ha” moment. Suddenly, there was no time to waste. She knew that NOW was the time to chase something that mattered.

Shellie’s career-change story is all about what can happen when we answer the call of a gut feeling even when it seems crazy. She turned her back on her safe, corporate career and dove headfirst into global health where the work is literally life and death.

Can we talk about how scary that must’ve been? But she went for it, and I’m here for it.

What’s wild is that she almost felt guilty at first. Can you imagine walking away from a career where you're the breadwinner, the one everyone relies on? Shellie had this whole "Am I being selfish?" thing going on. But here’s the thing—her passion for global health, for projects like bringing ambulances to rural Uganda, was so much bigger than that guilt.

What I love most about her journey is how it’s a reminder that confidence doesn’t mean knowing exactly what’s next. It’s about believing enough in yourself to make that leap—even when you don’t have it all figured out yet. Shellie didn’t know what the future held when she made this change, but she knew it was her change to make.

And that kind of confidence? That’s what we need more of.

Key takeaways from our conversation:

• Confidence isn’t about knowing everything; it’s about trusting yourself enough to jump, even when the path isn’t clear.
• You don’t have to wait for the perfect time to make a change - and there really isn’t one.
• You can let go of the comfort zone without losing stability.

At the end of the day, it’s not about stuff or status. It’s about living a life that feels authentic and meaningful.

After nearly three decades in corporate communications, Shellie followed her heart in 2024 to pursue a long-held dream in global health. The loss of a loved one became her catalyst for change, showing her that some dreams can't wait. Today, Shellie is completing her global health certification with fieldwork in Uganda, connecting rural villages with vital transportation to health centers. She now serves as a communications strategist with Pipeline Worldwide, a nonprofit dedicated to delivering sustainable health solutions to communities living in extreme poverty in northern Uganda. For more information about Shellie’s work visit www.pipelineworldwide.org.