In this intimate interview on Project I AM, Dr. David Schlosz speaks with Diane (a pseudonym) about the unraveling and reweaving of her marriage to Jack following his affair. The conversation delves into the complex emotional journey through betrayal, the challenges of rebuilding trust, and the hard work of transforming their relationship. Diane shares the impact of infidelity on her self-esteem, the reconciliation process, and the practical changes they made to ensure a healthier, stronger marriage. This episode highlights the raw, ongoing evolution of a couple determined to break generational cycles and rebuild a deeply connected partnership.

In this reflective and educational episode of Project I Am, Dr. David Schlosz explores the profound role of transference and countertransference in the therapeutic relationship—unpacking how these often misunderstood dynamics can become powerful tools for growth, insight, and healing.

Through the lens of Relational-Cultural Therapy (RCT) and the NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM), David breaks down how the therapist-client relationship becomes a living classroom—one where old wounds show up in the room and where genuine connection creates the conditions for change. With real clinical vignettes, current research, and candid reflections from his own experience as a therapist and educator, David guides counseling students and emerging therapists through the art of staying present, relationally attuned, and grounded in the “now” of the therapeutic encounter.

This episode challenges listeners to move beyond technique and theory into the heart of the work: the relationship itself. Whether you're navigating the emotional pull of countertransference or helping a client rewrite an old relational story, this episode will inspire you to lean into the complexities of the therapeutic process with humility, courage, and grace.

This episode is ideal for Counseling graduate students, early-career therapists, supervisors, and anyone curious about the transformative potential of authentic therapeutic connection.

Listen now and discover how the relationship is the therapy.

• Miller, J.B. & Stiver, I. (1991). A Relational Reframing of Therapy. Stone Center Colloquium. (Perspectives on reframing transference/countertransference in a relational context)growthinconnection.orggrowthinconnection.org
• Grow Therapy (2024). What is Relational Therapy? – Discussion of transference and countertransference as tools in relational-cultural therapygrowtherapy.comgrowtherapy.com
• Edgewood Health Network (2022). Exploring NARM: A Complementary Model for Healing Developmental Trauma – NARM training insights on the importance of working with transference and countertransference in treating relational traumaedgewoodhealthnetwork.com
• LaPierre, A. & Heller, L. (2018). The Capacity for Connection in Healing Developmental Trauma. (Discussion of the challenge of transference in early trauma therapy and the need for nervous system stabilization)neuroaffectivetouch.com
• Havens, R., et al. (2022). Managing Transference and Countertransference in CBT Supervision. Dove Medical Press. (Contains meta-analytic findings: effective countertransference management linked to better therapy outcomes)pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
• Additional: Various sources on mutuality, therapeutic alliance, and relational therapy principlespmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.govpmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.govgrowtherapy.com

In this vulnerable and powerful episode of Project I Am, Dr. David Schlosz peels back the mask many of us wear—the smile that hides the ache. Centered around his original spoken word poem, David explores how we often live on autopilot, clinging to humor, charm, and control as coping strategies rooted in early survival.

Drawing from Internal Family Systems, trauma research, and personal reflection, this episode unpacks how defensive ego states and old patterns become our default identities—even when they no longer serve us. Through storytelling, insight, and a guided mindfulness practice, David gently invites us to come home to ourselves, reminding us that we don’t have to perform to be loved.

This is an invitation to wake up. To be present. And to know, maybe for the first time, that being here—just as you are—is enough.