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Getting Arrested, Peeing in Cement, and Drafting the Ultimate Karen 🚔🎨🍌

If you’ve ever wondered what crime your friends think you’d get arrested for, this is the episode for you. We kick things off with Chris trying to guess what felony David would most likely commit, and honestly… some of these are too accurate.

Then, things take a turn:
👮 Chris got pulled over – did he talk his way out of it, or is he recording this from county lockup?
💦 If you were submerged in wet cement up to your waist and it hardened, could you still pee? (This is the kind of scientific research we prioritize.)
🧥 How the f*** do you fix a hoodie drawstring? (Seriously, why is this harder than solving world hunger?)

And because we can’t stay on topic for more than five minutes:
🍌 Chris met the Savannah Bananas – and no, that’s not a weird sex cult, it’s a baseball team.
🎨 Famous painting or toddler scribble? We put our art knowledge (or lack thereof) to the test.
📍 GeoGuessr proves we have no idea where anything is.
🔄 Small world moments that make you rethink reality.

Other highlights include:

• Netflix prices are up again, because of course they are.
• What’s the point of jellyfish? No, really—what do they even do?
• How can you drive for 149 hours across Russia and still be in Russia?!
• The “Karen Draft” – assembling the most insufferable lineup of all time.
• What’s your go-to “struggle meal”? (If you’ve eaten a ketchup sandwich, we see you.)
• If your sex life was a movie, what would the title be? (Prepare for some depressing and/or wildly optimistic answers.)

And of course, this week’s Pour Choices, because at this point, alcohol is the only thing holding this podcast together. 🍻

Buckle up for chaos, dumb questions, and the occasional existential crisis—just another day on the Pour Choices Show.

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

Chapters

00:00 – INTRO
1:27 – IF I GOT ARRESTED…
3:22 – CHRIS GOT PULLED OVER
9:22 – COULD YOU PEE IN HARDENED CEMENT?
11:08 – PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS
14:00 – FIXING DRAWSTRINGS
12:27 – MILLION DOLLAR IDEA
19:33 – HVAC UPDATE
20:37 – SAVANNAH BANANAS
24:00 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY MITT ROMNEY!
27:00– RANDOM THINGS
30:32 – LITTLE PEEPS
31:22 – TAMPA ART FESTIVAL
38:22 – ABSTRACT ART
41:25 – WHO PAINTED IT – FAMOUS ARTIST OR TODDLER?
47:22 – SMALL WORLD, AINT IT?
51:48 – KAREN DRAFT
58:07 – THIS WEEKS POUR CHOICES
59:42 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT IS YOUR GO TO "STRUGGLE" MEAL?
1:04:09 – ASK REDDIT
– IF A MOVIE WAS MADE ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE, WHAT WOULD THE TITLE BE?1:07:00 – OUTRO

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Cyclops Tears, Bear Pants, and the Great Emu War – Absolute Nonsense Incoming 🦸‍♂️🦆🍻

Buckle up, degenerates—this episode goes from pop culture madness to historical stupidity in record time. First up, we celebrate the birthday of Tiger King himself (because nothing screams America like a mullet and exotic animals). Then, we get deep into the real questions:

🐻 How would a bear wear pants? (Legit debate. It got heated.)
👶 Why do babies and old people act the same? (And at what point does the switch flip?)
🔫 The Great Emu War—when Australia went to war with birds… and lost.

From there, we talk Keanu Reeves, and how he was almost the quarterback for the Baltimore Ravens (because John Wick is undefeated, and if Trent Dilfer can do it, well, we probably can), tackle Chris’s venture into an early spring cleaning, and unload some fire Harry Potter jokes—because nothing’s off-limits.

More highlights from this fever dream of an episode:
⚾ Are we past time to play America’s pastime, or could a couple dudes pushing 40 still knock one out of the park?
🐟 "Teach a man to fish"—but what if that man sucks at fishing?
🚢 Titanic lobsters—how lucky were they?
👨‍⚕️ Guess what these doctors actually doctor. (Spoiler: We’re way off.)
🦍 Why the hell didn’t Tarzan have a beard? (Seriously, wtf, Disney?)

Then, because we have zero chill, we discuss:

• The most useless waste of money in human history.
• What if God was actually pronounced ‘Jod’? (Yep, it’s one of those discussions.)
• A hometown plane crash story that somehow turns into comedy.

And of course, this week’s Pour Choices, because bad beer choices are kinda our thing. 🍻

This episode is a full-on mess in the best way possible. Grab a drink, embrace the chaos, and let’s get weird. 🍺

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

Chapters

00:00 – INTRO
3:28 – OPENING QUESTIONS
8:01 – CYCLOPS TEARS
11:09 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIGER KING!
14:25 – HOW WOULD A BEAR WEAR PANTS?
16:51 – BABIES & OLD PEOPLE
18:02 – THE GREAT EMU WAR|
25:58 – KEANU REEVES DRAFTED 1ST OVERALL
26:40 – SPRING CLEANING
30:50 – HARRY POTTER JOKES
37:17 – AMERICA’S PASTIME
46:13 – PICK 3 NUMBERS
52:15 – TITANIC LOBSTERS
54:04 – TEACH A MAN TO FISH
55:36 – GUESS WHAT THESE DOCTOR’S DOCTOR
1:01:39 – WHY DIDN’T TARZAN HAVE A BEARD?
1:02:08 – PLANE CRASHES
1:04:41 – HONEYMOONIVERSARY
1:08:49 – TWO HALVES OF LIFE
1:11:29 – THIS WEEKS POUR CHOICES
1:15:43 – HOMETOWN PLANE CRASH
1:16:52 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT IF GOD WAS PRONOUNCED JOD?
1:19:11 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT WAS THE BIGGEST WASTE OF MONEY IN HUMAN HISTORY?
1:25:27 – OUTRO

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Blockbuster Diarrhea, Racial Slurs, and Male Stereotypes – Another Unhinged Episode 🎮💩🍻

If you’re looking for structure, logic, or even a shred of decency—this ain’t it. This week, we kick things off by asking what makes you a Toys-R-Us kid before spiraling into existential nonsense like aging in reverse and why waking up at 3 AM feels like an out-of-body experience.

Then, things take a turn:
💰 Would you rather earn $1 per compliment or $10 per insult? (Get ready to ruin friendships.)
💩 Would you rather have poop everytime you pop or have a 5% chance of dropping a racial slur in every conversation? (We really shouldn’t be allowed to make these decisions.)
📼 Blockbuster used to give us the runs. (Yep, that’s a real story.)

We also get culturally educated by comparing Germany vs. Japan, debating the superiority of Japanese toilets, and diving into the weirdest world records that somehow exist.

Other absolute gems from this episode:

• Ant-to-human ratio—is it actually a million to one?
• Acting out ridiculous scenarios like we're actually talented – Betty White tried to smuggle what!?
• Mind-melting paradoxes that will make you question everything.
• Are you smarter than a 5th grader? (Spoiler: No.)
• Do YOU fit these ridiculous male stereotypes?
• Fashion show? On this podcast? You bet your ass.

And because we can’t help ourselves:
🎥 Pornhub Title or Lifetime Movie? (Good Luck)
🕰️ 90s & 2000s nostalgia—what disappeared that we actually miss?
🤯 What’s something you cannot believe is actually real?

We wrap it up with this week’s Pour Choices, because at this point, alcohol is a necessity.

Buckle up, grab a drink, and prepare to question your life choices for tuning in. 🍻

Now let’s make POUR CHOICES! And as always, don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!

New Episodes Released Every Wednesday – Don’t Miss Out!

Chapters

00:00 – INTRO
2:06 – WHAT MAKES YOU A TOYS-R-US KID?
2:49 – AGING IN REVERSE
7:10 – WAKING UP AT 3 AM
10:37 – WOULD YOU RATHER – $1 PER COMPLIMENT OR $10 PER INSULT
12:16 – WOULD YOU RATHER – INCONVENIENT POOP OR RACIAL SLUR
14:07 – BLOCKBUSTER GIVES ME THE RUNS
18:18 – GERMANY VS JAPAN
24:00 – TOILETS IN JAPAN
27:09 – U.K. VACATION
29:52 – MYSTERY PILL FOLLOW UP
31:20 – BIRDS DON’T URINATE
32:34 – DUMBEST WORLD RECORDS
43:05 – ANT TO HUMAN RATIO
44:34 – ACT IT OUT
49:06 – PARADOXES
54:38 – ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A 5th GRADER?
58:28 – DO YOU FIT THESE MALE STEREOTYPES?
1:05:34 – PORNHUB TITLE OR LIFETIME MOVIE
1:10:28 – RANDOM QUESTIONS
1:16:00 – THIS WEEKS POUR CHOICES
1:19:56 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT WAS NORMAL IN THE 90’s & 2000’s, BUT HAS
DISAPPEAREDTODAY?
1:24:45 – ASK REDDIT – WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU CANNOT BELIEVE IS REAL?
1:31:27 – UNCLE JACK
1:32:08 – NATIONAL DAYS & BIRTHDAY WISHES
1:35:15 – OUTRO

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