Normalize therapy.

著者: Caleb & Verlynda Simonyi-Gindele
  • サマリー

  • Formerly: The Marriage Podcast for Smart People
    Caleb & Verlynda Simonyi-Gindele, 2025. For personal self-help use only.
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あらすじ・解説

Formerly: The Marriage Podcast for Smart People
Caleb & Verlynda Simonyi-Gindele, 2025. For personal self-help use only.
エピソード
  • Five Fundamentals of Good Marriage Communication
    2025/03/19
    Navigating the complexities of marital communication can sometimes feel like solving an intricate puzzle. Whether you've been together for years or entered into newlywed bliss, effective communication remains the backbone of a strong and loving relationship. Let's delve into five essential fundamentals that can transform the way you and your spouse connect, fostering a relationship where understanding, safety, and respect reign supreme. 1. Empathy and Understanding Imagine trying to express your feelings, only to be met with dismissal or misunderstanding. The seed of successful communication is empathy – the ability to stand in your partner's shoes and genuinely understand their emotional landscape. Empathy isn't about agreeing on everything, but acknowledging that your partner's feelings and reactions make sense. Building this foundation starts with the simple act of listening, indicating understanding, and expressing gratitude for shared emotions. 2. Creating a Safe Space For communication to flourish, both partners must feel safe to express their thoughts without fear of judgment or dismissal. A judgment-free zone signifies emotional safety, where your spouse feels comfortable sharing their vulnerabilities. It’s pivotal to resist minimizing each other’s feelings with phrases like "just relax," which undermine security. Instead, actively listen and validate emotions to solidify the trust and safety in your relationship. 3. Practicing Acceptance Acceptance means cherishing your partner for who they are, even when they falter. This involves showing unconditional love and concern without imposing additional conditions. While it's easy to express frustration over minor flaws, remember that acceptance extends to moments of human imperfection. Reinforcing your love and appreciation even when things are less than perfect can fortify the emotional bond between you. 4. Upholding Respect Respect is the cornerstone of healthy communication, especially amid disagreements. Fundamentally, no conflict should compromise either partner's integrity. Whether as simple as refraining from name-calling during disagreements or ensuring positive representation of your spouse in their absence, respect should be unwavering. Before responding in anger, pause to consider if your words will build the relationship or detract from it. 5. Embracing Openness Openness encourages a culture of honest conversation, which can be daunting for some. Especially if you lean towards introversion or have grown up avoiding conflict, pushing through discomfort to disclose personal thoughts and worries is vital. When approached with empathy and acceptance, these honest exchanges nurture intimacy and trust, creating a more profound connection. Practical Tips for Better Communication During your next disagreement, ensure you truly understand your spouse’s viewpoint before responding. Validate your spouse's feelings to reinforce emotional safety. Regularly express gratitude and appreciation, especially in challenging times. Remember respect when your spouse is present and in their absence. Cultivate a habit of open communication, starting small and building towards greater transparency. Healthy communication isn't about flawless dialogue but fostering an environment where love, understanding, and respect consistently underpin your interactions. By integrating these fundamentals, you cultivate a relationship that not only withstands life's challenges but thrives amidst them, solidifying the emotional bond with your spouse for years to come. Whether you're navigating the early stages of marriage or rediscovering connection in a long-term partnership, the journey to fortifying your communication starts today. Implement these strategies and watch your marriage blossom into a resilient and loving partnership.
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    30 分
  • NEWS RELEASE: Life Update for Caleb & Verlynda, plus rebranding and new shows coming!
    2025/03/12
    We discuss our personal experiences, including burnout, career changes, and coping with the pandemic. The episode covers the transition from our old OnlyYouForever brand to the new Therapevo Counselling brand, highlighting the expanded focus on diverse counseling topics and services. We also touch on rebranding the podcast to 'Normalize therapy.' and adding a new YouTube channel. We talk about upcoming content and plans to expand our social media presence and blogging.
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    18 分
  • Why Is My Spouse So Controlling?
    2020/07/08
    We're here to talk There’s a level of control that occurs in relatively few marriages that we would see as part of an abusive power and control dynamic. But then there’s a lower level of control that doesn’t come from an abusive spouse that can still be frustrating and lead to conflict in the marriage. We’ve talked about the abusive kind of control before, so if you want to learn more about that kind of control feel free to go back to our previous episodes of the podcast to learn more about what that looks like. Today, we’re talking about the annoying kind of controlling. This is not so much about the spouse’s power and dominance as the controlling spouse’s worry, fear, anxiety, and maybe even mental health issues that are driving this behavior. And sometimes the non-controlling spouse may also be acting in ways that prompt this behavior. If you’re listening to this to try to figure out your spouse, you may ask yourself what your role might be and how might you help your spouse feel less of a need to be in control. Where Control Issues Come From 1. Fear Control issues are often rooted in fear. This is the first place to look. If you’re afraid and you want to make it safer, you’re going to want to control the variables. This is quite a common response to fear. Fear can come from a number of different places. One place fear can come from is trauma. When something very frightening or overwhelming happens, it may cause a person to install certain requirements or demands in order to preserve safety. For example, you’ve been in a late night car accident, and you now want to control all of the family travel so that there’s no late-night travel going on and no one is allowed to go out after dark. So now you’ve become “controlling.” You’ve installed requirements or demands on others in order to preserve your sense of safety and well-being, to stop the horror from repeating itself. Another source of control is abandonment (fear of being left alone). If you were left alone at some point as a child or at a point in your marriage, that may result in the kind of controlling behavior where you don’t let your spouse do things on their own or do certain things on their own. You always have to be there, or you always have to do things together. 2. Betrayal Betrayal may also lead to controlling relationships with certain kinds of people in order to prevent re-betrayal. For example, if in your first marriage you were sexually betrayed by your spouse, in your second marriage you may marry a faithful person, but you exert control on them to make sure that that previous betrayal doesn’t re-occur, much to the frustration of your current spouse. That can get difficult because it can cause such distress in your marriage that there’s an emotional separation, or drifting apart that occurs between you. Thus, controlling behavior can lead to further dysfunction. 3. Mental Health Issues Now that we’ve talked about a few fear-related causes of control, we’re going to move on to look at mental health. Some mental health issues can cause controlling behavior. Take personality disorders like Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Someone with BPD may say if you leave, I’ll hurt myself, or I might not be ok somehow (there’s a clinging aspect of BPD that does relate to fear of abandonment, but it is also a mental health condition and the fear piece is a part of that). BPD is something some individuals suffer with, but it is not a common disorder. A more common mental health issue would be anxiety of various forms: generalized anxiety disorder, social phobia (we can’t go out, or we go there and I make you turn around and take me back home), etc. which may manifest as need to control/limit behaviors or activities with others in attempt to reduce the symptoms of anxiety. The other spouse may find themselves saying “why are you always contr...
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    23 分

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